Posted in Alienated children psychopathic parent, Are there psychopathic children?, Attachment, Security, Separation and Psychological Differentiation, Autopsy of the Narcissistic Parental Alienator, British Psychological Society's Division of Counselling Psychology in London, Carl Jung - psychological theorists, Parental Alienation PA

DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR VENGEFUL FATHER SYNDROME

Taken from:-http://mothersoflostchildren.org/2015/09/vengeful-father-syndrome/

Charles PragnelltoPsychopathy

DIAGNOSTIC CRITERIA FOR VENGEFUL FATHER SYNDROME

The most notable behaviors and attitudes manifested by vengeful fathers and which indicate Vengeful Father’s Syndrome.

1. CONTROL AND DOMINATION – The outstanding feature of Vengeful Father Syndrome is an obsessive and relentless drive for continuing control and domination over their former spouse and their children, who they view in terms of their personal ownership. In these cases, there is usually a history of spousal assault, rape, and a range of emotional, psychological, and physical maltreatment of their spouse and of their children, either directly or indirectly as a consequence of the spousal abuse. These are usually the factors which have led to the separation and ultimately to the divorce. Many such clinical examples case illustrations can be found in the Case Judgments in Family Law cases in all countries, as such Vengeful Fathers frequently use the law and the legal system as a means of enforcing their rights and demands and for continuing to persecute their victims, both mothers and children. They can also be found abundantly in the cases referred to voluntary organisations involved in Domestic Violence support services and child advocacy work
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2. LACK OF EMOTION AND ‘AFFECTIVE’ RESPONSES – Vengeful Fathers are notable for their absence of genuine emotions and feelings although some have developed relatively sophisticated methods of mimicking such attitudes and behaviors in order to appear `normal’;

3. LACK OF EMPATHY, COMPASSION, AND REMORSE – these are very significant features of the Vengeful Father who frequently obtain a schadenfreudic delight in observing the consequences of their behaviors in their victims’ responses and sufferings;

4. OBSESSIVELY DETERMINED TO `WIN’’ IN ANY FORM OF CONTEST, PARTICULARLY IN COURT PROCEEDINGS – THE VENGEFUL FATHER ALWAYS REQUIRES THAT HE IS PROVEN TO BE `RIGHT’ IN HIS VIEW OF THE WORLD, EVENTS, AND HIS PERCEPTIONS OF OTHERS – Vengeful fathers found considerable support in the conjectures and contentions of R.A. Gardner regarding Parental Alienation Syndrome during its period of being favored in some Family Courts. PAS provided an immediate vehicle by which the Vengeful Father could transfer blame onto the mother, when his children rejected and despised him for his cruel and uncaring behaviors towards them in the past and the children resisted any attempts to force them into contact or residency with him. It has become increasingly obvious that in many cases where Vengeful Fathers have alleged PAS, that in fact it was a clear and convincing case of Self-Alienation;

5. DECEIT, CUNNING, AND MANIPULATION – Vengeful Fathers often present and portray themselves to relatives, family friends, and significant others as the `Perfect father’. The purpose of this is to encourage others to believe that their former spouse is the defective partner and parent, or is `to blame’ for the relationship breakdown and to thereby isolate them from their social groups and communities. This again is a part of the Vengeful Father’s `control and dominate’ strategy. With little or no support, it is easier for them to continue to persecute and torment their victims;

6. GROOMING AND MANIPULATION OF AUTHORITY FIGURES AND PROFESSIONALS – Vengeful Fathers quickly recognize that lawyers, Court Reporters/Consultants, and judges have key roles in the Family Law system, They quickly learn the tactics and ploys to defend themselves in Courtrooms or receive advice from the many Father’s Rights groups and websites formed by other Vengeful Fathers. Such tactics and ploys involve : Denial or minimization of any allegations of assault or abuse, despite evidence to the contrary and including criminal convictions; Blaming the victims; Counter allegations to weaken the victim’s position; Provocation by the victims;

7. BLAME THE VICTIM – probably the most highly significant feature of the behavior and actions of the Vengeful Father, is a pathological aversion to accepting any form of responsibility for their actions. They readily blame the police, authority figures, the Courts, lawyers and even mothers, when proceedings do not go in the way they expect and anticipate. When thwarted in such ways and denied a “winning’’ outcome, this is when they become at their most dangerous.

From 1998-January 2014 there were 19 events were separated fathers killed their children. A total of 52 people have died in these events. 38 of the dead were children. All were murdered. Two women were murdered and 2 men were murdered. The remaining 10 men’s deaths were suicides by the perpetrators.

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Role of psychologists as expert witnesses in family proceedings

As set out in Psychologists as expert witnesses: Guidelines and procedure (BPS, 2015): ‘An expert is a person who, through special training, study or experience, is able to furnish the Court, tribunal or oral hearing with scientific or technical information which is likely to be outside the experience and knowledge of a Judge, magistrate, convenor or Jury’. Experts may be instructed in the family courts when their expertise is necessary to make decisions in the case.

Download the full document here:-

http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/download/psychologists-as-expert-witnesses.pdf

Posted in Parental Alienation PA, parents of estranged adult children

Parental Alienation‬ Syndrome

ATTENTION Authors, Psychologists, Parental Alienation‬ Syndrome experts

Let them know that their other parent is distorting things. Protecting them from this information isn’t protecting them, it’s setting them up.”

http://momsheartsunsilenced.com/2014/07/11/attention-authors-psychologists-parental-alienation%e2%80%ac-syndrome-experts/ 

 

Posted in Life after Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation PA, parents of estranged adult children

Hiding from the TRUTH – Parental alienation

Hiding from the TRUTH

Sitting in the garden, sun shining. Cleaner has just been, house is gleaming ready for my friend arriving tomorrow.

Just painting my toe nails ready for a few girly nights out – Party on!

Looking at Buddha for inspiration I had to ask myself many questions:-

  1. why would my two adult children block me on every social network they belong to but allow total strangers in?
  2. why would they move house and not tell me where they are?
  3. why would they not respond to any phone calls or emails?
  4. why would they not respond to any cards or gifts I had sent?
  5. why when I did have contact with my daughter was there not a photograph of me in sight?
  6. why when I asked to see all the family photo’s my daughter said her father had destroyed every single one of them including the baby photos?
  7. why when I asked my children to try and remember the good times, holidays, Christmas etc they could not recall anything?
  8. why don’t they contact any their other family members, uncles, cousins aunts?
  9. why do they hide away like two criminals?
  10. why when nothing tragic has happened do they behave in this way?

Then I asked myself the same questions:

  1. My social networks are open for them both to see and contact me.
  2. I even print my phone number and email address on the front page so they can find me easily
  3. They can phone me, call me or email whenever they like
  4. I would at least have the courtesy and good manners to thank them for a gift or card
  5. I have photos all around my house of my son, daughter and family
  6. I have a couple of school photos left but sadly nothing to show the grandchildren – no baby photos!
  7. I have very fond memories of many family holidays and Christmas, no one can take your memories away!
  8. I contact all of my family and my husbands on a regular basis to enquire how they are
  9. I do not hide away from anyone! I have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide!
  10. It is not normal behavior from well-balanced adults!

The only conclusion I can come to is that they are hiding from themselves, their friends and family from the TRUTH!!!!

truth

Posted in Parental Alienation‬ Syndrome experts:, Psychologists, To all Authors

To all Authors, Psychologists, Parental Alienation‬ Syndrome experts:

Some moms & dads have no contact with our kids because of the psychological pain/punishment & rewards they receive & that results under the control of the alienating parent. Therefore, our kids desperately need materials to be made available to school libraries, online, etc.
Even in the form of a brochure, novel, or play — youth deserve to understand they are not alone or crazy. It would be ludicrous to ignore sexual abuse —— why is Parental Alienation abuse not taught to youth? It is as if this form of abuse is being condoned. The sociopath alreadymanipulates and controls information and every reality to their child. Is it healthy to just go alone with the abuser’s orchestrations & sick games requiring denial even for those who do have some contact with their kids? Even if that’s the better choice, then all the more reason we depend on intervention from experts via age-appropriate educational materials. The community is a must in many situations where a youth is living a risky lifestyle the system ignores. Some of our kids are suicidal in their confusion. Education would give them a sense of power (just the power to name & express the hurt in a diary or to a trusted friend or adult!) & hope when their relationship with their loving parent and all family members has been severed completely.

“My father was viewed as ‘the hero’ by his family, neighbors, friends, etc. After all, HE was the parent who stuck around. I am disappointed (to put it lightly) in the adults who did not question this at the time and did not step in to intervene. The alienating parent often convinces and intimidates the adults in his life into believing he is doing the right thing,” says author of musingsimplicity blog, an adult child of Parental Alienation who is in the process of writing her memoir.

Another formerly alienated daughter writes on One Mom’s Battle Facebook wall:  “My father was verbally and emotionally abusive to my mother, and did everything possible to alienate my siblings and myself against her. It worked. Even though my father abused my siblings and me, and terrorized the whole family, I was utterly brainwashed to think that my mother was the problem. I spent twenty years estranged from her.” […] “Let them know that their other parent is distorting things. Protecting them from this information isn’t protecting them, it’s setting them up.”

Sometimes the only person to let abused youth understand their pain and confusion is for someone other than the target parent to educate them on healthy relationships and how Parental Alienation may be the cause of many young people’s pain. Some young people are stepping up by creating youtube videos about their Parental Alienation experience for other youth. It’s time for professionals to support youth when parents are completely stopped and no avenues exist — YES, MANY TIMES NO AGENCY OR JUDGE WILL DO THEIR JOB NO MATTER WHAT DOCUMENTATION WE DO OR ADVICE WE FOLLOW FROM YOU EXPERTS. Thank you for all you already to do help those suffering from Parental Alienation.  Please help educate youth about EXTREME/SEVERE alienation.

http://momsheartsunsilenced.com/2014/07/11/attention-authors-psychologists-parental-alienation%e2%80%ac-syndrome-experts/

Posted in Uncategorized

Feel sorry for and pity the Alienator

Have pity and feel sorry for the alienating parent.

I speak from experience, you do not have to be a psychologist or social worker to work it out. The alienator – (be them a parent, sibling or grandparent) obviously has severe insecurity issues and much emotional baggage.

By alienating a child from people or relatives around them, they feel they are securing their own love from that child – by process of elimination!! If they are the only remaining person in that childs/adult childs life the only option for that child (adult child) is to love that remaining person in their life – it’s not rocket science!!! By putting themselves first and depriving the child (children) of loving relatives they are instilling a behavioural habit into that child/adult child for later years. That child, or those children in multiple cases, will grow up thinking it is perfectly normal behaviour to alienate people from their lives and will teach their own children the same. Then history goes on and on repeating itself because no one has had the courage or foresight to put that child (those children) first in their life, and do the decent thing and allow that child (those children) to be loved by everyone!!!

I know to suggest pity and sorrow for these types of people sounds like madness, but their lives must be so emotionally disturbed and empty to put their own feelings first, they must feel so much bitterness and anger about something from their past

Maybe we should be trying to help them seek counselling or medical help, not blame them!!!

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