Posted in Uncategorized

INTERVIEW WITH DR. KATHLEEN REAY

“It’s ‘as if’ each family member gets inoculated at the same time for a horrible family disease that’s seriously spread out of control. Each individuals’ inoculation may feel a little uncomfortable at first. However, within a very brief period of time, it provides protection to each person while preventing further harmful parent-parent and parent-child conditions from occurring.”

Pamela: One of the biggest problems is getting the short and long term cooperation of alienators. In severe PAS cases how do you get the alienator to comply with the program? Do court orders help?

http://akidnappedmind.com/newsletter/interview-with-dr-kathleen-reay/

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Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

It only takes a few minutes of googling (a verified verb) to learn about the invalidation of “PAS” and “Parental Alienation Syndrome”.

There are some out there that still want to vehemently argue that there is such a thing.  Personally, I can’t disagree that there are behaviors which are meant to denigrate or negatively impact the child’s relationship with the other parent – certainly that part is true.

It is also true, in my opinion, that Richard Gardner, the creator of “PAS” was off his rocker himself.  This is the mental health “professional” who coined the term and forced far too many children (one is too many) to live with potentially abusive parents and denied contact with the parent who was accused of alienation.  This was his form of “therapeutic intervention”, and if you ask me, it should’ve been called “therapeutic abuse”.  While the American Psychiatric Association has discredited the theory and there is no medical or professional association that supports it … its basis and his interventions still have influence in the courtrooms of the world today.

What I find interesting is the corollary between behaviors of a parent who is alienating their child from their other parent, and behaviors of an abusive, personality disordered parent (likely narcissistic).

Behaviors commonly displayed by narcissistic parents, which are meant to alienate the other parent include:

  • Talking with the child/children about the marital relationship and reasons for divorce.
    • For e.g.,  saying that it is the ex’s fault that the children have to go back and forth between houses – if that ex-spouse just wanted to stay married, then the kids wouldn’t have to endure divorce like this
  • Limiting contact with the other parent while they are with them.
    • I have heard too many healthy non-NPD parents talk about the NPD parent limiting phone calls, screening phone calls, or monitoring them
  • Denying the child to have personal property, and not allowing them to move possessions between homes.  The items don’t belong to the child, they belong with the house in which they are staying at the time.  This typically includes any cell phone the child has with them, so the child cannot have open contact, as noted above
  • Limiting information provided to the other parent about the child, even if the child is sick or ill while with them.
    • This is also a behavior which a protective parent eventually adopts, especially if they are practicing “low contact” and/or have come to the realization that information is almost always used against them
  • Blaming the other parent for any problems that exist, like lack of financial resources or opportunities in life because the family is “divorced”
  • Acting in a way which pretends the other parent doesn’t exist. Not allowing the child to mention the other parent’s name or refusing to acknowledge the child has fun with the other parent
  • Attacking the other parent’s character or lifestyle, such as job, living arrangements, activities, clothing and friends
    • Narcissists often put down their spouse while married – it’s a means of lowering their spouses self esteem and weakening the spouse against their emotional abuse
  • Dismissing or being condescending of the other parent’s opinions or parenting style, telling the child to disregard safety rules that are at the other house because they are “stupid” or “ridiculous”
  • Putting the child in the middle by encouraging the child to spy on the other parent or take messages back and forth
    • Or sending the child support check by way of the child….
  • Telling the child that the other parent is keeping them from seeing the child

http://coparentingwithanarcissist.com/2012/08/parental-alienation-narcissistic-personality-disorder/

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Posted in Childrens Act 1989, Parental Alienation PA

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Frye v Gardner in the Family Courts -PART 1

Parental Alienation Syndrome: Frye v Gardner in the Family Courts (Part 1)

truth

by Jerome H. Poliacoff, Ph.D., P.A., Cynthia L. Greene, Esq., and Laura Smith, Esq

Marriage and Divorce

In 1990 the marriage rate was just double the divorce rate (approximately 2.4 million marriages and 1.2 million divorces). Following the literally millions of divorces during the preceding decade approximately 35% of the minor children in the United States were affected by the divorce of their parents.

Despite the spousal conflicts leading to divorce, almost ninety per cent of divorcing parents are able to reach a mutual agreement regarding custody and visitation with little or no intervention from the Court. Because the other ten per cent of the divorcing parents cannot agree on custody and visitation issues initially, they are likely not to be able to agree on parenting issues in the future. Courts strive to help these families by creating flexible arrangements that will hopefully work as families grow and change.

Unfortunately the adversarial nature of the system that is supposed to provide relief serves only to become an alternate forum for the expression of conflict.

For instance, Sullivan (FN1) studied sixty-one divorcing families with children over a five year period. After five years many of the parents were still fighting and nearly one third of the children continued to be subject to intense bitterness between the parents.

Children become the prize to be won or lost in what often becomes an escalating conflict. And, the courts, often at a loss as to what determination to make for which children, turn to mental health experts for advice.

With increasing caseloads and limited time to assess a divorcing parent’s claim for designation as either residential or responsible parent the courts have responded to simplistic accusations which cast blame on one parent in order to make it easier for the other parent to prevail.

Notable among the allegations made by counsel in representing their client’s claim for “sole ownership” of the “prize” is that of “parental alienation syndrome“. The popularity of such a claim has been enhanced by the prolific writing and public appearances of Richard Gardner, M.D. as originator of this “syndrome” (FN2).

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Shutting Down

Shutting Down. An all too familiar story! I am sure many of us have been through the same. I had to see my adult daughter in secret for many years so her Narcissic father would not find out and mentally punish her.

The damage has been done and left some long term effects!!!

Posted in Family Alienation

Family Relationships Bill is welcome and long overdue

Family Relationships Bill is welcome and long overdue

Ireland should not allow commercial surrogacy exploit women from developing countries

the Child and Family Relationships Bill, when enacted, will comprehensively reform the law relating to families and remove the many anomalies concerning the legal status of children in different kinds of families. Many of the proposals are uncontroversial, and have been long discussed. These include the automatic right to guardianship of unmarried fathers who have had a relationship with the mother up to and after the birth of the child and enhanced rights for grandparents of access to children where parental relationships have broken down. The Bill also proposes measures to deal with situations where estranged parents obstruct contact between their child and the other parent, providing sanctions other than jailing the obstructing parent for contempt of court. The Bill will also provide for the partner or spouse of a child’s parent, who is playing a practical role in caring for that child, to have guardianship rights.

There has been more debate about the proposal that cohabiting couples and civil partners will be eligible to adopt children. At the moment a single person is eligible to adopt, and this has created an anomaly where he or she may be rearing a child within a relationship, but the partner has no parental rights and, if the parent dies or they separate, will legally be a stranger to the child. All adoption decisions will, of course, continue to be based on the best interests of the child and potential adopters will face the same rigorous procedures as before.

Other controversial proposals include those relating to children born through assisted human reproduction. While all such medical procedures are to be regulated in a separate Bill from the Minister for Health, the Child and Family Relationships Bill seeks to deal with some of the problems arising from such procedures. It proposes that where a child is conceived from donor sperm, with the partner’s consent, the mother’s partner can become the child’s legal parent.

http://www.irishtimes.com/opinion/editorial/family-relationships-bill-is-welcome-and-long-overdue-1.2108523

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Websites for children suffering from Parental Alienation

Websites for children suffering from Parental Alienation.

Posted in Parental Alienation PA

Parental Alienation Awareness

The Long Term Effects of Parental Alienation

We found this website attempting to raise awareness of parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting.

http://www.paaousa.org/

Visit the website for more information.

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