My 12 year old grandson has reappeared on facebook after 1 year.
I am blocked from his mothers account and have been blocked from him and not had contact for 3 years now.
I have sent a message through Facebook which will go into his other folder in the in box.
I have attached a link to the video i made for him of happy times we had together in the hope that even if his parents block me, he would at least have a chance to glimpse at the YouTube video and remember the happy times.
Have learnt this weekend that he is well under the influence of the alienator!!! (my ex husband).
Do I have to go through another 24 years of alienation now with my grandson, or could I contact his school or social services to tell them whats happening?
My daughter has told me horror stories about her own upbringing with her father!
Do I just stand back and let history repeat itself???
By the time I posted this I have been blocked again
I went in to look at the you tubes stats, the video has been watched – so that’s good news and all I could hope for. Hopefully it will leave him with some very happy memories of when we were last together 3 years ago and before. My ex’s game is to brainwash and wipe out anything good and replace it with a horror story – so result as far as I am concerned, unless of course the parents deleted it first!!!.
Maladaptive efforts to adjust to remarriage can provoke or exacerbate parental alienation syndrome. The remarried parent, the other parent, the stepparent, and the child each may contribute to the disturbance. Underlying dynamics include jealousy, narcissistic injury, desire for revenge, the wish to erase the exspouse from the childs life in order to make room for the stepparent, competitive feelings between the exspouse and stepparent, the new couples attempt to unite around a common enemy and avoid recognition of conflicts in the marriage, the childs attempt to resolve inner conflict, and parent-child boundary violations. These dynamics are discussed and suggestions for treatment are offered.
the boy and girl had been “tortured” into making false claims, and said that their “minds were scrambled”.
A condition which in my experience, can be regularly seen in children who are influenced to say things and believe things that are not true about a once loved parent.
Whilst this case is extreme in its presentation, there are cases of false allegations which spiral up from innocent events in which children who are caught between warring parents or, in many cases, between one parent determined to eradicate the other. Children who are at the root of such situations, have often said or done something which has been taken by an angry parent who has misinterpreted what has been said as confirming their own deeply held beliefs about how bad the other parent is. When children are confronted by this parent’s reaction to what they have said, they can be brought to a place where they are scared of the consequences of not confirming what the parent assumes is being said. And it is at this point that a child can trip something that actually happened but which was not wrong and not damaging, into a full blown crisis. Once inside the family court system, staffed as it is with people who are largely trained to take the wishes and feelings of children at face value, this crisis will burn through the lives of all it touches like wildfire. The flames being fanned by the children who will, quite easily by now, embellish the original story and shift it and change it to meet the needs of the adults around them.
read more – Taken from https://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/2015/03/21/when-children-lie-and-why-they-lie-and-why-people-who-work-with-separated-families-should-know-that-they-lie-and-why/
In Children Held Hostage, Stanley Clawar and Brynne Rivlin use important new research involving over 1,000 families to demonstrate that children can and are being used by parents in the divorce battle. Their research shows how negative actions by parents toward their children show up in court proceedings where children testify or are questioned by mental health professionals. The major issue in confronting this problem of programmed and brainwashed children has been identification of a child alienated by one parent against the other; proving it in court; and then finding a solution that not only works, but that a court will buy into. The updated edition of Children Held Hostage explains these issues in detail, with practice-focused explanations on every step in the process. The authors offer further insights into gender issues and differences. Other new material includes a social-psychological profile of programmers and brainwashers; identification of the most commonly asked questions by judges, target parents, lawyers and children; an expanded social explanation to the causes, impact, and interventions; development of an abductor profile; charts to visualize key findings and processes; and much more.