Given that psychological abusers minimize and dismiss your emotions, it’s quite common in this process to think “This is stupid” or “I’m making this all up” or “I’m actually to blame”. In fact, you might notice a lot of your healing has been done from the mindset of “What’s wrong with me?”. Again, just include these in your kind awareness. It won’t be easy at first, because these anxieties and doubts have been etched deeply in your thinking. But as you embrace these thoughts every day, the awareness will grow stronger.
taken from:-https://www.psychopathfree.com//articles/unraveling-ptsd-after-narcissistic-abuse.365/ click the link to read the full article
The narcissist believes his own illusions, and is blind to the fact that others can see through them. For those people who are outside the circle of Narcissistic Supply, they can see the games that are being played, having lost respect for him, they wisely give the narcissist a wide berth. Impervious in his armor of grandiosity, the narcissist blindly lives in his ivory tower, where he believes that he is hugely impressive to everybody. He displays his grandiosity daily in his exaggerated delusional fantasies of wealth, power, or omnipotence. He is such a megalomaniac, that whatever he talks about, (whether it be work, family, possessions, health, achievements, etc.) he is always the one who is being celebrated, for he is the shining star within all of his stories. Any success another person has in his story is attributed to him; he is the one who takes the responsibility for his family, his home, his company, because everybody else is undependable, uncooperative, or incompetent. Even though he manipulates many people to do things for him, he constantly complains that nobody ever helps him. Having got help from others, he then goes on to denigrate their abilities and contributions. All this is done to inspire more sympathy or admiration for himself, which he craves. If you ever got a chance to visit him in his Kingdom, you would find that everybody around him are not only pulling their weight, but carrying the narcissists share as well. Once you understand the personality you are dealing with, it is easy to see that the narcissist’s addiction to grandiosity is linked with his strong susceptibility to shame. The shame is in relation to failed aspirations and ideals, plaguing and unsatisfactory early object relationships, and narcissistic manifestations with shame at their core. Their inability to process their shame in a healthy way means that they are unable to face up to it, and neutralize it so that they can move on to become a healthier individual. It is this inability that leads to the characteristic postures, attitudes, and behaviour of the Grandiose Narcissist.
read the article here:- The narcissist believes his own illusions
eparating yourself from the sort of codependency that’s common from Narcissistic Parents may seem daunting. Sure, they were emotionally (or physically)(or both) abusive, but your Narcissistic Parent is STILL your parent.
As an Adult Child of a Narcissistic Parent, you have two options:
1) Total Estrangement – no contact, nothing, with your Narcissistic Parent.
2) Measured Contact – contact, but limited interaction with Narcissistic Parent.
If you choose to keep measured contact with your Narcissistic Parent, be very sure to follow some strict, clear guidelines:
- Create very clear boundaries. Don’t reward your parent for crossing them. Be clear, but firm. If they show up unannounced, explain nicely that you are too busy to visit with them.
- Shield your own children from their Narcissistic Grandparent. They do not need to be exposed to their toxic behaviors.
- Rather than explain that you do not want to hear their advice, echo and mirror whatever the Narcissistic Parent says. Do whatever you’d planned to do anyway.
- Go through a third party as your Narcissistic Parent ages – do not allow them to rely upon you and you alone as they need care.
- Provide information on a “need to know” basis only. Just because your Narcissistic Parent tells you everything doesn’t mean you must reciprocate.
– See more at: http://www.bandbacktogether.com/adult-children-of-Narcissistic-parents-resources/#sthash.vvM5RZCs.dpuf