Mothering is generally considered women’s major source of identity and satisfaction. But mothering can also bring misery when children develop anti-social behaviors. The rather limited literature on this topic refers to by the term “parent abuse,” with mothers reportedly the usual victims. The present study analyzed the types of abuse by adolescent and adult children reported by women in a community sample. The data come from in-depth life review interviews with 60 women aged between 40 and 65 when initially interviewed, and re-interviewed 5 years later. All women lived in the lower-income western suburbs of Sydney, Australia. Two major categories of abuse were identified: acting-out (including physical attacks and threats) and psychological. Seventy percent of perpetrators were male. Mothers’ explanations for the behavior included family dysfunction, child’s personality, child’s mental illness, social and cultural influences, and gender power imbalance. Strategies used to handle the behaviors were related to these explanations. Compared to older mothers, those aged in their 40s were likely to see the problem as belonging to the child rather than themselves, and were more proficient in accessing community services. Continue reading “Abuse of Mothers by Adolescent and Adult Children”
Crime really does run in the family, according to the findings of a 35-year-long study.
Researchers at Cambridge University’s Institute of Criminology found that if children had a convicted parent by the time they were 10 that was the “best predictor” of them becoming criminal and anti- social themselves.
Half of all convictions notched up by those in the study were accounted for by 6 per cent of the families while 10 per cent of the families involved accounted for nearly two-thirds of all convictions. Continue reading “Children follow convicted parents into crime”
The most difficult social conflict usually involves passive-aggressive (PA) behavior. The reason it is more distressing than even aggressive behavior is because it causes the recipient to be doubtful of him or her self. When someone is aggressive towards you, their intention is clear and it is easier to make a decision such as “I need to steer clear of this person” or “I need to report this behavior.” However, the purpose of passive-aggressive behavior is for the aggressor to avoid responsibility for their actions. PA behavior can easily be denied or blame shifted: “I didn’t mean it the way you took it” or “You’re being too sensitive” or “You’re just trying to get me in trouble.”
As a result, PA behavior cannot be addressed in the same way you might handle aggressive behavior. When managing PA people you need to be aware of the underlying purpose of the behavior so that you can respond in a way that prevents them from succeeding at their agenda. The less likely they are to achieve their goal, the more likely you will see a reduction in their behavior. Read more… Continue reading “Disrespectful Attitude from Adult Child”
The issue of power and control is one which underpins the dynamic between parents in parental alienation and it is coercive control in its varying guises, which causes a child to enter into the infantile defence mechanism which is called psychological splitting. When a child has entered into this state of mind, it is impossible to cajole, persuade or use generic therapy to persuade them out of it. This is because what lies beneath the use of the defence mechanism is primal fear. When a child has entered this state of mind it is because the biological imperative to survive has become dominant. This is only ever seen in situations where children are, at depth, afraid. This fear can derive from those things which a parent is doing to the child to ensure that the child is aligned to them strongly and it can derive from the fear of deep…
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Alienating Disciple/Minions/Enablers (AE) – These are the witnesses to the obstructive alienating tactics of the alienating parent that choose to ignore what is being done. At worst these individuals actively participate and assist the alienating parent.
Stop Feeling Sorry for Yourself!
Say Yes More
Follow Your Bliss
Learn to Let Go
Do Random Acts of Kindness
Happiness Is Only Ever Now
Be More Social
Have a Dream
Enjoy Simple Pleasures
Accept What Is
Laugh, Dance, Smile