Posted in Alienation

Coping with Alienation – What TO Do:

  • Get support – talk to a friend or therapist and describe what you are dealing with. Break the silence and get a reality check and some constructive feedback.
  • Talk to the people you are being alienated from. This takes courage – but go talk to the people whom you have been told are monsters, or who have been told what a flaky, dysfunctional, abusive person you are. Make up your own mind about them, and let them do the same.  Perhaps they are monsters, perhaps not – you may be surprised by what you learn.
  • Stand up for your needs. Confront attempts at alienation abuse with a calm, yet firm, resolve not to allow someone else’s dysfunction cause dysfunction in you. Try saying, “I care about you deeply – and I also care about my own health – this is something I need to do.”
  • Visit loved ones and healthy friends regularly. Go alone if your personality-disordered loved one chooses not to come too. Give yourself permission to break an abuser’s arbitrary rules and slay sacred cows for the sake of healthy activities or choices.
  • Celebrate life for as long as you have the health and strength to do so. You do not have to join a personality-disordered person under their  canopy of depression and darkness. Carpe Diem – Use it well.