Attributes of Unhealthy Shame:
Unhealthy Shame, (or what Bradshaw calls Toxic Shame) is the unconscious demon that undermines the individual’s self-esteem, self-worth, personal power, spontaneous action, and joyous spirit. All of which produces intense self-scrutiny, leaving a man with an all pervasive sense that he is defective and worthless as a human being. When the “self “considers itself to be basically flawed, the individual experiences excruciating pain and fears within their self, making them want to hide their flawed self from the world. Terrified that they will be found out, the person will goes to great lengths to guard against exposing their inner self not only from others, but also from their own self. Afraid that he/she is not good enough, not smart enough, not intelligent enough, the person becomes a slave to their own incessant inner critic. As a slave they are no longer free to communicate their thoughts and words in an open honest manner. All the time their incessant internal voices are snapping at their heels like hungry dogs, making sure that they rehearse every word before they dare to speak. These overzealous internal voices function for only one purpose, to save the person’s vulnerable self from any form of criticism or humiliation. Unable to operate from their true self, whom they believe cannot be trusted; they abandon their authentic self in favor of a persona that is a false self. Sadly for a narcissist, it is this false self that houses their pathological narcissism. This causes the narcissist’s False Self to looks to the outside for fulfillment and validation from narcissistic supply, because they cannot trust their own perceived interior flawed self. This leads to a spiritual bankruptcy, because rather than just Being, the narcissist is dominated by doing and achieving.
Unhealthy Shame and Its Recognition in Narcissistic Personality Disorder:
Unhealthy shame leads the narcissist to suffer a sense of smallness, worthlessness, and powerlessness in their relationship with others. The shame can be triggered whenever he/she feels exposed (whether shamed by own self, or by another), whether it is real or imagined makes little difference to them. Being “seen” is at the centre of the narcissist’s shame. Their internal images of being “looked at” are so distressing to them, that they wish to disappear out of view when there is the hint of any shame attaching to them, and if they cannot escape then you are likely to experience their almighty rage erupting.
go to the website to read more:- Is There a Relationionship Between Narcissism and Shame?