There is a denial of dialogue from adult parents and adult children alike, a misunderstanding of the critical importance of talking. And if dialogue is entertained, family members often can’t hear, validate or accept the ‘separate reality’ of family life that another member may experience. And this is written with no particular reference to mothers, fathers, parents, adult sons or adult daughters in the family. All members are capable of denying the experience of another when it’s not necessarily easy listening.
23 years ago I had a wonderful loving relationship with my 2 children. 6 months after the divorce I was living in the marital home with my son in the village we had lived in for many years. My daughter had recently moved out to live with her father in the next village. It was Mothers Day morning and my ex husband and daughter barged through the front door, I knew it was trouble he never ever came in peace!!! It followed the usual pattern, special day for me so he was determined to ruin it. An argument broke out and as usual my ex started winding the children up and upsetting them. No day was sacred as far as he was concerned, if he wanted trouble he would make sure it happened. From what I remember he was not happy that I was dating someone. Up until that day my son had been very protective of me and we had been very close, my ex was extremely jealous of our relationship and always called him my golden boy in front of our daughter which would wind her up.
I was standing on the staircase and angry words were exchanged, with my ex ranting and raving that their mother had done this and that. My son was extremely upset and agitated when out of the blue he came running down the stairs angry and crying and pushed me down the stairs. The force and momentum pushed me through the glass front door. It all happened in slow motion, like a film. I could not believe what was happening. I stood amongst the broken glass in the porch stunned and shocked. Yes the golden boy, the soft gentle caring 13-year-old child had pushed me through the glass door telling me to go.
I rummaged through my handbag and luckily managed to find my car keys and my cell phone. I drove away from the house stunned and dazed and but unscathed. When well out of sight of my ex I stopped the car to phone my mother. She said you must leave, your situation is getting too dangerous, move out before something terrible happens.
It was the worst day of my life leaving my son, I was never allowed to speak to him or see him again. Whenever I tried there was just anger and abuse for many years.
WHAT A LEGACY MY EX HUSBAND WILL LEAVE BEHIND!!! Two innocent children deprived of the love their mother has for them because of anger,revenge and jealousy. I am still their mother and will always love them.
It was a turning point in my life, it took a few years of heartache but I managed to find true love and turn my life around.
I still keep the old mothers day cards my children made for me at school before the break up which I proudly display on Mothers day. It brings back the happy memories.
My mother is still alive and I treasure each moment I spend with her – Happy Mothers Day Mum xxxxx
We’ll kick off a new webinar series this Tuesday MARCH 10TH at 530PM PDT, 830 EST (2015) with a FREE WEBINAR: WHAT COULD MY ESTRANGED CHILD POSSIBLY BE THINKING? Understanding the 5 Most Common Causes of Estrangement.
Understanding the 5 Most Common Causes of Estrangement – See more at: http://www.drjoshuacoleman.com/2013/09/new-webinar-series-for-estranged-parents/#sthash.GQPQ1vMi.dpuf
“Narcissism is associated with various interpersonal dysfunctions, including an inability to maintain healthy long-term relationships, unethical behavior and aggression,” Emily Grijalva, lead author of the study, said in a statement. “At the same time, narcissism is shown to boost self-esteem, emotional stability and the tendency to emerge as a leader. By examining gender differences in narcissism, we may be able to explain gender disparities in these important outcomes.”
For the study, researchers examined more than 355 journal articles, dissertations, manuscripts and technical manuals, and studied gender differences in the three aspects of narcissism: leadership/authority, grandiose/exhibitionism and entitlement. They found the widest gap in entitlement.
Two contrasting child custody bills came before a Senate committee Tuesday, with one measure saying the focus of judicial decisions must be solely on the best interests of the child and the other stating that judges should begin with a presumption that the estranged parents be given joint legal and shared physical custody of the child.
Mom Says She Doesn’t Know Why Her Daughter Hasn’t Spoken To Her In 7 Years (VIDEO)
Warning signs among the relatives
If you hear about any of the following regarding your partner’s blood relatives, pay attention:
• Criminal behavior
• Abusive behavior
• Domestic violence
• Any kind of violence
• Diagnosis of antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder, or psychopathy
• Multiple short-term romantic partners
• Scams or other financial crimes
• Drug or alcohol addictions
• Child molestation
• Prison sentences
Of course, it is very possible for a person with a normal ability to love and a conscience to be born into a family that has psychopaths. In fact, many Lovefraud readers, who are themselves empathetic, have realized that one or both of their parents are psychopaths.
This post is continued from Part 1.
2. Refusing to Ask for Help
Since a narcissist never wants to be inconvenienced by you or your needs, any time you ask for help you will be turned down, unless they are about to ask you for a favour or are trying to get back on your good side. So, instead of saying, “no”, they attack and make it because “you are too needy”, “you can’t do anything yourself”, “you are too demanding”, “you aren’t smart enough to figure it out on your own” or whatever attack they prefer. In other words, they use your personal vulnerabilities as a way of manipulating you into doing what they want.
Love and attention are given in exchange for other things in a relationship with a narcissist. “If you don’t make dinner, I won’t even speak to you or acknowledge your presence”. This may…
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