Imagine a similar pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.
The effects of Parental Alienation, Parental Child Abduction and retention are very similar to the loss of a child in some other way. However, the bereavement cannot end.
This feeling of bereavement can also affect the child that an abducting/alienating parent claims to love and can have serious emotional scars that can remain for a long period of time – If not for a lifetime.
Yet, parental child abduction and parental alienation remain as silent abuses that the effects never seem to be fully understood unless you or your family have to cope with this trauma yourselves.
Even parents that are lucky enough to have any contact whatsoever with their children, Parental Alienation, where a custodial parent maliciously tries to destroy the relationship between the child and target parent, rips the innocent child from their arms slowly. They witness the suffering. They witness the effects but they feel powerless to do anything about it.
The very sad part of this is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by Parental alienation and also thousands of cases involving parental child abduction but it is only recently that law professionals are starting to sit up and take notice of the traumatic emotional damage that this can cause target families and children.
read more Continue reading “Understanding Stages of Grief applied to Parents Affected by PA”
I started this site over 1 year ago after joining a closed facebook group about Parents Healing from Parental Alienation.
However; I did not anticipate the response and reaction the website would receive. Within days dozens of alienated parents joined the forum and started following the site on a regular basis. We received many, many private messages of extremely sad cases of Parental Alienation from people all over the world. The group consists of over 1000 global members and increases daily!
I am 25 years down the road on my journey and well on the way to healing, but unfortunately for many it is just the beginning. The group offers a great support network for people who do not understand why this is happening and they can share experiences and their stories.
I am happy where I am and my life is busy and full of love. I want to continue to enjoy my life.
I have forgiven all the actions of others involved (but will not forget) and can do no more than that. I hope their lives are happy and full of love and that they can move forward with their own lives and not hang onto the negativity that lead them down this path.
So please use the resources on this site to gain a better understanding of your situation.
I hope every single one of you will reach the happy place where I am at the moment and that many of your children and grandchildren will come back to you one day.
Heres to love, forgiveness and hope.
My 12 year old grandson has reappeared on facebook after 1 year.
I am blocked from his mothers account and have been blocked from him and not had contact for 3 years now.
I have sent a message through Facebook which will go into his other folder in the in box.
I have attached a link to the video i made for him of happy times we had together in the hope that even if his parents block me, he would at least have a chance to glimpse at the YouTube video and remember the happy times.
Have learnt this weekend that he is well under the influence of the alienator!!! (my ex husband).
Do I have to go through another 24 years of alienation now with my grandson, or could I contact his school or social services to tell them whats happening?
My daughter has told me horror stories about her own upbringing with her father!
Do I just stand back and let history repeat itself???
By the time I posted this I have been blocked again
I went in to look at the you tubes stats, the video has been watched – so that’s good news and all I could hope for. Hopefully it will leave him with some very happy memories of when we were last together 3 years ago and before. My ex’s game is to brainwash and wipe out anything good and replace it with a horror story – so result as far as I am concerned, unless of course the parents deleted it first!!!.
Maladaptive efforts to adjust to remarriage can provoke or exacerbate parental alienation syndrome. The remarried parent, the other parent, the stepparent, and the child each may contribute to the disturbance. Underlying dynamics include jealousy, narcissistic injury, desire for revenge, the wish to erase the exspouse from the childs life in order to make room for the stepparent, competitive feelings between the exspouse and stepparent, the new couples attempt to unite around a common enemy and avoid recognition of conflicts in the marriage, the childs attempt to resolve inner conflict, and parent-child boundary violations. These dynamics are discussed and suggestions for treatment are offered.
Divorce Casualties helps parents recognize the often subtle causes of alienation and teaches them how to prevent or minimize its damaging effects. Dr. Darnall gives readers practical, specific techniques for recognizing and reversing the effects of alienation including a self-report inventory to help parents assess their own alienating behavior and exercises to help them understand and modify it.
The choice1 to estrange from family is often portrayed as a simple and selfish act, but my research2 indicates that most people do not choose to estrange lightly or quickly: Estrangement is a process, not an event. People often say that they choose to estrange in order to regroup from stressful relationships or events, often believing that the distance will improve their health and wellbeing. (I shall discuss the causes of estrangement from the perspectives of both parties in another blog.)
People who choose to estrange often report long-term disconnection from the other party, and incidences of unacknowledged neglect, betrayal, and rejection ranging from minor incidents to severe abuse. People often choose to estrange when they feel there is nothing left to do, when their efforts at connection have been thwarted, or when they believe that the other party will not change or acknowledge wrongdoing.
Taken from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/family-conflict/201503/what-we-lose-and-gain-when-family-separates
15 janv. 2015 — From the 12th to the 30th of January 2015, the 18 members of the Committee on the Rights of the Child are in Geneva, Switzerland reviewing Nations compliance with the CRC. Besides the usual yearly request for a chunk percentage of your Nation budget, the Committee insist that Nations implant the CRC into Nations Constitution. Sadly, some countries have already done it!
“In the best interests of the children” is the cornerstone of family law in Canada. As is the principle (with few exceptions) that children benefit from the continued involvement of BOTH their mothers and fathers after divorce.
Yet over the 20 years that I have been a divorce lawyer, I have seen spouses and partners who not only don’t have their children’s best interests at heart, but rather have an overwhelming urge to “get back” at their ex, or ex-to-be spouse — and use their own children to do it.
Continue reading “Dysfunctional Divorce Leads to Dysfunctional Children”