NPD almost never comes isolated. It is usually diagnosed with other Cluster B Personality Disorders (especially Histrionic PD and Antisocial PD). A single, clearly delineated personality disorder is exceedingly rare. The norm is double or triple diagnoses from various axes (with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, for instance).
But a seductive behaviour is not an NPD trait.
Here is what the authoritative “Review of General Psychiatry” has to say:
“HPD must be differentiated from … NPD. These disorders may coexist in some combination with HPD, in which case all relevant diagnoses may be assigned.”
“… (NPDs) have far greater contempt for the sensitivities of others than those with HPD …”
When your parent attempts to cross a boundary or draw you back into their twisted bonds, keep up your guard and refuse to engage emotionally. Admitting that your parent’s behavior is affecting you is feeding the narcissist. Refuse to serve as the supply for their power and pain games.
Stalkers often exhibit narcissistic behavior — a tendency to control everyone in their lives, and particularly their victims. The behavior can even go on for years.
Do you think it is possible for someone to stalk you for 18 years? One Reddit user has had this particular problem. She described the situation where her ex went from being totally fine when he was in contact with her to becoming completely unstable and vengeful once she cut him off. He has been calling, texting, and showing up at her place of work consistently for almost 18 years.
The disturbing fact? She didn’t even know he was a narcissist until after she ended the relationship.
Narcissism and Stalking — What Is the Connection?
Not every narcissist is a stalker, but the probability of a narcissist becoming a stalker is high. Narcissists don’t handle rejection well because they see it as it’s a type of criticism or even a personal attack.
The resounding theme is: “This is not about me; it’s about you.” Your fault, your problem to fix, your lack of attention to something. A lot of times, a narcissist will glance around them and accuse numerous people within their social circle or family as being narcissists. They are masters of projection, often oblivious to the ways they abuse, entangle, manipulate, and poison others.
“Because of the way narcissistic people operate and think, they have a tough time connecting with people in a deeper way—without inviting chaos and conflict in at some point. Because of this, it’s hard for them to sustain relationships over time. They may be the person who wants lasting romantic love so badly, but they don’t realize that what they are seeking is someone to worship them in an unreasonable way,” says Dr. Ho.
She adds, “You basically have to worship the ground they walk on, validate them, and coddle them. And if you are way too successful, they are always going to have issues with you. They may even act like they are supportive of you if they know doing so will make them look good or help them with a connection. But, secretly, another person’s greatness infuriates them.”
So what’s a malignant narcissists punishment? Its their existence. Its their inner prison. Its waking up every day into their life that despite possessions, power, and status symbols that they may have they hate deep down. And then one day they die, and its all over. That’s the sad reality of a wasted and miserable life. And that’s their natural punishment.
Do you think people who beat, rape, shout at, con, and otherwise abuse others are happy people? Do you think you can abuse a child and still be a genuinely happy person? Do you think you can sexually and physically abuse someone and feel authentic happiness?
Do you think it really matters that some of them have money or a respectable job? Sure, money can provide a sense of safety, and having social power can indeed be useful. But ultimately, the price that they pay for it is an even bigger loss of self. This makes their feelings of misery and self-loathing even stronger. And its not like they wake up one day and change their mind and behavior. All the lies, deception, hiding, being abusive, creating stories and justifications, fighting with people all of it continues to spread and pile up.
Eventually decent people dont want to associate with them, but they are older and more miserable, so they start feeling more and more desperation. Some of them try to change their behavior out of fear of mortality or loneliness or need for narcissistic supply. Some try to guilt-trip or shame or bully others into giving them resources, but it becomes harder and harder.
Some don’t even have the stomach for it, or will get only so far before they give up from fear, intimidation, and/or sheer exhaustion.
And never expect them to run out of steam or back down. They thrive on running you ragged, on ‘winning’, on seeing you punished for daring to go up against them.
Remember when your narcissistic ex made you feel like YOU were the crazy one because they could NEVER be wrong about anything EVER!? They could argue that the sky is red and, in the end, make you think you had it all wrong this whole time by thinking it was blue.
You know exactly what I’m talking about my fellow sufferers of narcissistic spouses.
And if you need a refresher on how a narcissist operates, listen here:
A therapist must also maintain his or her boundaries at all times. This means that the therapy must be focused at all times on the patient, the patients problems and not the therapist. The therapist should not reveal any intimate information about himself or herself to the patient, and the therapist should not engage in any type of business, sexual, social or personal relationship with the patient other than psychotherapy. When a therapist fails to act in the above manner, it is a considered a breach of boundaries.”