Parental Alienation

Lord Justice Peter Jackson:
Introduction
1. This appeal concerns two children, Gina (11) and Frances (8), as I will call them.  They live with their mother, who separated from their father six years ago.  Since then, they have seen very little of him, Gina’s last contact being in 2014 and Frances’s in 2016.  For this state of affairs the father blames the mother and the court system.  HHJ Handley, sitting in the Family Court at Northampton on 2 July 2018, did not agree.  At the end of proceedings that had been running continuously since the parents’ separation, he refused the father’s application for orders that the children should live with him or have contact with him and prevented him from bringing further applications without permission for three years.  He found that the father himself had become the leading author of what is on any view a great misfortune for these children and their parents.  The father now appeals.

The background
2. The parents, now in their 40s, lived together for some years but separated in May 2013, when the mother left the family home with the children and went to her parents’ home.  Until then the children, aged just 5 and 2, had enjoyed a good relationship with their father.  The mother had been prescribed anti-depressants from the time of Gina’s birth, and she remains on a high dose.

3. In the month of the separation the mother applied for injunctions and for a residence order.  She made allegations of domestic abuse against the father, consisting of sexually inappropriate conduct, controlling behaviour, verbal abuse, shouting and swearing at her in front of the children, throwing food at her, kicking the dog and shouting and swearing at the oldest child.  The father made partial admissions but said other allegations were exaggerated.  He nonetheless did not oppose a non-molestation order and agreed to move out of the home.

4. Since that time there has been uninterrupted litigation about the children and other matters, so much so that the papers before the Judge filled thirteen files.  For the purpose of this appeal it is only necessary to chart the main features of the sad history.  I shall do so in three stages: May 2013 to July 2015; July 2015 to April 2017; April 2017 to date. Continue reading “G (Children: Intractable Dispute)” →

Despite our constant mantra that we have no money due to the unrelenting false accusations, court appearances and lies made by the alienator, she continued to press the issue.

But let’s face it.

It was a game to the alienator.

She didn’t care about Mariam getting braces.

She cared about having control.

She cared about trying to make us miserable.

She cared about winning.

Mariam was always a driven student and an incredible band performer.  The last 5 years she lived with us, her life revolved around band.  They practiced countless hours all year long and for that won first place in almost every single competition they entered.

But the alienator was about being the boss. Continue reading “Fighting a Narcissistic Parental Alienator” →

With the recent headlines on the Neurauter case in Rochester, NY, parental alienation is finally making the news. Sadly, it took the most extreme of alienation cases, a father convincing his daughter to help him murder her mother, in order for parental…

Source: Parental Alienation in the News & More: Videos

The actions of the New Jersey trial judge seem radical, even dangerous. However, the psychologist who first identified parental alienation as a disorder, Richard Gardner, suggested that the only effective means to undo the damage of alienation was to place the child in the custody of the parent from whom the child was alienated.

As you listen to the actual conversations, the Judge’s conduct seems capricious.  But, you need to listen further, including a later conversation with a judge from Florida who describes just how frustrating it is to manage cases where a child says he or she wants no relationship with a parent.  These are not parents who have abused a child or otherwise engaged in criminal conduct.  One also senses that the parents in the reported case were not emotionally “out there.”  To this day, a decade after the custody case was concluded, the children report they are still scarred by the experience of losing contact with the parent they were most connected with.  The case also recalls the conversation between Alec Baldwin and his daughter Ireland where Baldwin asserts that Ireland’s mother, Kim Bassinger is destroying his relationship with his child. Continue reading “Parental Alienation; Does It Exist? Can It Be Repaired?” →

This review of research and case law on the topic of parental alienation
aims to provide an evidence base to guide practice for Cafcass Cymru.
The notion of parental alienation was first recognised by Wallerstein and
Kelly in 1976, but it was Gardner’s assertion in 1987 that parental
alienation was a syndrome, that is, a mental condition suffered by
children who had been alienated by their mothers, which has led to
debate over the last 30 years. However, despite a wealth of papers
written by academics, legal and mental health professionals, there is a
dearth of empirical evidence on the topic.
Research in this area is dominated by only a few authors who appear
polarised in their acceptance or rejection of the nature and prevalence
of parental alienation. Such variability means that there is no
commonly accepted definition of parental alienation and insufficient
scientific substantiation regarding the identification, treatment and longterm effects (Saini, Johnston, Fidler and Bala, 2016). Without such
evidence, the label parental alienation syndrome (PAS) has been
likened to a ‘nuclear weapon’ that can be exploited within the
adversarial legal system in the battle for child residence (Schepard,
2001). Hence, Meier (2009) and others (e.g. Bala, Hunt and McCarney,
2010; Johnston, Walters and Oleson, 2005; Lee and Oleson, 2005;
Clarkson and Clarkson, 2006) have emphasised the need to distinguish
parental alienation from justifiable estrangement due to abuse, violence
or impaired parenting. and where parental alienation claims can be
far more often used in practice to deny real abuse than to
actually reduce psychological harm to children
(Meier, 2009:250) Continue reading “Review of research and case law on parental alienation” →

Building on existing guidance, the Cafcass Child Impact Assessment Framework has been developed to help our Family CourtAdvisers (FCAs) identify how children are experiencing parental separation and to assess the impact of different case factors on them, including parental alienation.

All of our assessments focus on what is happening for each child. In our work, we try to help parents and the court understand the impact of the separation and adult behaviours on individual children and what they need to recover. This requires the support of both parents, who are encouraged to exercise their parental responsibility wherever safe and beneficial for the child.

The starting point of assessment is always the identification of risk, which includes risk of emotional harm, which may amount to a child protection issue. We recognise that exposure to alienating behaviours can be emotionally harmful to children.

Where alienating behaviours feature in a case we are involved with, our practitioners will use their professional judgement to assess whether it is safe and in the best interests of the child to have contact with one or both parents, taking into account risk factors, evidence-based assessments, diversity issues, and the child’s resilience and vulnerabilities. We then report our recommendations to the court for the judge to consider before they make their final decision about what contact the child will have with either parent. Continue reading “How do we deal with parental alienation?” →

How Abusers Get Away with Their Behavior People with strong narcissistic, psychopathic, or sociopathic tendencies, abusers, manipulators, and otherwise harmful people tend to hurt others. Sometimes they do it overtly, even proudly, and in other cases…

On top of that, people with malignant narcissistic tendencies can be really smart and cunning. They become experts at gaslighting, deception, and manipulation, so much so that they confuse others by their behavior but no one can quite put their finger on why. Many bystanders don’t even care about the truth. These kinds of people flourish in today’s outrage culture since many people are lightning quick to find a reason to feel angry and act out, and consequently they are easily controlled and manipulated by those seeking power over others.

As a result of all of those and other factors, hurtful people sometimes get away with their behavior with no negative consequences. Or do they?

What’s a Perpetrator’s Punishment?

Source: What’s a Narcissist’s Punishment?

What should parents do, whose children manifest a severe degree of PA?

Most authors recommend that alienated parents persistently but gently try to stay in touch with their children, who refuse to have contact with them. That might mean once or twice a year sending a card, a short note, or a small gift. It might mean sending a greeting through an intermediary, such as a friend or relative who was not rejected by the child. It probably is a good idea to save copies of those cards and notes, since they may be intercepted by the alienating parent. There are anecdotes of reunions – years later – when the adult child realizes how much effort the alienated parent put into maintaining their relationship. Continue reading “What should parents do, whose children manifest a severe degree of PA?” →

What happens when children who experience PA grow up?

There are several possible outcomes for “adult children of PA.” Some children remain convinced throughout their lives that the parent they rejected is evil and dangerous. Some adult children are influenced by therapists or close friends or new spouses to reach out to the parent they rejected many years earlier. That may lead to tentative and then substantive reunification. Some adult children decide spontaneously – because of changed life circumstances – to touch base with the previously rejected parent. For example, a young adult might go away to college and decide to learn more about the parent he had avoided for years. Some adult children might learn about PA from friends or the media, and they realize that is what happened to them. Continue reading “What happens when children who experience PA grow up?” →

THE THERAPY CRISIS – Each year, millions of people enter therapy hoping and believing they’ll be helped―but studies show that many aren’t being helped. In fact, some patients find they are struggling with more emotional problems than before. Too many people end up stuck in therapy year after year, for no good reason at all.

THE REVOLUTION – Richard Zwolinski, a licensed mental health counselor and expert on anxiety and addiction, is a watchdog for professional ethics and patient rights. For more than twenty years he has been helping patients receive the best, most effective care for the least cost in a reasonable amount of time. In Therapy Revolution, Zwolinski puts the therapists on the couch and analyzes their performances. He exposes harmful therapy practices
and shows you exactly what you need to do to find a therapist who is ethical and competent. In this solution-oriented call to action, Zwolinski reveals:

• What some therapists don’t want you to know
• The 2 essential Therapy Tools that every effective therapist must use―and why you should leave a therapist who refuses to use them
• How you can find, interview, and hire the therapist that’s right for you
• The red flags that indicate therapy isn’t working―and what you need to do if a therapist breaks the rules
• The 5 fundamental ingredients in the Successful Therapy Formula

THE STEP-BY-STEP SOLUTION – Chock-full of shocking, real-life patient interviews, self-assessment questionnaires, numerous checklists that lead to therapy success, therapist interview questions, and more, Therapy Revolution exposes the pitfalls of bad therapy and shows you what good therapy should look like, all while offering practical solutions for making therapy work for you.

A licensed mental health counselor specializing in the treatment of anxiety and addiction, Zwolinski (with help from coauthor C.R.) steps back to take a broad view of the therapy industry, and the growing problem of patients caught in the “therapy trap” by unproductive, inept or unethical therapists who “wallop” a client with inaccurate or exaggerated diagnoses in order keep that client coming back. In this guide to hiring “a great therapist,” Zwolinski reminds patients that they should be “savvy consumers” when considering therapy, just as they would for any other important expense. He suggests a preliminary phone interview to check out prospective therapists’ credentials, references, fee, approach, and other details. He also suggests that, after a few appointments, a patient work with his therapist to develop a written treatment plan, including a proper medical diagnosis (which can be looked up in a professional reference like the DSM IV), a general time-frame for the length of therapy, and agreed-upon “goals.” Zwolinski’s provocative call for a “therapy revolution” is authoritative and instructive, fleshing out the common wisdom stating patients are their own best advocates, and must be proactive in all aspects of healthcare. Continue reading “Find Help, Get Better, and Move On without Wasting Time or Money” →