Posted in Recovery, Self Help

Impulsivity for short-term reward in adolescence

Importantly, over late childhood and adolescence, there seems to be a lack of synchrony in the development of two of the critical brain systems that enable fully adaptive behavior.

The ‘rational’ cognitive system, which allows for understanding a problem and arriving at a solution, appears to be well formed at age 16.[14] This seems in step with the maturation of frontal cortex, and on testing a child may give appropriate, adult-like, answers.

However, the system for effective use of information in context – balancing
long term consequences with immediate social and emotional concerns – does not develop in synchrony with such rationality [14], and so there is a ‘gap’ between the

Studies show that adolescents and young adults become poorer at
responding on problem solving tasks when the complexity of emotion is added [14]. Such tasks would likely involve the interaction of functions across a range of brain areas (including limbic, thalamoamygdala pathway and both left and right frontal systems) [8].

Furthermore, this ‘gap’ between reason and emotion is exacerbated by an underlying susceptibility for responding to immediate rewards that emerges early in adolescence.
In the ‘teenage brain’ there is a surge of an infusion of reward-oriented neuro-transmitters (dopaminergic activity) and an associated increase in reward-seeking behavior.

It appears, therefore, that the brain system related to rewards (the meso-limbic area) is developing rapidly relative to the other systems. Especially, it seems, compared to the
frontal system that is supposed to regulate it, and the social and emotional systems that will, in time, moderate it.

Changes in brain systems configuration – as connectivity improves with increased
myelination and ongoing cortical pruning – has been shown in longterm neuro-imaging research. This work shows that the areas responsible for high level thinking
such as control of impulses and making judgments about the longer term (the dorso-lateral- prefrontal cortex) only reach adult levels of ‘cortical thickness’ in the late
teenage years [16].

The teenage brain, therefore, has an adult-like ability to reason, but with a
heightened need for basic reward, and a lowered capacity to buffer immediate influences and potential short-term rewards for greater, longer-term gains – especially in contexts involving peers. This sets the scene for risky decision-making.
As one commentator described, biologically speaking it’s like ‘starting the engines without a skilled driver behind the wheel’.[15]

Brain development through
childhood and adolescence:
• for stages of brain growth see
• for neuroimaging findings see
Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI):
• Centre for Disease Control and
Prevention for an overview to TBI and
helpful factsheets, advice and areas of
• Centre for Disease Control and
Prevention for an overview to TBI in
• National Institute for Health and
Clinical Excellence (NICE) guidelines for
what should be done when someone
has, or is suspected to have, suffered a
head Injury
• Headway, the brain injury charity
Posted in Self Help

Is it possible to change our personality?

Personality refers to an individual and his or her unique adaptive qualities. Hence, personality is more than a mask of the individual self. Personality is the self plus all the internal and external forces that pull on the self, so personality is the self and its way of adapting to internal and external influences. In other words, it involves adaptation to both a person’s internal environment (e.g., feelings and motivations related to fears, desires, hopes, and aspirations) and their external environment (e.g., family and social relations, job conditions, exposure to crime and violence, climate change, etc).
Posted in Recovery, Self Help

Brainspotting for Trauma and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

Diagnosing Trauma: Developmental Trauma and PTSD

If trauma results from a specific event(s) it is generally identified as PTSD or Complex PTSD. If it is rooted in an overall unsafe and harmful childhood environment it is identified as developmental trauma. Developmental trauma refers to a series of chronic traumatic events, habits, and associations causing overwhelming stress during childhood. A primary component of developmental trauma includes the absence or ineffectiveness of a caregiver to help reduce the stress. This results in a disruption in basic attachment necessary for feeling a sense of safety and security that is critical to healthy brain and body development in childhood. This may include but is not limited to chronic abuse, neglect, unsafe home, bullying, drug or alcohol abuse by caregivers or other serious hardships during childhood.

Developmental trauma is often used interchangeably with Complex PTSD however trauma experts are working to clarify it as distinct in many important ways.

  • Developmental trauma is not rooted in a traumatic event like PTSD or stacked specific events like Complex PTSD and does not always lead to meeting all of the criteria for PTSD.
  • In fact, research shows over 50% of people do not show signs of trauma until they are adults. This can make identifying a specific traumatic event challenging and because of this, individuals with developmental trauma often feel shame, confusion, and frustration at understanding why they feel the way they do.
  • Along with many of the symptoms of PTSD, individuals with developmental trauma may also experience a chronic history of serious dysregulation in their relationships/ attachments, attention, self-esteem/ self-image, body image, self-regulation and affect.
  • Health issues are also a common complaint of individuals with developmental trauma. Brainspotting’s fluid and dual attunement approach makes it highly effective at treating both developmental trauma and PTSD.
Posted in Alienation, Linda Turner, Self Help, therapy

Its Never Too Late

Posted in Alienation, Psychological manipulation, Self Help


Treatment and therapy for manipulative behavior may depend largely on what underlying issues are causing the behavior. If, for instance, the manipulation is being caused by an underlying mental health issue, individual therapy may help that person understand why their behavior is unhealthy for themselves and those around them. A counselor may also be able to help the manipulative person learn skills for interacting with others while respecting their boundaries and address underlying insecurities that may be contributing to the behavior.

Certain mental health issues such as borderline personality may cause people to feel anxiety in relationships, causing them to act manipulatively in order to feel secure. In these instances, a therapist may help the person address their mental health issue, which in turn can reduce their anxiety and help them feel secure in their relationships.

Posted in Alienation, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, NLP, Recovery, Self Help, therapy

Recovery Coach

Coaching people struggling with PA I specialise in recovery from narcissistic abuse and the effects of Parental Alienation

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Posted in Alienated children, Alienation, Linda Turner, Parental Alienation PA, Recovery, Self Help

I am an amazing parent and grandparent

Come and join me in telling the world what an amazing parent/grandparent you are!

I am creating a gallery of letters from all of you amazing parents and grandparents out there on this website to remind ourselves what great parents/grandparents we are.

I have two children and have been the best parent and grandparent I possibly could be over the years.

I have spent many years, months, , weeks, days and hours loving and caring for my 2 children and grandchildren.

I have traveled back and forth on public transport and often on foot to hospitals, doctors surgeries, clinics, dentists, school events, leisure centers, visiting relatives etc, the list goes on.

I have organised special birthdays and baked birthday cakes, I have handmade costumes for fancy dress and school plays, repaired and painted dolls houses and handmade, clothes, Christmas and birthday presents when we did not have much money.

I have loved and cared for my children for many years through illness, crisis and trauma in addition to many happy events.

I always made sure my children were loved by not only myself, but had contact with aunties, uncles, cousins, grandparents friends and other relatives.

As my children got older I still supported them even though my ex stopped all contact for 20 plus years (and he is still trying). My son came to live with me for over 6 weeks and I supported him emotionally and financially even though he had nothing to do with me for many years.

My daughter has come to me for money and support through various situations since the age of 18. I have helped her with her catering exams when she lived in Australia, I lent her large sums of money throughout the years. I have encouraged and helped her set up and start at least 2 businesses. I was there when she left her husband on several occasions to pick up the pieces. I have traveled back and forth overseas (Spain, Australia, UK) to babysit the grandchildren. I have bailed her out when her horses and dog where stranded in Spain last year.

The list goes on and on, I have done everything I possibly can to be the very best parent and grandparent.

So whatever they may say about you:

  • Whatever lies are being told about you by the ex and their team of enablers
  • Even if all the photographs of the past have been destroyed or removed (only 1 left featured saved by my mother)
  • You know the truth.


We cant change the past, so come and join me on a journey of recovery reminding ourselves of how amazing we are. Lets celebrate and remind ourselves of who we really are.



Linda (30 years alienated but I am still a parent and grandparent.)

Posted in Alienated children, Alienation, Parental Alienation PA, Recovery, Self Help, therapy

Moving away from Toxicity and Fear


Posted in Alienated children, Alienation, Linda Turner, NLP, Parental Alienation PA, Recovery, Self Help, therapy

Why do I feel so bad?


Posted in Alienated children, Alienation, Linda Turner, Parental Alienation PA, Recovery, Self Help, therapy

A Healing Journey