Posted in Childrens Act 1989, Degradations of parental alienation, Family Alienation, Parental Alienation PA

What kind of person manipulates a child to do such a thing?

the boy and girl had been “tortured” into making false claims, and said that  their “minds were scrambled”.  

A condition which in my experience, can be regularly seen in children who are influenced to say things and believe things that are not true about a once loved parent.

Whilst this case is extreme in its presentation, there are cases of false allegations which spiral up from innocent events in which children who are caught between warring parents or, in many cases, between one parent determined to eradicate the other.  Children who are at the root of such situations, have often said or done something which has been taken by an angry parent who has misinterpreted what has been said as confirming their own deeply held beliefs about how bad the other parent is.  When children are confronted by this parent’s reaction to what they have said, they can be brought to a place where they are scared of the consequences of not confirming what the parent assumes is being said.  And it is at this point that a child can trip something that actually happened but which was not wrong and not damaging, into a full blown crisis.  Once inside the family court system, staffed as it is with people who are largely trained to take the wishes and feelings of children at face value, this crisis will burn through the lives of all it touches like wildfire. The flames being fanned by the children who will, quite easily by now, embellish the original story and shift it and change it to meet the needs of the adults around them.

read more – Taken from https://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/2015/03/21/when-children-lie-and-why-they-lie-and-why-people-who-work-with-separated-families-should-know-that-they-lie-and-why/

positve

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Time to spread some awareness!!

No child should be made to choose between a mother and father.

via Time to spread some awareness!!.

 

I am so pleased that people are finally gaining the courage to come out and share their stories albeit difficult and sometimes embarrassing. The more we share and create awareness the more chance there is a changing the attitudes of the courts and social services. Its such a shame that social services dont read some of these sites and forums to gain a true perspective on what PAS is really about and how to prevent it.

Posted in Estrangement

parent-child estrangements

parent-child estrangements: Whose life is it, anyway?

Ultimatums to adult children can backfire
When parents and newly adult children disagree about life choices, experts advise parents to shift to a "consulting" role to maintain the relationship, since other choices (like issuing ultimatums) can result in estrangement. (Illustration by Donna Grethen)
When parents and newly adult children disagree about life choices, experts advise parents to shift to a “consulting” role to maintain the relationship, since other choices (like issuing ultimatums) can result in estrangement. (Illustration by Donna Grethen) more >
Ads by Adblade

Cette astuce vous aidera à perdre du poids! Voici le secret des VIP…
Top 10 Motorcycles of the Future
Top 7 Women Who Earn More Than Their Husbands
By Lois M. Collins – Deseret News – Saturday, February 7, 2015

Life in Dick and Liz Diamond’s home followed a pretty straightforward trajectory until recently.

Their oldest, a daughter, went to college, then got married. The middle child, a son, went to college after completing a Christian mission. They assumed their younger son, Alex, would do the same, wondering only which would come first, college or mission.

It turns out Alex, 19, had his own ideas about the path he’d follow as an adult.

One night while he was still in high school, after mentally rehearsing it often because he really hates conflict, the youngest Diamond told his stunned parents he would not go on a church mission and he isn’t sure about God.

“You try to not be living through your children and you try to let them make their choices, but this was something that sort of blindsided us,” Liz Diamond said.

They are in good company.

It is not uncommon for older children, from teens through fully grown adults, to abandon at least portions of their parents’ planned trajectory. Mothers and fathers snuggle their babies and picture how those babies’ lives will unfold. But contrary to parental wishes, those offspring may grow into people who change faiths or drop God. They may bypass marriage or live with partners who haven’t won parental approval. They may drink, do drugs, drop out of school, have no babies or have them too soon.

Numbers are hard to come by, but based on surveys in Great Britain, Australia and the United States, it’s believed about one-fifth of families have disagreements serious enough to result in estrangement, though not always parent-child.

A survey of 2,082 adults by a Great Britain group called Stand Alone found 8 percent had cut off contact with a family member, while 19 percent said they or another family member had done so. Similar numbers were reported in Australia and it’s believed that might be true in the United States, as well. In each case, an undercount was suspected.

The future of an older child-parent relationship often rests on how parents handle such conflict, experts say. It is, perhaps, the most tricky segment of the entire parent-child journey.

“Typically, older kids care somewhat about what you think, but they care more about what they think,” said Joshua Coleman, a San Francisco psychologist and co-chairman of the Council on Contemporary Families. “If you pose them with an ultimatum that they can’t have a close relationship with you unless they make their lives conform to what your ideals are at the expense of their own ideals, you’re probably not going to have a relationship with them.”

Child-focused life

Mr. Coleman, 60, starts a conversation about parent-child conflict with a brief history lesson.

Families have only been egalitarian for about 50 years, with children moving from “seen but not heard” to “the axis on which the family revolves,” at least in the upper and middle class.

Working-class folks more often emphasize behaviors like respect for elders, while leaving the children to experience childhood, he said. That group is less apt to hover over children, a habit popularly referred to as “hothouse” or “helicopter” parenting.

http://www.connectstatesboro.com/news/article/5668/

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Parent Alienation By The Psychopath

The victim, as with everything to do with the narcissist feels helpless and revictimized by society, family, friends and the people who are supposed to be helping her, the legal system, social services, and their own children. I am so thankful I never had a child with my ex,

Ladywithatruck's Blog

I read an excellent article today on how the narcissist/psychopath will alienate the children from the victim. The psychopath knows that is the one way he/she can cause the deepest wounds and the most emotional devastation and it is almost impossible to prove if the psychopath is cunning enough and most of them are. As the article states, it starts long before the relationship ends, the psychopath starts when the children are young and brainwashes them their whole life, subtly, playfully, is ways the victim sounds like an idiot when they try to explain it to anyone who doesn’t know what a narcissist is like.

The victim, as with everything to do with the narcissist feels helpless and revictimized by society, family, friends and the people who are supposed to be helping her, the legal system, social services, and their own children. I am so thankful I never had a…

View original post 265 more words

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

How alienating parents use justified rejection reasoning

It is all so clear from the outside looking in but when you are actually in this situation the Alienator appears to be so convincing. It also continues through the childs adult life unless they are strong enough to think for themselves!!! When will the law change to stop Parental Alienation? It is mental child abuse.

Karen Woodall

The landscape of parental alienation is extremely complex and made more so by the ways in which alienating parents in the severe category are skilled manipulators of other people. Skilled alienators will use other people to achieve their aims such as friends, family, practitioners, parish priests, GP’s, schools, hospitals and the target parent him/herself. Skilled alienators can be cunning and secretive or they can be chaotic and visibly destructive. Where-ever they are on the scale however they can rope in the target parent as well as a raft of other people to convince the world, the children involved and, in some cases even the target parent that the cause of the rejection is justified and not parental alienation. Here is an example of how this is done by a covert but very skilled alienator.

Rachel is a powerful business woman who is in charge of a large company. She has…

View original post 974 more words