Driven by Envy and Personal Inadequacy

At her core, the female psychopath may not like herself. But it rarely helps to feel sorry for her. No matter what you do for her, no matter what you give her, she will remain ungrateful. She is likely extremely envious and desires to obtain everything that she wants since she believes she was cheated out of life’s bounty, and it is up to her to even the score.

What she wants is impossible to get: Why aren’t movie producers banging down her door? Why doesn’t she have the long legs of a Rockette? Mind you, what she wants has no end and brings her no satisfaction. She appreciates nothing. 

Beware if she offers you gossip as confidential information. She is telling others the same stories, many of which might be half-truths or even full-blown lies. She may be highly adept at sidling up to people. She will size you up in a moment while you are still trying to figure her out.

Why Do Pathological Narcissists Stalk Their Exes?

Stalkers often exhibit narcissistic behavior — a tendency to control everyone in their lives, and particularly their victims. The behavior can even go on for years.

Do you think it is possible for someone to stalk you for 18 years? One Reddit user has had this particular problem. She described the situation where her ex went from being totally fine when he was in contact with her to becoming completely unstable and vengeful once she cut him off. He has been calling, texting, and showing up at her place of work consistently for almost 18 years.

The disturbing fact? She didn’t even know he was a narcissist until after she ended the relationship.

Narcissism and Stalking — What Is the Connection?

Not every narcissist is a stalker, but the probability of a narcissist becoming a stalker is high. Narcissists don’t handle rejection well because they see it as it’s a type of criticism or even a personal attack.

How narcissists reel you in!

Reaching out on important dates

Making contact during the holidays or your birthday can be a way to get you to answer their texts or phone calls. 

They may also send you messages like “Congratulations on the new job!” to lower your guard and make you believe they take a sincere interest in your accomplishments.

What phrases do narcissists use?

They’ll hurl poison at their victim, such as:

“You’re a bad person.” “Nobody else will ever love you.” “I’m the best you’ll ever have.” “Have fun being alone for the rest of your life.”

They often don’t know they are narcissists—because they think everyone else is.

The resounding theme is: “This is not about me; it’s about you.” Your fault, your problem to fix, your lack of attention to something. A lot of times, a narcissist will glance around them and accuse numerous people within their social circle or family as being narcissists. They are masters of projection, often oblivious to the ways they abuse, entangle, manipulate, and poison others.

“Because of the way narcissistic people operate and think, they have a tough time connecting with people in a deeper way—without inviting chaos and conflict in at some point. Because of this, it’s hard for them to sustain relationships over time. They may be the person who wants lasting romantic love so badly, but they don’t realize that what they are seeking is someone to worship them in an unreasonable way,” says Dr. Ho.

She adds, “You basically have to worship the ground they walk on, validate them, and coddle them. And if you are way too successful, they are always going to have issues with you. They may even act like they are supportive of you if they know doing so will make them look good or help them with a connection. But, secretly, another person’s greatness infuriates them.”

So what’s a malignant narcissists punishment?

So what’s a malignant narcissists punishment? Its their existence. Its their inner prison. Its waking up every day into their life that despite possessions, power, and status symbols that they may have they hate deep down. And then one day they die, and its all over. That’s the sad reality of a wasted and miserable life. And that’s their natural punishment.

The only thing harder than being married to a narcissist is divorcing one.

Some don’t even have the stomach for it, or will get only so far before they give up from fear, intimidation, and/or sheer exhaustion.

And never expect them to run out of steam or back down. They thrive on running you ragged, on ‘winning’, on seeing you punished for daring to go up against them.

Remember when your narcissistic ex made you feel like YOU were the crazy one because they could NEVER be wrong about anything EVER!? They could argue that the sky is red and, in the end, make you think you had it all wrong this whole time by thinking it was blue.

You know exactly what I’m talking about my fellow sufferers of narcissistic spouses.

And if you need a refresher on how a narcissist operates, listen here:

Continue reading “The only thing harder than being married to a narcissist is divorcing one.”

Co-Parenting with a Narcissist

The problem with proving narcissistic personality disorder in court is the time, expense, and difficulty to actually prove it. 

The effort will be exhausting and expensive and, in the end, could prove futile. The family court system simply isn’t set up to deal with the sh*t-storm associated with narcissism or other personality disorders, for that matter.

Highly-skilled NPD charmers easily dupe the courts, like they do most people. A judge may not see that your NPD co-parent is simply using the court to torture and control you through the kids.

I’ve known a few brave souls to attempt to prove to a judge that their ex is indeed a raging narcissist. None could. In fact, one brave woman tried for over four years – court dates, mandated evaluations, even lobbying government – but nothing came of it.

Continue reading “Co-Parenting with a Narcissist”

Psychoanalysis and Hidden Narrative

While feeling they deserve to be recognized for their specialness, unlike the Arrogant/Overt Narcissist, the Covert/Shy Narcissist is plagued by self-doubts and thus does not as readily seek the affirmation from others he or she believes is due.  Moreover, because of this strong sense of worthlessness, this type of narcissist often will not seek out appropriate friends or romantic partners because they fear exposure as frauds; for this reason their associates tend to be conspicuously inferior to themselves.  Cooper observes that this narcissist, �secretly harbors fantasies that he or she is engaged in a heroic rescue of someone of lesser capabilities.�  And, when their friends and associates offer praise, the Shy/Covert Narcissist believes that this admiration is phony and insincere.  They tend to devote a considerable amount of time ruminating over the unfairness of how little their true worth is appreciated and how others get the recognition for things that they themselves did.

You’re Secretly a Narcissist Masquerading as a Sensitive Introvert

  1.  I can become entirely absorbed in thinking about my personal affairs, my health, my cares or my relations to others.
  2. ___ My feelings are easily hurt by ridicule or the slighting remarks of others.
  3. ___ When I enter a room I often become self-conscious and feel that the eyes of others are upon me.
  4. ___ I dislike sharing the credit of an achievement with others.
  5. ___ I feel that I have enough on my hand without worrying about other people’s troubles.
  6. ___ I feel that I am temperamentally different from most people.
  7. ___ I often interpret the remarks of others in a personal way.
  8. ___ I easily become wrapped up in my own interests and forget the existence of others.
  9. ___ I dislike being with a group unless I know that I am appreciated by at least one of those present.
  10. ___ I am secretly “put out” or annoyed when other people come to me with their troubles, asking me for their time and sympathy.
  11. ___ I am jealous of good-looking people.
  12. ___ I tend to feel humiliated when criticized.
  13. ___ I wonder why other people aren’t more appreciative of my good qualities.
  14. ___ I tend to see other people as being either great or terrible.
  15. ___ I sometimes have fantasies about being violent without knowing why.
  16. ___ I am especially sensitive to success and failure.
  17. ___ I have problems that nobody else seems to understand.
  18. ___ I try to avoid rejection at all costs.
  19. ___ My secret thoughts, feelings, and actions would horrify some of my friends.
  20. ___ I tend to become involved in relationships in which I alternately adore and despise the other person.
  21. ___ Even when I am in a group of friends, I often feel very alone and uneasy.
  22. ___ I resent others who have what I lack.
  23. ___ Defeat or disappointment usually shame or anger me, but I try not to show it.
Continue reading “You’re Secretly a Narcissist Masquerading as a Sensitive Introvert”