Money Money Money

Money Money Money

I have received many questions from alienated parents asking what would it take to reverse PA after many, many years?

Sadly I cannot answer that, I can only tell you from my own experiences.

My daughter has been in and out of my life over the past 15 years, more out than in. I have missed all the significant events in her life, birth of grandchildren etc, birthdays and Christmas’s. She use to blame her ex and her father but I have discovered recently that it was her own choice and no one else’s. When I once asked her “what if one day you all In love with someone who has nothing” Her reply was “that will never ever happen, I will never stay in a relationship with someone who does not have loads of money” Speaks volumes………

When I asked her why my son had not seen me for over 30 years her response was “he will talk to you if you give him 10,000 pound”. Even if I win the lottery this is never going to happen.

On every single occasion I was lured in by her fake persona, believing that she really wanted a relationship with me, and on every single occasion the same thing would happen. Eventually after luring me into a false sense of security it would come. The guilt trip, asking for money to pay debts, horses, bills, etc etc. Immediately after paying she would dump me, just like everyone else she knew. I fell for this several times over the years. 

Why did I believe I was any different from anyone else she she used and abused??

So after many years of no contact, and being raised by her money orientated father, who is exactly the same, why would either of them be any different?

I have been raised to believe that relationships, friendship and love are built on mutual respect and trust, money has nothing to do with it. But everyone is different

So my advice would be to be true to yourself, do no try to buy their love. Live a good honest life free from the shackles of Parental Alienation.

Focus on the people who do want to be in your life, embrace the good.

Live you best life.

Linda – Always By Your Side

Photo by Alexander Mils on Pexels.com

Natural Born Liars – The Yo Yo effect

May was in and out of her mothers life like a Yo Yo!!

After not bothering for many years May decided to pay her mother a visit when she was 18. She wanted money for medical reasons, her mother happily gave her the money then was very quickly dumped.

The next occcassion was she needed money for her horse, again mother coughed up like parents do, and yes you guessed it dumped again.

This pattern continued for several years.

There was even one occasion when May turned up at her grandmothers house escorted by the Police for shoplifting, claiming that’s where she lived. grandmother told the officer she had not seen her for at least 10 years.

Spain – May wanted her things furniture and belongings shipped from Spain when she left for Australia. Mother paid 2,800 for shipment to her home where she had storage. May told everyone that mother had stolen the furniture and belongings after dumping her yet again!!!

Australia – wanted money to invest in a horse that was having a prize winning foal. Discovered years later the horse was on loan and not even her horse. Mother never had a return on her investment and May knew she wouldn’t. – not seen for several years after.

Bournemouth – May needed money again to pay huge livery bills she had run up, mother paid again and was swiftly dumped.

Spain to UK – Mays horses and the family dog had been left in Spain and again May had run up huge debts even though her husband was giving her plenty of money to pay for her extravagant lifestyle of nannies, cleaners etc etc. When she had bled her husband dry, and her father refused to pay, it was mother who put her hand in her pocket and paid for her and her daughters horse and all the kennel fees for the dog to be returned to the UK. She told her friends she had paid for it!!!!

Yes you know how the story goes…….

USE AND ABUSE NO MORE –

Mother had had enough – she was no longer desperate to see her daughter just to be financially abused over and over again.

Mother did not take it personally because it was the way May was with everyone who came into her life!

Mother felt sorry for anyone who came Mays way, they would be left broke and high and dry.

Linda

Natural Born Liars – Con Artists

May had been on benefits her whole life, from the day she left school at 14 up until the age of 42. Its the only thing she knew how, its the only thing Kram had taught her over the years, how to scam the system!

Everyone boyfriend she ever had, had been chosen by Kram, someone he could manipulate and fleece, similar to the girlfriends he chose. Their philosophy in life was why work for money when you can extort money out of others who loved you, and milk the system.

May decided to open yet another fake company injecting BOTOX and fillers. She had been there before many years ago back in Bournemouth, where she befriended a Turkish man posing to be a BOTOX doctor. They worked together in her salon pulling in unsuspecting clients. He botched so many people who ended up in hospital, he ended up in prison.

This is what they did well, Kram and May worked as a team befriending flying monkeys and using them to do their dirty work. The flying monkeys would often end up in trouble and Kram and May would feign innocence to the authorities walking away unscathed and Scott free, laughing all the way to the bank. May and her sidekick Kram always left a trail of devastation behind them, it was their game plan.

Pseudologia fantastica – they invented the word!

USE AND ABUSE.

Linda

Natural Born Liars – cruelty

May often accused Kram her father of being cruel to animals, she said during her time in Florida when fleeing from the police and the false statement about the burglary, that Kram her father had starved her dog she had left behind. She reported that the neighbours had videod Kram throwing the dog outside whilst having several different women at her house. She said over the years that Kram had damaged and harmed her horses, and on one occasion had one of her horses put down whilst she was on holiday with a boyfriend in Spain.

Kram had lived with May and her husband for several years pretending to all his flying monkeys that he owned the house when in fact it was actually rented and it was Mays husband who paid all the bills. When Mays husband finally got fed up with all Krams promiscuous behaviour constantly bringing different women to the house in front of his children he finally decided to throw him out.

Thats when all the trouble started, dead pheasants hanging outside the front door, abusive phone calls and texts.

This is when May and Kram decided to plot the burglary, if Kram could not enjoy the comfortable parasitic lifestyle at someone else’s expense he would make Mays husband pay in other ways

Natural Born Liars – part deux – click here for more

Natural Born Liars – cont……………

Edan was conspicuous by his absence. He had not seen his mother for over 25 years. He had very little to do with his father, maybe just a couple of hours at Christmas and so the story goes.

Edan was the complete opposite of May, quiet, studious, intelligent, stayed in the background. Maybe he had little choice over the years with May always grasping the attention and being the ultimate drama queen.

Every birthday and Christmas his mother had sent cards and had fond memories of the loving child he once was. The mother was told conflicting stories.


1) that every card she had ever sent had been burnt without even opening.

version 2

2) Every card had been read and saved!!!

Either way, she had never forgotten.

Both Edan and May both knew deep down in their hearts the truth, that their mother had always loved them equally. But nothing could repair the damage created by Kram throughout the years.

Edan was now 44 years old and May 42, they were old enough to make their own choices in life. Their mother hoped they would be good choices and that they were both happy. Sadly May appeared hell bent on destroying any happiness anyone had, she lived for money and revenge. After years of being drip fed hate and anger, Toxic blood ran through her veins, it was her normal, it was what she had been indoctrinated with over the years.

Their mother had learned to live with the situation like many others reading this on this website. This was her normal over the past 35 years, living her life in the best possible way she knew. Helping others to come to terms with their situation.

Linda – Always by your side

Natural Born Liars – Part Deux

Natural Born Liars – Part Deux

May and Kram thought they had plotted the perfect crime!

May had found a new potential partner, Kram had checked him out and beleived his family to have plenty of money so it would free him of any expense from May and her expensive habits.

They had staged a burglary using Mays admirer as an accomplice. Whilst May was taking the children to school the burglars entered the house and tied up Tam her husband and threatened him with blackmail. Strangely they knew were the alarm was and the safe, and they were familiar with all the jewellery and seemed to know much more than the average burglar!!!

May cam back from dropping the kids in school, saw her husband Tam tied to the chair being threatened with a knife, so decided to go out for 45 minutes and make a few phone calls before calling the police.

As usual Kram (who was lacking in emotional intelligence) had got all his facts completely wrong.

To cut a long story short, the whole plot went completely wrong after Krams miscalculations, so Kram went to the Police to try and frame Tam and shift the blame.

  • May blamed Kram and said it was all his idea and dumped him like a hot potato.
  • Kram blamed the new boyfriend and said it was his idea but still had to pay the burglars for attempting it.
  • Tam knew exactly what was going on, and who had arranged what, and had the evidence to prove it.

May jumped on plane to Florida and called her mother for the fist time in years. Mother thought it was just another one of her fantasy stories to get some attention until she received a photo of May on the plane.

It was the first time ever her mother had ever seen any emotion on Mays face.

The emotion was sheer fear?????

To be continued.

Linda – Always by your side

HOW LOW DO YOU GO?

JUST TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, sick of still hearing it, does it ever end???

Still hearing malicious stories people have recently been told.

Well here we are 28 years on and still it goes on, it never ends, the pathological lying and the deceit.

  • Lies about my mother who died 3 years ago and is not here to defend herself, lies about her character, stories about her generosity, charity and community work twisted into a sick story.
  • Lies about infidelity – I did not date anyone until the marriage was officially over and I received the decree absolute. My son knows this because he was still in the matrimonial home with me after the divorce!
  • Lies about me being mentally unstable and in his words “A complete nutter”, find this one quite funny because I nearly was 28 years ago!!!!. Thankfully after years of therapy discovered I was quite normal.
  • Lies about paying for a property for me and my husband after the divorce.
  • Lies about money and the divorce settlement.
    • Producing fake business accounts to the court to reduce my share of the property. (Still have the documents for evidence when my children finally realize the truth)
    • Producing a document from a local health clinic saying he could no longer work because of a back injury, apparently he would end up in a wheel chair!!!!!! Again to reduce my share. (Still have the document for proof if ever needed)

So just to set the story straight here is the final bill out of 140,000 pounds back in 1994 after 8 years of fighting to see my children. (I still have not seen my son in 30 years)

 

Yes after 8 years of fighting and 14 years of marriage, I finally received 6,392.00 pounds 23.79% of the total proceeds.

At least I got something which is more than his last girlfriend received after 12 years of being together. She is now hiding out in Spain, probably along with the many others who managed to escape!

Met the ex girlfriend on a recent trip to Spain and she was still terrified at the thought of seeing him again!!!!!

Speaks Volumes. How many others? Who Knows? Who Cares?

Linda

Achievements

In these troubled times we need to focus on the positive and look back at how far we have moved forward.

Take some time out to sit back and reflect of how much you have achieved since leaving your toxic ex behind.
How many years he held me back!!!!

Here is my own list and its still in progress:-
Age 19 to 30

  • Had 2 beautiful children
  • Renovated 4 properties whilst living in them
  • Spent my time at home looking after the children

Age 30 to 40

  • Finally managed to get rid of the ex after 14 years!!!!!
  • Went to live In Switzerland, worked to save enough to buy a house starting from scratch with no savings or investments (came back to UK after 3 months)
  • Got back on the career ladder after not being allowed to work for 12 years
  • Secured a permanent position for a company in Milton Keynes
  • Met my very best long time friend through work
  • Managed to save enough to obtain a mortgage and purchase my own house.
  • Went to college whilst working and obtained further qualifications
  • Promoted to senior position based in Sweden/Zurich, traveled between UK, Sweden and Zurich
  • Met my current husband and moved in together
  • Purchased a brand new MGF with my bonus from work
  • Wonderful holidays in USA, Yellowstone Park, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, California, Colorado, Texas, Mexico, The Maldives and the Caribbean.
  • Champagne Balloon flight across Buckingham for 40th Birthday

Age 40 to 50

  • Completed several training courses in HR and Training.
  • Made redundant and started my own IT business.
  • Secured many IT contracts with local companies.
  • Got married to the love of my life in Las Vegas, honeymooned in the Grand Canyon.
  • Sold my own house for a substantial profit.
  • Sold our marital home and moved to France.
  • Purchased our joint dream home in France .
  • Took up photography.
  • Met a Reiki Master who taught me Reiki and obtained my Master Reiki Certificate after 3 years study.
  • Started doing Pilates.
  • Started swimming 100 lengths everyday (only in the summer).
  • Purchased a telescope and studied the stars.
  • Bought our 2 beautiful golden Labradors.
  • Met lots of new interesting friends.
  • Started an online business in France.
  • Continued to explore France, practice Reiki,enjoy life and relax.
  • Had my 50th birthday in the Florida Keys

Age 50 to 60

  • Retired from work.
  • Started studying again.
  • Created this website and joined forces with other alienated parents.
  • Was asked to be a co founder of NAAP National Association of Alienated Parents.
  • Walked the Camino de Santiago Santiago de Compostela.
  • Had my first flying lesson .
  • Had my 60th Birthday in Phi Phi Island Thailand, 3 days in Bangkok.
  • Did my PADI certificate in Thailand, still to be completed.

compo1
Age 60 onwards

  • Still studying , just completed my Counseling Diploma with 100% Distinction.
  • Have 6 more courses to go.
  • NLP Practitioner Course
  • Advanced CBT Diploma
  • Hypnosis Masters Diploma
  • Life Coaching Diploma
  • Emotional Intelligence Diploma
  • and just for fun Make Up Artist Diploma
  • Counselling-Skills-Diploma
  • Celebrating 29 years today 4th April first date with my husband

Still have many things I would like to achieve and hope I stay fit and well enough to do so.

So go ahead and write your list, and when your feeling like you just can’t take anymore take a look at how far you have come!!!!!!

Linda

11:11 – A very revealing day for me

NOW 28 YEARS ON AND STILL NO CHANGE!

Well after my previous post about 11:11 I could not have believed how revealing a day it would be for me!

After several years of no contact with my birth mother for no apparent reason, I discovered why at 4.10am yesterday morning, yes 4.10 on the 11:11 due to the time difference in Australia.

The conversation started that” I needed to see a psychiatrist and I was totally screwed”. 

I challenged her on her statement and discovered that my ex husband had been contacting her after being divorced for over 28 years.!

Yes CONTACTING my biological mother 28 YEARS AFTER THE DIVORCE

(I was adopted at 6 weeks)

It never ends, the pathological lying and the deceit.

Lies about my mother who died 3 years ago and is not here to defend herself, lies about her character, stories about her generosity and charity and community work twisted into a sick story .

Lies about money and the divorce settlement.

So just to set the story straight here is the final bill out of 140,000 pounds back in 1994 after 8 years of fighting to see my children. (I still have not seen my son in 30 years)

TRUE STORIES

Yes after 8 years of fighting and 14 years of marriage, I finally received 6,392.00 pounds 23.79% of the total proceeds.

At least I got something which is more than his last girlfriend received after 12 years of being together.

So to set set the record straight:

NO MY EX DID NOT PAY FOR THE HOUSE MY HUSBAND AND I LIVED IN IN EDLESBOROUGH OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

MY MOTHER AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY ARE HONEST HARD WORKING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIE, STEAL OR CHEAT.

Never Give Up One Year On

Never ever give up.

One year on after the reconciliation with my daughter after 27 years of parental alienation and all is well.

I had no help from PA specialists, family therapy centers, courts, solicitors teachers or doctors, I just left the alienator to reveal his true self. It took a long time, but it finally happened. No one can keep up that pretense for ever!!!!!!

I have just had my second mothers day and a wonderful family holiday with my daughter and two grandchildren. I cannot believe how my life has changed over the past 15 months.

I feel like nothing has changed between us even though 27 years have passed and she is now a beautiful adult and wonderful mother to her 2 children. She is mentally stronger and resilient than I could ever imagine, and she now knows that many of the stories she had been told over the past 27 years were exactly that “stories” lies and control!!

The one thing that saddens and disappoints me more than anything is all the mothers and parents out there who said “just forget about them”, “move on with your life”, “just leave them to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

All the people I had known over the years, many of them parents themselves who knew what was happening and just ignored the situation.

All the school teachers, doctors, girlfriends, social workers and specialists witnessing emotional abuse and not protecting my children.

WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN where people are afraid to speak up and tell our children the truth????

Well today is Worldwide Parental Awareness Day March Against Parental Alienation and people all over the world are joining peaceful protests to prevent this from happening in the future, everyone one of them have suffered in one way or another due to Parental Alienation.

My message to you is to never ever give up, keep posting on social media, keep sending letters and cards, let your children see you are not the person that they have been told you are. Let them see the real you.

ITS TIME TO CHANGE!!!!!

Linda