Posted in True Stories

Achievements

In these troubled times we need to focus on the positive and look back at how far we have moved forward.

Take some time out to sit back and reflect of how much you have achieved since leaving your toxic ex behind.
How many years he held me back!!!!

Here is my own list and its still in progress:-
Age 19 to 30

  • Had 2 beautiful children
  • Renovated 4 properties whilst living in them
  • Spent my time at home looking after the children

Age 30 to 40

  • Finally managed to get rid of the ex after 14 years!!!!!
  • Went to live In Switzerland, worked to save enough to buy a house starting from scratch with no savings or investments (came back to UK after 3 months)
  • Got back on the career ladder after not being allowed to work for 12 years
  • Secured a permanent position for a company in Milton Keynes
  • Met my very best long time friend through work
  • Managed to save enough to obtain a mortgage and purchase my own house.
  • Went to college whilst working and obtained further qualifications
  • Promoted to senior position based in Sweden/Zurich, traveled between UK, Sweden and Zurich
  • Met my current husband and moved in together
  • Purchased a brand new MGF with my bonus from work
  • Wonderful holidays in USA, Yellowstone Park, Grand Canyon, Las Vegas, California, Colorado, Texas, Mexico, The Maldives and the Caribbean.
  • Champagne Balloon flight across Buckingham for 40th Birthday

Age 40 to 50

  • Completed several training courses in HR and Training.
  • Made redundant and started my own IT business.
  • Secured many IT contracts with local companies.
  • Got married to the love of my life in Las Vegas, honeymooned in the Grand Canyon.
  • Sold my own house for a substantial profit.
  • Sold our marital home and moved to France.
  • Purchased our joint dream home in France .
  • Took up photography.
  • Met a Reiki Master who taught me Reiki and obtained my Master Reiki Certificate after 3 years study.
  • Started doing Pilates.
  • Started swimming 100 lengths everyday (only in the summer).
  • Purchased a telescope and studied the stars.
  • Bought our 2 beautiful golden Labradors.
  • Met lots of new interesting friends.
  • Started an online business in France.
  • Continued to explore France, practice Reiki,enjoy life and relax.
  • Had my 50th birthday in the Florida Keys

Age 50 to 60

  • Retired from work.
  • Started studying again.
  • Created this website and joined forces with other alienated parents.
  • Was asked to be a co founder of NAAP National Association of Alienated Parents.
  • Walked the Camino de Santiago Santiago de Compostela.
  • Had my first flying lesson .
  • Had my 60th Birthday in Phi Phi Island Thailand, 3 days in Bangkok.
  • Did my PADI certificate in Thailand, still to be completed.

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Age 60 onwards

  • Still studying , just completed my Counseling Diploma with 100% Distinction.
  • Have 6 more courses to go.
  • NLP Practitioner Course
  • Advanced CBT Diploma
  • Hypnosis Masters Diploma
  • Life Coaching Diploma
  • Emotional Intelligence Diploma
  • and just for fun Make Up Artist Diploma
  • Counselling-Skills-Diploma
  • Celebrating 29 years today 4th April first date with my husband

Still have many things I would like to achieve and hope I stay fit and well enough to do so.

So go ahead and write your list, and when your feeling like you just can’t take anymore take a look at how far you have come!!!!!!

Linda

Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

11:11 – A very revealing day for me

NOW 28 YEARS ON AND STILL NO CHANGE!

Well after my previous post about 11:11 I could not have believed how revealing a day it would be for me!

After several years of no contact with my birth mother for no apparent reason, I discovered why at 4.10am yesterday morning, yes 4.10 on the 11:11 due to the time difference in Australia.

The conversation started that” I needed to see a psychiatrist and I was totally screwed”. 

I challenged her on her statement and discovered that my ex husband had been contacting her after being divorced for over 28 years.!

Yes CONTACTING my biological mother 28 YEARS AFTER THE DIVORCE

(I was adopted at 6 weeks)

It never ends, the pathological lying and the deceit.

Lies about my mother who died 3 years ago and is not here to defend herself, lies about her character, stories about her generosity and charity and community work twisted into a sick story .

Lies about money and the divorce settlement.

So just to set the story straight here is the final bill out of 140,000 pounds back in 1994 after 8 years of fighting to see my children. (I still have not seen my son in 30 years)

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Yes after 8 years of fighting and 14 years of marriage, I finally received 6,392.00 pounds 23.79% of the total proceeds.

At least I got something which is more than his last girlfriend received after 12 years of being together.

So to set set the record straight:

NO MY EX DID NOT PAY FOR THE HOUSE MY HUSBAND AND I LIVED IN IN EDLESBOROUGH OR ANYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER.

MY MOTHER AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY ARE HONEST HARD WORKING PEOPLE WHO DO NOT LIE, STEAL OR CHEAT.

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Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

Parental Alienation – HOW LOW DO YOU GO?

JUST TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT, sick of still hearing it, does it ever end??? Still hearing malicious stories people have recently been told.

Well here we are 28 years on and still it goes on, it never ends, the pathological lying and the deceit.

  • Lies about my mother who died 3 years ago and is not here to defend herself, lies about her character, stories about her generosity, charity and community work twisted into a sick story.
  • Lies about infidelity – I did not date anyone until the marriage was officially over and I received the decree absolute. My son knows this because he was still in the matrimonial home with me after the divorce!
  • Lies about me being mentally unstable and in his words “A complete nutter”, find this one quite funny because I nearly was 28 years ago!!!!. Thankfully after years of therapy discovered I was quite normal.
  • Lies about paying for a property for me and my husband after the divorce.
  • Lies about money and the divorce settlement.
    • Producing fake business accounts to the court to reduce my share of the property. (Still have the documents for evidence when my children finally realize the truth)
    • Producing a document from a local health clinic saying he could no longer work because of a back injury, apparently he would end up in a wheel chair!!!!!! Again to reduce my share. (Still have the document for proof if ever needed)

So just to set the story straight here is the final bill out of 140,000 pounds back in 1994 after 8 years of fighting to see my children. (I still have not seen my son in 30 years)

 

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20191112_073003Yes after 8 years of fighting and 14 years of marriage, I finally received 6,392.00 pounds 23.79% of the total proceeds.

At least I got something which is more than his last girlfriend received after 12 years of being together.

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Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

Never Give Up One Year On

Never ever give up.

One year on after the reconciliation with my daughter after 27 years of parental alienation and all is well.

I had no help from PA specialists, family therapy centers, courts, solicitors teachers or doctors, I just left the alienator to reveal his true self. It took a long time, but it finally happened. No one can keep up that pretense for ever!!!!!!

I have just had my second mothers day and a wonderful family holiday with my daughter and two grandchildren. I cannot believe how my life has changed over the past 15 months.

I feel like nothing has changed between us even though 27 years have passed and she is now a beautiful adult and wonderful mother to her 2 children. She is mentally stronger and resilient than I could ever imagine, and she now knows that many of the stories she had been told over the past 27 years were exactly that “stories” lies and control!!

The one thing that saddens and disappoints me more than anything is all the mothers and parents out there who said “just forget about them”, “move on with your life”, “just leave them to it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

All the people I had known over the years, many of them parents themselves who knew what was happening and just ignored the situation.

All the school teachers, doctors, girlfriends, social workers and specialists witnessing emotional abuse and not protecting my children.

WHAT KIND OF WORLD ARE WE LIVING IN where people are afraid to speak up and tell our children the truth????

Well today is Worldwide Parental Awareness Day March Against Parental Alienation and people all over the world are joining peaceful protests to prevent this from happening in the future, everyone one of them have suffered in one way or another due to Parental Alienation.

My message to you is to never ever give up, keep posting on social media, keep sending letters and cards, let your children see you are not the person that they have been told you are. Let them see the real you.

ITS TIME TO CHANGE!!!!!

Linda

Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

My amazing year – shortlived

I dont often write about my personal experiences but felt I would just like to share this one!!!

Many of you have read my TRUE STORIES so I dont have to go into detail, after many, many years of frustration with the legal system and social services I am now well and truly reunited with my daughter and grandchildren.

The only assistance I had was a very understanding therapist who has kept me sane over the past year, and a very supportive family. Very few people beleived in me, even my birth mother and long term freinds who witnessed over 27 years of alienation just stood by and did nothing.

It does not take any specialist or PA expert when it comes to reuniting with adult alienated children, all it takes is time and love. Sooner or later the disturbed mind of the alienator will surface, the mask will slip and all will be revealed for what it truly is!!!!

The bystanders will try and make excuses for themselves for their cowardly behaviour, the alienator will try and up their game only to reveal more of the lies and betrayal towards their children.

During this phase, do not try to defend yourself, do not talk about the past, refuse to discuss your situation with bystanders who are only interested in portraying themselves as supportive, they are hypercrites of the worst kind. Instead focus all your energy into rebuilding your relationship, savour every moment, dont be afraid to show the love you have and always had to your reunited children and grandchildren.

Indulge them and yourself, make memories, build on what you have now and let go of the past.

Never ever give up on yourself or your children, one day it may happen, be full of love and laughter because this is what has been missing from their lives for many years. Be the parent you have been longing to be for all those months or years.

Its taken a long long time but I am now savouring and enjoying every second.

For all of you out there still waiting, I am always by your side.

Linda

 

 

 

Posted in Alienated children, Alienation, Linda Turner, NAAP, Parental Alienation PA, True Stories

Story of Hope

Here is a comprehensive list of the authorities and people I have written to over the past 27 years who would not listen or intervene and stop my children being emotionally abused by my ex partner.

Bedfordshire Social Services

Bucks Social Services

Welfare Offices Bedfordshire

Aylesbury Care for Children and Families

Edlesborough School, Bedfordshire

Cottesloe School, Bedfordshire

Aylesbury Grammar School, Buckinghamshire

Tring School, Hertfordshire

Bedfordshire Police

Thames Valley Police

Milton Keynes County Court

Waltons Solicitors

United Grand Lodge of England – Masons

Brother in Law

Mother in Law

My own biological mother

AND THE LIST GOES ON……………………………

Now history is repeating itself and my ex is threatening to do exactly the same again,  his words “I have done it before and got away with it, I shall do it again”. He has been allowed to manipulate, deceive and control the authorities, friends and family for decades!!!!!!!!!!!

Well #timetochange  is here and hopefully history will not be repeating itself. READ THE REPORT

NAAP focuses on the rights of children to have a loving relationship with both parents after divorce or separation. Just four parents with no budget, they have formed a helpline, and a national report from experts in this subject which has been sent to every MP, social services department, government department and minister, contact centre, school and more. But why? Well to educate everyone about the well-researched issue, the size of the problem and to create a national conversation. This culminates in the official launch on Wednesday 7th March 2018 at the House of Commons with key expert speakers in the field addressing and audience of multidisciplinary professionals, parents and MP’s about the emotional harm suffered by children in these cases.

 

https://www.facebook.com/NAAP2017/

 

 

Posted in Linda Turner, Social services, True Stories

Social Services!!!!

I do hope Bedfordshire Social Services have improved their act since these events.

I think the documents say it all!!!!

Very little has changed since then over 30 years ago.

I followed their advice and took a step back to my children some space.

All that has happened is that is has allowed the alienation to continue and now 30 years on it is completely irreversible.

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Parental Alienation 24 years on – 1

 

Parental Alienation 24 years on – 2

Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

Lock up your daughters

 

Natural Born Liars

A insight to what goes on behind closed doors during Parental Alienation

A story based on true facts during a battle which has lasted over 27 years and continues up until this day.

These are not from memories 27 years later, the events were contemporaneously scripted at the time and have been stored for reference.

All names have been changed to protect the identity of the persons involved.

A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner

I had been on my own for several months after the divorce when a good friend suggested I should get back into the social scene.

After what I had been fed for many years I felt unworthy, unloved, unattractive and thought no one would be interested in me. Many friends  had shied away due to the outrageous behavior of Kram and several ugly incidents that took place in the village after the divorce.

Every time anyone took any interest in me there would be a damaged car, roof slashed, tool kit removed or burning vehicle left outside someones property.On one occasion when I due in court, Kram parked by (now husband) my boyfriends office and threatened him. Krams words where “I dont care if I end up in Bedford prison”

Kram was very careful always to get someone else to do his dirty work, never him, always employees or lowlife friends.

My friend persuaded a very respectable local tennis coach to take me to a village party one evening, his wife had left many months ago, so why not?? He was one of the very few who was not afraid of Kram, he boldly knocked on the door one day and asked me out. I was very apprehensive and knew there would be repercussions but I had to get out there and life my life, after all I was only 33.

We got to know each other quite well and he knew Kram and what he was capable of.

I was quite shocked and disgusted when he told me that one evening after his daughter had been babysitting  Kram walked her back home as he had too much to drink to drive. Apparently even though she was only school age he said I will pay you extra if you give me a kiss, he then tried to make romantic/sexual advances.

You may be reading this thinking – “how awful for his children to read this” but this was minor compared to what my daughter told me several years later.

May was very proud of her father and loved the fact that her school friends found him attractive. She told me many years later that one evening when her friend went to the house for a sleepover, when she woke up, in the morning her friend was in bed with her father Kram!!!!!

I was almost sick with disgust when she told me, and I hoped it was just another one of her bizarre stories.

I asked her how it made her feel, and she smiled and said “all my friends fancied my dad, they think he’s lovely” she did not think there was a problem. When I responded saying it was disgusting she replied “you are only jealous”!!!!!

The more I discovered what happened in that house the worse it became.

A snippet from the new book titled #NaturalBornLiars ©Linda Turner

read more NATURAL BORN LIARS

 

 

 

Posted in Linda Turner, Social services, True Stories

TRUE STORIES

https://parentalalienation-pas.com/true-stories/

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Parental Alienation 24 years on – 2
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Parental Alienation 24 years on – 1
Posted in Linda Turner, True Stories

Happily ever after.

Once upon a time there was a very ordinary naive young girl of 18 who met a handsome young man 2 years older.

The young girl came from a loving family and had a very comfortable upbringing. The young man came from a very poor family, but despite their differences they fell in love.

The young man asked the young girl to marry him very soon after they had met! They young naive girl accepted the proposal and they married and had a beautiful golden haired little boy.

Even though they did not have much money they managed to buy a house and life was wonderful.

The young man had a responsible job and went to work while the young women stayed at home and doted on her beautiful baby boy.

Friends and family went to the house to see the new baby boy with gifts, but the young man sent them away and told the young women that they were not her friends and that her family did not care about her.

The young girl accepted what he said because after all he had married her, loved her and their baby boy!!!!

A year passed by and the young man wanted to move away from the area to somewhere new. The young women discovered she was to have another child. They moved to another house several miles away from their families which made life very difficult without a car.

The young women noticed that her husband did not want anyone to see her, especially as she was very large and pregnant and so he began going out socially on his own with his man friends leaving the pregnant young women alone, at home with no car, friends or family.

The young women did not mind because she knew deep down that her husband loved her because he told her all the time.

Soon a beautiful golden haired baby girl was born and the young women was very happy to have 2 beautiful golden haired healthy children.

Life went on and they moved a few more times, had wonderful holidays together with the children and did all the things normal people do.

The young man did not like the young women to have friends, so she kept herself busy home-making but felt she needed more in her life, after all she did have a good job before she met her husband.

As the children grew up she noticed that her husband would tease her little boy and call him “mummies little golden boy” and whisper things to their daughter, which made the daughter not taunt her mother.

The young man did this often and the dynamics of the relationship began to change. The young man lost his job and started acting irresponsibly and hanging out with undesirable people and other women.

They very rarely went out together and the young women thought the young man was no longer handsome when she looked at him. The love she once felt started to diminish and she wanted to be independent and go back to work.

This was forbidden and the fairy story started to turn into a nightmare.

The young women became very depressed and felt she had 3 children and no husband. After witnessing many affairs, drink and drugs, as she was only 34 she decided that would start a new life.

The man did not like this and thought his wife should stay with him no matter what. The women was no longer naive and did not want her children raised witnessing this behaviour!!! So she divorced him very quickly.

They all lived in the house even after the divorce and the nightmare became horrendous, like some horror movie until eventually the women was forced out and had to move away.

The women moved to a strange land where she knew no one,she lived alone without her children or any of her belongings. She was very lonely without her children and wrote to them every day. She tried to call them but was forbidden to speak to them. Her life was miserable and she just wanted to go to sleep and never wake up.

One day she woke up in the strange land and decided she had to start a new life, a new beginning. She went back to England and lived with her mother who gave her lots of encouragement and support.

The women was no longer weak, she had become strong and tried desperately to get contact with her children. She went to court several times, she had social workers involved, she sent letters, cards and tried to call her children but every time she was blocked.

She met another kind handsome man and they fell in love and started a new life together. Once again she was happy and life was good and maybe one day it would be complete if she could have contact with her children.

It was not to be, her children had been stolen from her and her ex husband continued to play mind games but she was stronger than ever now and managed the situation well.

Her new husband had 2 lovely children who she became very fond of and they all had wonderful family holidays together in America and Disney. Happy times once again.

She went for that job she had always wanted and was never allowed, she progressed up the career ladder. Her confidence grew and grew.

She blossomed.

Her new kind handsome partner asked her to marry him, so off they went to Las Vegas for a fairy tale wedding and honeymoon.

She could not believe she could be so blissfully happy again, in a totally different non controlling way. She had no doubts that her new husband loved her very much, he was happy for her to have friends and loved her family too, as she did his.

One day almost 9 years later (18 years old) her daughter all grown up went to the house where they lived. They got to know each other once again, but they had to keep it a closely guarded secret because her father would be very angry if he knew.

They went shopping together, but every present that was purchased had to be hidden away from her father.

The young girl told her mother that her upbringing had been very sordid and sad and many bad things had happened to her and her brother whilst living with their father.

She had been terrified to mention her mother or the past.

She could not remember any of the nice things, holidays etc as all the family photos including the ones of themselves had been destroyed by their father.

The daughter moved to Spain and married someone who had lots of money and looked after her.

During this time the son also went to the house where his mother lived, he had been living in Australia.

She could not believe what was happening after waiting for so many years. Her son was now an adult and was almost a stranger to her.

Unfortunately he had the same tale to tell as his sister, and he too had to be very careful what he told his father.

He said sorry to his mother for what had happened and promised that it would never, ever happen again!!!!!!!!!!

He lived in the house with his mother and her new husband for over 5 weeks until he was eventually asked to leave by the new husband, after all he was in his late twenty’s and quite capable of getting a job.

The son moved out and bad mouthed the mother and her husband even though they had looked after him for over 5 weeks. His father had told a lie and said it was not possible for the son to stay with him because his parents where at his house.

The mother and her husband checked this out, just another lie!!!!

So it started again with her son after ten years.

The mother and her husband went to live in France to leave it all behind.

The daughter had a gorgeous baby boy in Spain.

The mother went to see her eventually after the baby was born.

She was under strict instructions never ever to let her father know that she had been to her house in Spain. Every gift and every photo had to be hidden away. The mother absolutely loved being a grandmother but thought it was a shame that she could not share her joyful news in case the father got to know. It was a closely guarded secret.

The daughter promised her mother that she would never ever let the same thing happen again and understood exactly what had happened once she had a baby of her own!!!!

The grandmother spent many happy years visiting her daughter and grandson in secret. Spain, Australia and then back to the UK.

They even had a wonderful holiday in Florida and Disney together when the grandson was only two.

The grandmother had her daughter and grandson in her life and was blissfully happy.

She had a wonderful husband, 2 lovely step children, her own daughter and grandson in her life – what more could she want.

The daughter, husband and grandson went to France for Christmas and met her other grandmother for the first time in many, many years.

Later on the daughter left her husband and went to France with her son for Christmas.

Her father created a huge drama back in the UK, called the Hertfordshire Police and told them some bizarre story and the phone never stopped ringing throughout Christmas. The daughter was encouraged by her mother and husband to speak to her own husband and return to the UK with their son and sort things out. The daughter’s father told her to go to a women’s refuge when she returned to the UK.!!!!! The daughter went back to her husband before his birthday in the New Year.

The daughter and grandson went to France again the following summer and had a wonderful time.

She still wanted to leave her husband and started making plans.

Totally out of the blue, after the daughter’s birthday, 7 days later after returning from France the mother was blocked on all social media – Facebook, email, phone etc.

Abuse about the mother was posted all over facebook but the mother could not respond as she had been blocked. A family member had seen the abuse and was horrified that such lies should be posted on facebook!!!!

The mother could not believe what was happening in her life again!!!

She had done nothing but love her children and grandchild and wanted nothing but the very best for them.

She had forgiven the ex husband for all the grief and heartache he had caused, not only to her but also to her children over the many, many years.

FORGIVEN BUT NOT FORGOTTEN.

After much soul searching she tried once again to understand why and how all this had happened in her life.

She would not rest until she had some answers. If she could not get the answers from her own children she would look elsewhere.

In August 2014 she discovered a closed group on Facebook called “Parents Healing from Estrangement” and met many others like herself.

They all had one thing in common.

There were many questions, opinions and heartbreaking stories.

She decided to create a website and gather as much information together as she could find and post it on the website alongside her own story, so she did not have to keep repeating it over and over again.

The website grew and grew alongside the closed group on Facebook, she met many friends and read many true stories and articles. She contacted many doctors and experts and started to understand.

At last – 26 years later – she had the answer she had been looking for.

She felt a little sad, but relieved and happy that she could finish this chapter of her life and continue to be complete and happy in the knowledge that she had done everything she possibly could to retain contact with her children/grandchildren.

She now accepts her situation and is now planning ahead for 2016, new projects, new life.

She will live happily ever after with her loving husband.

The End.

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