Posted in Alienated children, Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

NARCISSISTIC BEGINNINGS AND CHILDHOOD

Regarding chronically alienated children, it is estimated that up to 40
percent develop an alignment with the alienator and have no problem over and over again to denigrate and outright reject the other parent and every-thing they say. These children tend to loose the spirit and soul that once nurtured a love for the NPA’s target as they refuse to bite the hand that feeds them by nurturing unwavering hatred. These children are psychologically abused by the alienator and inanely believe the target parent to be evil and horrible, when in fact; it is the NPA who qualifies for that status.

Research studies should be performed regarding NPAs, to assist unskilled
therapists to identify the real abuser instead of inadvertently advocating NPA
deception and blaming the target parent. Even an experienced or renowned
therapist is quite capable of being bamboozled to breach ethical standards
and professional objectivity by treating and performing a custody evaluation
with the child simultaneously.

When narcissistic parents are too absorbed with their own preoccupa-
tions to spend time with their kids, they often raise narcissistic children, or at least children with profound narcissistic vulnerabilities, such as shame-sensitivity and the inability to manage intense negative feelings or to control their own aggressive impulses. Several years ago, a study of elementary-school-aged boys showed that those who were already identified as aggressive were less skillful than their more docile peers at accurately interpreting the behavior of others their age and were more likely to read intentional hostility into an ambiguous situation and respond with a preemptive strike. (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 99)

Often, years pass with exploitative and repetitive brainwashing, denigration, and manipulation of the child against the target parent, and that, as the child matures into a teenager or adult, they become truly incapable of making sound and healthy choices, because irreversible damage has occurred. Few parents maintain the financial and psychological endurance against narcissistic abuse or have the skills to uncover the pettifoggery, before the child’s mind is completely altered and initiated into the alienator’s cult of parenthood. Experts and courts need to appreciate that time is of the essence.

Inexperienced therapists, evaluators, and often judges do not take into
account when a child or teen has been subjected to years of poor behavior
by an NPA prior to divorce or custody disputes and who have imposed such
unbalanced and warped ideas on their offspring. When a teen claims to take
their own stand on making mature adult choices, such a thought pattern
needs to be addressed and corrected. Haven’t we all seen enough parental
and juvenile dysfunction increase in the news over the last decades?

The rates of teen violence and peer crimes are on the rise because so
many NPAs are never home to parent (often out on “business” dates, using
drugs or alcohol) and they refuse to allow the target parent to assist. Often

these types of NPAs will veil their paramour under the guise of being a friend
or babysitter and then further deceive their former spouse and professionals
by remarrying that individual with the hidden intention to cause further hurt
to the target parent through the purchasing of the “synthetic replacement.” It
is not uncommon for the NPA’s extended family to contribute to the alienating
process by participating in concealing such facts.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BypP5tNaxQHWZmFmZGYyY2UtYjg4My00YWE4LTgwZDktNDQ1ZGZlZDk5YzI4/view

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissists, Psychopaths, Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage In -Virtuous Victim Signaling-, Study Finds –

New study links virtue signaling to “Dark Triad” traits. Being accused of “virtue signaling” might sound nice to the uninitiated, but spend much time on social media and you know that it’s actually an accusation of insincerity. Virtue signalers are, essentially, phonies and showoffs – folks who adopt opinions and postures solely to garner praise and sympathy or whose good deeds are tainted by their need for everyone to see just how good they are. Combined with a culture that says only victimhood confers a right to comment on certain issues, it’s a big factor in online pile-ons and one that certainly contributes to social media platforms being such a bummer sometimes.

So: Here’s some fun new research looking at “the consequences and predictors of emitting signals of victimhood and virtue,” published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. The paper — from University of British Columbia researchers Ekin Ok, Yi Qian, Brendan Strejcek, and Karl Aquino — details multiple studies the authors conducted on the subject.

 Narcissists, Psychopaths, Manipulators Are More Likely To Engage In -Virtuous Victim Signaling-, Study Finds –

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

YOU are the Narcissist’s Ego, Self

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

It Hurts, Humiliating to be a Narcissist (Excerpt)

Posted in Alienation, Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

What to Do When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but here’s a little secret: it’s NOT going to go down the way you want it to.

The narcissist isn’t going to cower in shame, cry, or finally see the light of reason. They’ll never allow you to have closure because their entire personality relies on having the upper hand in every interaction.

When a narcissist knows you are onto them, things go from bad to hell before you can even process what’s happening – but that’s exactly the narcissist’s strategy.

If you’re committed to exposing a narcissist, please read the list below before following through. In many cases, exposing a narcissist can backfire and make things much worse for you.

Does this mean you should put up with their abuse? Absolutely not.

However, you should weigh the pros and cons of letting them know you’ve figured them out.

Narcissists define the word “reactionary.” When a narcissist knows you’re onto them, they dial all their worst toxic and abusive qualities up to 10 and go full self-destruct Samson mode.

Gaslighting

Baiting

Fear and Manipulation

 – Projection

You fool! Can’t you see? They’re not the narcissist, you are! (Or so they’ll try to convince you.)

– Leveling

– Devaluation

 – Victimization

– Discarding

– Blackmailing Continue reading “What to Do When the Narcissist Knows You’ve Figured Them Out”

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

When the Narcissist Has to Face Reality

Aging itself can bring about a withering, if not bursting, of the narcissistic bubble. You’re no longer a fresh young thing and are starting to develop wrinkles, bags, sags, or a gray or bald head. Your clothes don’t fit the same way they did before, and you find you can no longer squeeze into your favorite skinny jeans, no matter what you do. Then there’s the inevitable “ma’am” or “sir” that the barista uses in referring to you (yes you, not the person behind you).

The factors that cause the narcissistic bubble to retreat and burst were addressed in an astute article by Eda Goldstein in 1995. Goldstein described what happens somewhere in the middle years when narcissists come to grips with their own failings, exposing their weaknesses to themselves. They can become both enraged and ashamed.

As she noted, there are dangers associated with the sudden coming to grips with reality that can put the individual’s life into a wild tailspin:

“Believing that they should be able to control life and be strong and self-sufficient, individuals with severe narcissistic vulnerability do not allow for human limitations or the effects of life’s vicissitudes… indignation, bitterness, envy, disbelief, and humiliation are commonly expressed and may, in some extreme instances, result in vengeful acts of violence” (pp. 410-411)

The thicker the bubble, in other words, the more damage it leaves when it bursts.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201607/when-the-narcissist-has-face-reality

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Narcissistic mortification

Narcissistic mortification is “the primitive terror of self dissolution, triggered by the sudden exposure of one’s sense of a defective self … it is death by embarrassment“.[1] Narcissistic mortification is a term first used by Sigmund Freud in his last book, Moses and Monotheism,[2] with respect to early injuries to the ego/self. The concept has been widely employed in ego psychology and also contributed to the roots of self psychology.

When narcissistic mortification is experienced for the first time, it may be defined as a sudden loss of control over external or internal reality, or both. This produces strong emotions of terror while at the same time narcissistic libido (also known as ego-libido) or destrudo is built up.[3] Narcissistic libido or ego-libido is the concentration of libido on the self. Destrudo is the opposite of libido and is the impulse to destroy oneself and everything associated with oneself.

Physical sensations and psychological perceptions

An individual’s experience of mortification may be accompanied by both physical and psychological sensations. Physical sensations such as: burning, painful tingling over the body, pain in the chest that slowly expands and spreads throughout the torso, dizziness, nausea, vomiting, sweating, blanching, coldness and numbness can be experienced by the individual suffering from mortification. The psychological sensations described are feeling shocked, exposed, and humiliated. Descriptions of this experience can be, for example: “It feels like I won’t survive” and “I have the absolute conviction that he or she hates me and it’s my fault”. These sensations are always followed by shock, although they may have happened on various occasions, they also prompt the need for the individual suffering to do something both internally and externally, to effect a positive self-image in the eyes of their narcissistic object. Narcissistic mortification is extreme in its intensity, global nature, and its lack of perspective, causing the anxiety associated with it to become traumatic.[1]

Normal versus pathological

In Eidelberg’s view, a normal individual would usually be able to avoid being overwhelmed by internal needs because they recognize these urges in time to bring about their partial discharge. However, Eidelberg does not view occasional outbursts of temper as a sign of disorder. An individual experiencing pathological narcissistic mortification is prone to become fixated on infantile objects, resulting in an infantile form of discharge. He or she cannot be satisfied by the partial discharge of this energy, which takes place on an unconscious level, and this in turn interferes with their well-being. According to Eidelberg, the denial of an infantile narcissistic mortification can be responsible for many defensive mechanisms.[3]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_mortification

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Fear and decision-making in narcissistic personality disorder

Linking psychoanalytic studies with neuroscience has proven increasingly productive for identifying and understanding personality functioning. This article focuses on pathological narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), with the aim of exploring two clinically relevant aspects of narcissistic functioning also recognized in psychoanalysis: fear and decision-making. Evidence from neuroscientific studies of related conditions, such as psychopathy, suggests links between affective and cognitive functioning that can influence the sense of self-agency and narcissistic self-regulation. Attention can play a crucial role in moderating fear and self-regulatory deficits, and the interaction between experience and emotion can be central for decision-making. In this review we will explore fear as a motivating factor in narcissistic personality functioning, and the impact fear may have on decision-making in people with pathological narcissism and NPD. Understanding the processes and neurological underpinnings of fear and decision-making can potentially influence both the diagnosis and treatment of NPD.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3811090/

Posted in Linda Turner, Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder), Recovery

The Die Hard Narcissist

Wow, this is one to watch out for, the one that will do you harm, the one you will need to get away from.

Things to watch out for:-

POSSESSIONS– They don’t put any value on anything you buy for them. You could spend hours pondering over the perfect gift for the Narc but it will mean nothing to them. It will just be discarded along with all the other possessions they have accumulated over the years. That is of course unless it is something that will enhance their looks to make them even more adorable to themselves.

So don’t waste your time and delude yourself that the treasured gift you gave to them will be cherished, cared for, adored and proudly displayed – NO GET REAL – its nothing to them, its meaningless and the sooner you get your head around this one the less you will be giving.

ANIMALS/PETS – This is a very sad one. Yes once again animals, pets mean nothing. They may beg you to buy them the cute little puppy, the sweet little kitten, the thoroughbred horse to show off on. But when the novelty wears off, when the little puppy grows up and is no longer admired by friends, when the cute little kitten pees on the carpet, when the thoroughbred horse does not win every competition, then you will see the true character of the narcissist.

Then one day if the animal/pet (if its not discarded first) becomes old or ill and has to be put down, just observe their behavior. Are there any tears? Do they comfort that beloved pet they always wanted? Do they feel sadness?

PEOPLE – This is a tough one. When a close member of the family is very ill, do they go and visit them and spend time with them or call them and ask how they are? Or do they just appear on the outside to care and say the right thing but do nothing? When an elderly relative dies, a grandparent, an aunt or and uncle, do they even acknowledge it? Do they send a message of sympathy? Do they send their condolences to the remaining family? Do they send flowers or cards to show their sympathy?

I think you know the answer to this, they will either pretend they care but do absolutely nothing and make excuses, or if they are the die hard type they wont even pretend.

So if you observe some or any of these behaviors, and this is not a comprehensive list, ITS TIME TO GET OUT, yes you heard me, GET OUT, GET AWAY.

If you keep forgiving, feeling sorry for them, thinking they will change, you will end up ill and as damaged as they are.

GET OUT – SEEK HELP – RECOVER – AND START TO LIVE A NORMAL LIFE AGAIN.

Linda – True stories

Posted in Malignant Narcissism, Narcissism, Narcopath, NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)

Conceit and deceit: Lying, cheating, and stealing among grandiose narcissists

However, because narcissists are principally motivated to pursue their own interests, have lower ethical standards, and are willing to transgress social norms, they can put the institutions they lead at risk. We report three studies showing that individuals who are more narcissistic are more willing to lie, cheat, and steal than those who are less narcissistic. 

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886919305598