Posted in #Alienators will be alienated, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Personality of Alienators, Surrogate Alienators, The alienators "tools of trade".

Alienators are never wrong

Continuing from the theme of my last post, what’s hardest for me to understand is, after all the long list of dirty, nasty things he did and said to me, how the hell did I succumb to the brainwashing?

I’m an intelligent person. I’m genuinely bright, but that man savaged my self-confidence and always managed to blame it on other people. Again, I’m not saying my mum was a perfect parent; she was far from it. Sometimes she was even cruel, but most of the time she did her best. He made me doubt my own mind. When I felt uncomfortable about him insisting on me going swimming during puberty or deliberately starting intimate and inappropriate conversations, I’d say so – but somehow, he was never wrong. I was. He was never wrong, never at fault, never to blame, and always had a million excuses as to why it’s your own fault that you feel uncomfortable because you misread him drawing pictures of your breasts/got embarrassed by him using the word “erection” during a game of scrabble with two teenagers/kept ornaments of men with large penises around the house.

When you’re consistently told something – in this case that I was imagining his bad behaviour – it sticks eventually. I feel so stupid for falling for this. I can forgive myself for believing in my dad as most kids do. I can forgive myself for not knowing he is a nutter when I was a teenager. What I can’t fathom is how I allowed myself to believe in him as an adult?! I’m currently on my second university degree so I’m not uneducated. My offspring fares excellently – thriving, in fact. No criminal convictions for anyone in my house. I’m a good person. I contribute. I have responsibilites and respect from my friends. And yet, I fell for brainwashing until I was 35. I feel utterly ridiculous.

Unless I’m wrong, I’ve answered my own question. Brainwashing overrides your confidence in your own opinions. When someone you (secretly fear and) look up to and think is your friend builds you a world view from six years old and no one challenges it, when that person insists that they are always right and know better because they are older and male and no one corrects him, it imprints on your mind, despite the evidence of your own eyes and ears, despite your own best judgement, despite your instincts.

http://parentallyalienated.blogspot.fr/2007/10/alienators-are-never-wrong.html

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Posted in Surrogate Alienators

Surrogate Alienators

There are others that conribute, directly and or indirectly to parental alienation hence child abuse by way of supporting the alienator in different ways

Extended family, friends

Close family members such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc and even friends by supporting the alienator when it becomes clear to them just what is going on are in fact supporting alienation.

Even if a family member becomes suspicious of the alienator it is in fact in the children’s best interests for them to question what is happening, if they do not then they themselves by default are contributing to the abuse.

Supporting another person at a time when they need support is commendable, but supporting them to the point that morals and truth become a casualty is just plain bad support in anyone’s view.

We all have a duty to stand up for the truth and for the children in their best interests, if we don’t do just that then we are supporting parental alienation and saying that we don’t care that the children are being abused.

http://parentalalienation.com.au/node/6

Cloud 10

Posted in Surrogate Alienators

Surrogate Alienators

Cloud 10

There are others that conribute, directly and or indirectly to parental alienation hence child abuse by way of supporting the alienator in different ways

Extended family, friends

Close family members such as grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins etc and even friends by supporting the alienator when it becomes clear to them just what is going on are in fact supporting alienation.

Even if a family member becomes suspicious of the alienator it is in fact in the children’s best interests for them to question what is happening, if they do not then they themselves by default are contributing to the abuse.

Supporting another person at a time when they need support is commendable, but supporting them to the point that morals and truth become a casualty is just plain bad support in anyone’s view.

We all have a duty to stand up for the truth and for the children in their best interests, if we don’t do just that then we are supporting parental alienation and saying that we don’t care that the children are being abused.

Legal Practioners

It is commonly thought by many that some practioners ‘drag out” proceedings for financial gain and to this even the courts aggree on in that the more conflict there is in any situation, the more the children suffer.

There have been instances where it should (would) have been plainly obvious to the practioner that their client is lying re allegations of abuse, another factor that leads to substantially more court time resulting in more conflict.

It is thought by many that some Practioners even subtly promote the concept of false allegations of abuse to their clients as a way of “winning” in custody and property trials.

What is amazing is that all legal practioners are firstly officers of the court bound by rules and ethics but some do flaunt their responsibilities to the courts in that if a practioner knows there is a chance or becomes confident that the client is lying (false allegtions etc) then they must consider their own position.

For example, if a legal practioner swears an affidavit that they know contains false information then they can be in serious trouble themselves.

They are also bound by “rules of evidence” but some do not hand up evidence (flaunting the rules again) that would have seen matters concluded earlier than otherwise, that would most likely not have been beneficial to their clients and or their own bennefit.

Bad practioners bring ill repute to their proffession and are in fact supporters of parental alienation.

Independant reporters to the courts

These range from family report writers to councillors etc in that many do not take the time or do not have the time to investigate properly and even then may prefer to take a softer position by “sitting on the fence”.

What is needed to fight alienation is the truth as to what is going on but many do not even seem to be able to get to the truth and some even when they do, do not want to spell it out to the court.

This is not so apparent in highly qualified professionals like child psychologists as they are far more trained and experienced in getting to the truth and less likely to sit on the fence.

The family law courts and the family law system

This in itself is also guilty by way of default in that when allegations are made the system demands that steps be taken to ensure the children’s safety first usually by restricting the targeted parent to minimalised supervised contact only and whilst it is difficult to disagree with those steps, it still gives way to less time with the targeted parent and leaves the alienator feeling that they are getting away with it all so they in many cases escalate their efforts.

Judges who either do not get to the truth for whatever reason or are or become biased in some way and make orders that favour the alienator over the targeted are in fact supporting the alienator in alienation, think about that one.

The family law court systems leaves a lot to be desired when it comes to not only recognising alienation but actually doing something about it.

I have personally seen one case where the alienator was shown to be as guilty as hell and yet the judge did absolutely nothing about it and in fact made excuse’s for the alienators behaviour and then orders that gave way to the alienation to continue.

The system and the courts here in australia are in need of radical reform, there would not be too many that would disagree with that, but reform does not come easily when legislators are either politically motivated against certain reforms or are just too busy to get interested in the real future of this country and that is our children.

http://www.parentalalienation.com.au/surrogate.html