Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Particular Characteristics of Female Sociopaths Vs Males, Partner a Narcissist? Checklist

Qualities of a Sociopath

Someone who is described as a sociopath will have several traits that set them apart from those with no personality disorders. These traits include the following…

Lack of empathy – Inability to feel sympathy for others or to understand the emotional consequences of their actions

Cold, calculating nature – The ability and willingness to use others around them to personal gain

Shallow emotions – Lack of real emotion in response to events, limited capacity to feel love

Narcissism – A personality disorder in itself in which the individual feels strong love and admiration toward themselves (often a defense mechanism against deep seated low esteem)

Grandiose self image – They might see themselves as someone who is superior to others and sometimes even experiences delusions. A sociopath might see themselves as a fitting ruler of a country or even the world, but might also have delusional beliefs such as seeing themselves as a God or having super powers

Charming – While the sociopath is unable to fully understand the emotions of others, they are capable but rather highly adept at mimicking them and might appear to be charming and normal at first

High IQ – Often sociopaths will exhibit a high IQ which they can use to manipulate and plan

Manipulative – Sociopaths use their superficial charm and high IQ to manipulate others to get their ends, and their lack of empathy allows them to do this with no sense of guilt or remorse

Secretive – Has little need for others and is highly secretive in their actions meaning

Sexually deviant – The lack of remorse, guilt or emotional attachments means that the sociopath is happy to have affairs and to engage in questionable sexual activity without questioning their desires

Sensitive to criticism – That said, like all narcissists, the sociopath will desire the approval of others and will be highly sensitive to criticisms. They often feel they deserve adulation and admiration of the world and might feel victimized

Paranoid – Often their lack of understanding of emotion along with their incongruous self view means that they feel a lack of trust and paranoia

Despotic/Authoritarian – Often the sociopath will see themselves as a necessary authority and will be in favor or totalitarian rule

Lawfulness – Despite popular belief, a sociopath is not likely to be a problem to the law in later life, but rather will seek to find loopholes, to rise to a position of power, or to move to another area so that their behavior is tolerated

Low tolerance for boredom – Sociopaths require constant stimulation and get quickly bored

Impulsive behavior – A lack of regret and empathy means makes sociopaths more likely to make sudden rash decisions based on the current facts

Compulsive lying – As part of their facade, and as a means to an end, sociopaths are compulsive liars and will rarely speak truthfully making them hard to pin down

The MacDonald Triad – In childhood sociopaths will likely have demonstrated the ‘MacDonald Triad’ also known as the ‘Triad of Sociopathy’, traits that often are demonstrated in sociopaths from a young age. These include animal cruelty (pulling the wings off of flies etc, bed wetting, and pyromania (an obsession with fire setting)).

Sociopaths of course vary in their symptoms and might act differently in different cases. However their main trait is presenting themselves as having the same empathy feelings and emotions as others when in fact they lack this emotional capacity. They are thus cold and manipulative and rarely see any problem with their actions.

http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/15850/1/Characteristics-of-a-Sociopath.html

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Posted in Parental Alienation PA, Partner a Narcissist? Checklist

Is Your Partner a Narcissist? Checklist

  1. When something goes wrong, does your partner blame everyone but himself or herself?
  2. Does your partner refuse to be accountable for his or her bad behavior? (For example, “You made me so mad that I couldn’t help . . .”)
  3. Does your partner believe he or she is always right?
  4. Is your partner unable to tune in to your feelings or your children’s feelings?
  5. Does your partner seem more concerned about how your behavior or your children’s behavior reflects on him or her than on understanding and accepting who you and the kids are as people?
  6. Does your partner seem to be out of touch with his or her own feelings or seem to deny them?
  7. Does your partner carry grudges against you and others?
  8. Is it all about your partner and his/her money, time, parenting time, property, and wishes/demands?
  9. Does your partner seem unwilling to listen to you and to hear your concerns?
  10. Is your partner constantly telling you what to do?
  11. Does your partner make you feel “not good enough”? Have your partner’s constant put-downs caused you to internalize this message?
  12. Does your partner never ask about you, your day, or your feelings, even in passing?
  13. Does your partner need to go on and on about how great he or she is and how pathetic you are?
  14. Does your partner lie?
  15. Does your partner manipulate?
  16. Does your partner tell different people different stories about the same event, spinning the story so that he or she looks good?
  17. When your partner talks about his or her kids, is it about what the kids do rather than who they are?
  18. Are the children uncomfortable with your partner, love your partner, but at the same time are reluctant to spend time with him or her?
  19. Have you come to realize that the kids protect themselves by not sharing their feelings with your partner?
  20. Does your partner mistrust everyone?
  21. Are the kids always trying to gain your partner’s love and approval?
  22. Has your partner spent minimal time with the children?
  23. Does your partner typically skip the children’s events if he or she does not have an interest in that particular activity or does not value it?
  24. Does your partner push the children to be involved in activities that your partner likes or values and discourage or forbid them from pursuing activities that your partner does not value?
  25. Have others in your life said that something is different or strange about your partner?
  26. Does your partner take advantage of other people?
  27. Is your partner all about power and control, pursuing power at all costs?
  28. Is your partner all about image and how things look to others?
  29. Does your partner seem to have no value system, no fixed idea of right and wrong for his or her behavior?
  30. After the divorce, does your partner still want to exploit you? Or has your partner never calmed down?
  31. When you try to discuss your life issues with your partner, does your partner change the subject so that you end up talking about your partner’s issues?
  32. When you describe your feelings, does your partner try to top your feelings with his or her own stories?
  33. Does your partner act jealous of you?
  34. Does your partner lack empathy?
  35. Does your partner only support things that reflect well on him or her?
  36. Have you consistently felt a lack of emotional closeness with your partner?
  37. Have you consistently questioned if your partner loves you?
  38. Does your partner do considerate things for you only when others are around to witness that good behavior?
  39. When something difficult happens in your life (for instance, an accident, illness, a divorce in your family or circle of friends), does your partner react with immediate concern about how it will affect him or her rather than with concern for you?
  40. Is your partner overly conscious of what others think?
  41. Do you feel used by your partner?
  42. Do you feel responsible for your partner’s ailments or sicknesses?
  43. Do you feel that your partner does not accept you?
  44. Is your partner critical and judgmental of you and others?
  45. Do you feel that your partner does not know and value the real you and does not want to know the real you?
  46. Does your partner act as if the world should revolve around him or her?
  47. Does your partner appear phony to you?
  48. Does your partner swing from grandiosity to a depressed mood?
  49. Does your partner try to compete with you?
  50. Does your partner always have to have things his or her way?

As one of my clients commented, “If you have ever awakened at 3 a.m. with heart pounding and a vivid certainty that you must end the relationship with the person sleepingnext to you, but the next day continued on as if such middle-of-the-night thoughts were just a bad dream, then you may need some help with the struggle of what to do next. The surreal Alice in Wonderland quality of living with a narcissist is not something we are born knowing how to deal with or even understand.”

Of course, there is hope and healing and if you determine you are struggling with an emotionally abusive relationship I encourage you to reach out, get help, and learn as much as you can about this insidious disorder. You deserve to be loved and cherished, as do your children.