Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissists, Psychopaths, Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage In -Virtuous Victim Signaling-, Study Finds –

New study links virtue signaling to “Dark Triad” traits. Being accused of “virtue signaling” might sound nice to the uninitiated, but spend much time on social media and you know that it’s actually an accusation of insincerity. Virtue signalers are, essentially, phonies and showoffs – folks who adopt opinions and postures solely to garner praise and sympathy or whose good deeds are tainted by their need for everyone to see just how good they are. Combined with a culture that says only victimhood confers a right to comment on certain issues, it’s a big factor in online pile-ons and one that certainly contributes to social media platforms being such a bummer sometimes.

So: Here’s some fun new research looking at “the consequences and predictors of emitting signals of victimhood and virtue,” published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The paper — from University of British Columbia researchers Ekin Ok, Yi Qian, Brendan Strejcek, and Karl Aquino — details multiple studies the authors conducted on the subject.

 Narcissists, Psychopaths, Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage In -Virtuous Victim Signaling-, Study Finds –

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

YOU are the Narcissist’s Ego, Self

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

It Hurts, Humiliating to be a Narcissist (Excerpt)

Posted in Alienation, Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

What to Do When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here’s a little secret: it’s NOT going to go down the way you want it to.

The narcissist isn’t going to cower in shame, cry, or finally see the light of reason. They’ll never allow you to have closure because their entire personality relies on having the upper hand in every interaction.

When a narcissist knows you are onto them, things go from bad to hell before you can even process what’s happening – but that’s exactly the narcissist’s strategy.

If you’re committed to exposing a narcissist, please read the list below before following through. In many cases, exposing a narcissist can backfire and make things much worse for you.

Does this mean you should put up with their abuse? Absolutely not.

However, you should weigh the pros and cons of letting them know you’ve figured them out.

Narcissists define the word “reactionary.” When a narcissist knows you’re onto them, they dial all their worst toxic and abusive qualities up to 10 and go full self-destruct Samson mode.

Gaslighting

Baiting

Fear and Manipulation

 – Projection

You fool! Can’t you see? They’re not the narcissist, you are! (Or so they’ll try to convince you.)

– Leveling

– Devaluation

 – Victimization

– Discarding

– Blackmailing Continue reading “What to Do When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out”

5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You

Whenever a narcissistic person feels threatened, they will call you the things that they themselves are as or are afraid that others see them as. And then they will try to stalk you, slander you, or discredit you. They will try to sabotage and destroy you. They will start a smear campaign and attempt character assassination. In their mind, frighteningly, you have become their mortal enemy.

They also have no problem doing all of it preemptively and calling it defense.

So if you privately call them out, set healthier boundaries, or end the relationship, they may be afraid that you can see their flaws, or that you will tell others what kind of person they are. Whether you do that or not is not important to them. Because in their mind the mere possibility of it is a good enough excuse to label you as an enemy. And because a narcissistic type of person has little or no empathy, they may imagine that you will behave as they would in these situations. If they would lie, or more likely are already lying, they will accuse you of lying.

And so they will do all these things just because they think you are somehow trying to or might hurt them. They also will accuse you of the very things they themselves are doing.

Source: 5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

When the Narcissist Has to Face Reality

Aging itself can bring about a withering, if not bursting, of the narcissistic bubble. You’re no longer a fresh young thing and are starting to develop wrinkles, bags, sags, or a gray or bald head. Your clothes don’t fit the same way they did before, and you find you can no longer squeeze into your favorite skinny jeans, no matter what you do. Then there’s the inevitable “ma’am” or “sir” that the barista uses in referring to you (yes you, not the person behind you).

The factors that cause the narcissistic bubble to retreat and burst were addressed in an astute article by Eda Goldstein in 1995. Goldstein described what happens somewhere in the middle years when narcissists come to grips with their own failings, exposing their weaknesses to themselves. They can become both enraged and ashamed.

As she noted, there are dangers associated with the sudden coming to grips with reality that can put the individual’s life into a wild tailspin:

“Believing that they should be able to control life and be strong and self-sufficient, individuals with severe narcissistic vulnerability do not allow for human limitations or the effects of life’s vicissitudes… indignation, bitterness, envy, disbelief, and humiliation are commonly expressed and may, in some extreme instances, result in vengeful acts of violence” (pp. 410-411)

The thicker the bubble, in other words, the more damage it leaves when it bursts.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201607/when-the-narcissist-has-face-reality

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissistic mortification

Narcissistic mortification is “the primitive terror of self dissolution, triggered by the sudden exposure of one’s sense of a defective self … it is death by embarrassment“.[1] Narcissistic mortification is a term first used by Sigmund Freud in his last book, Moses and Monotheism,[2] with respect to early injuries to the ego/self. The concept has been widely employed in ego psychology and also contributed to the roots of self psychology.

When narcissistic mortification is experienced for the first time, it may be defined as a sudden loss of control over external or internal reality, or both. This produces strong emotions of terror while at the same time narcissistic libido (also known as ego-libido) or destrudo is built up.[3] Narcissistic libido or ego-libido is the concentration of libido on the self. Destrudo is the opposite of libido and is the impulse to destroy oneself and everything associated with oneself.

Physical sensations and psychological perceptions

An individual’s experience of mortification may be accompanied by both physical and psychological sensations. Physical sensations such as: burning, painful tingling over the body, pain in the chest that slowly expands and spreads throughout the torso, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, sweating, blanching, coldness and numbness can be experienced by the individual suffering from mortification. The psychological sensations described are feeling shocked, exposed, and humiliated. Descriptions of this experience can be, for example: “It feels like I won’t survive” and “I have the absolute conviction that he or she hates me and it’s my fault”. These sensations are always followed by shock, although they may have happened on various occasions, they also prompt the need for the individual suffering to do something both internally and externally, to effect a positive self-image in the eyes of their narcissistic object. Narcissistic mortification is extreme in its intensity, global nature, and its lack of perspective, causing the anxiety associated with it to become traumatic.[1]

Normal versus pathological

In Eidelberg’s view, a normal individual would usually be able to avoid being overwhelmed by internal needs because they recognize these urges in time to bring about their partial discharge. However, Eidelberg does not view occasional outbursts of temper as a sign of disorder. An individual experiencing pathological narcissistic mortification is prone to become fixated on infantile objects, resulting in an infantile form of discharge. He or she cannot be satisfied by the partial discharge of this energy, which takes place on an unconscious level, and this in turn interferes with their well-being. According to Eidelberg, the denial of an infantile narcissistic mortification can be responsible for many defensive mechanisms.[3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_mortification

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Fear and decision-making in narcissistic personality disorder

Linking psychoanalytic studies with neuroscience has proven increasingly productive for identifying and understanding personality functioning. This article focuses on pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), with the aim of exploring two clinically relevant aspects of narcissistic functioning also recognized in psychoanalysis: fear and decision-making. Evidence from neuroscientific studies of related conditions, such as psychopathy, suggests links between affective and cognitive functioning that can influence the sense of self-agency and narcissistic self-regulation. Attention can play a crucial role in moderating fear and self-regulatory deficits, and the interaction between experience and emotion can be central for decision-making. In this review we will explore fear as a motivating factor in narcissistic personality functioning, and the impact fear may have on decision-making in people with pathological narcissism and NPD. Understanding the processes and neurological underpinnings of fear and decision-making can potentially influence both the diagnosis and treatment of NPD.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3811090/

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Conceit and deceit: Lying, cheating, and stealing among grandiose narcissists

However, because narcissists are principally motivated to pursue their own interests, have lower ethical standards, and are willing to transgress social norms, they can put the institutions they lead at risk. We report three studies showing that individuals who are more narcissistic are more willing to lie, cheat, and steal than those who are less narcissistic. 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886919305598

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

HOW TO DIVORCE YOUR ADULT CHILDREN AND RESTORE YOUR SANITY

What is Real?

I have identified four distinct stages in the journey to wholeness.

Desperate

Our lives become (or continue to be) a carefully constructed illusion based on how it looks, what people will think, and what we imagine will get us the love and security we so desperately crave.

This is why grandmothers continue to “make peace at all costs” rather than saying what they see, need and want. Some have called it the disease to please.

Distant

Pretending that everything is okay when in our hearts we know that is not true can only go so far. We go along to get along. We smile in public and cry in private. We live a lie, and it eats at our souls every day.

Women think if we ignore it, maybe it will go away or time will heal all wounds. The thing is, time doesn’t heal buried pain. It has to be unearthed and acknowledged before it will pass away. Pain that gets buried alive poisons the rest of our lives.

Divorce

Divorce is a harsh word when applied to our mother-child relationships, isn’t it? But it happens whether we acknowledge it or not. Divorce occurs when all communication has broken down and attempts at reconciliation fail.

It is the most painful dark night of the soul. With divorce comes all the drama of severed relationships, he-said she-said finger pointing, and drama triangles where people talk about each other, but never directly to one another so healing could occur. We might as well lawyer up and some do. It’s called Grandparent Rights.

Done

Last is the place of acceptance. There is no anger, no angst, no more bargaining. It is where we accept what life is handing out right now and the fighting is done.

You have decided what you do and do not want, what you will and will not stand for, and are making decisions to move forward with or without the resolution you may have hoped for. You are free to stay or go because you have become dedicated to reality at all costs. https://sixtyandme.com/how-to-divorce-your-adult-children-and-restore-your-sanity/