Good morning everyone
This will be my last post for some time to come.
Someone posted the question recently “What would you have done differently?” which got me thinking!
1) I should have listened to my Doctor of 12 years who recommended that I should take the children away from the marital home and move far enough away for my ex husband (who he knew well) not to mentally abuse any more. He warned me that he would have an impact on the children in later years witnessing his behaviour.
2) Not to have paid the outstanding 2000 pounds arrears on the mortgage my ex refused to pay. I had to use the last of my savings to stop the house being repossessed. I still ended up homeless!
3) To have listened and believed his long-term friend from Harpenden who warned me what would happen, and to watch the knives in my back.
4) Not to listen to so-called village friends (who I had known for over 10 years) telling me to stay with my ex and put up with it because I had a very comfortable lifestyle. (How shallow) This is what the so-called friend decided to do many years ago.
5) Not to get solicitors, lawyers and social workers involved as they don’t understand the workings of a Narcissist using Parental Alienation against you for financial gain. They are only interested in making money!
6) Once you realise that you are dealing with Parental Alienation, read, learn and get expert help from people who know about PAS.
7) Do not believe that someone you have been married to for 14 years will do the decent thing, let you see the children, pay some maintenance until you find work etc. I was very naive and not dealing with a decent person!!!
8) Believe in yourself! Despite being told I was unworthy, unloved by everyone, and was not capable of getting a job and looking after myself, I managed to get a very good job, purchase a house and meet a wonderful man.
9) My biggest regret of all was not to leave him and take the children with me sooner. I was capable of looking after all three of us emotionally and financially. I am positive that I would have done a much better job than him, and my children would have been mentally and emotionally in a better place now, well equipped to deal with the world.
10) Drop every friend who has done nothing to help you gain contact with your children – they are not friends.
11) Do not let a narcissist stop the communications. Do every thing you can using letters, email, social media, phone, text etc to let your children/grandchildren know that you will always be their mother/grandmother and that you will always love them and be there for them.
Off to plan my pilgrimage – 4-6 weeks – http://whc.unesco.org/en/list/669