The loyalty bind with a narcissist is different than other loyalty binds, in that it requires the individual involved with the narc to choose between the narcissist and herself. And of course, when you’re the child of the narcissist it is no contest. The child will choose her parent’s desires every time. One woman explained to her therapist when he asked her to visualize her abusive mother as a lion and put her in a cage. The therapist wanted his client to realize she could walk away safely from her mother, whom the client perceived as dangerous. What the therapist failed to comprehend was the plight of a narcissist’s child’s experience with regard to the loyalty bind. This woman explained to the therapist, “As a child of a narcissist, I will get inside the cage with the lion.” This grown “child” has been indoctrinated, brainwashed, conditioned, trained, and programmed to do whatever her parent wants – no questions asked. She has learned well that she is to be loyal to her parent,
The 21st Century has brought with it a narcissistic epidemic, and a flood of traumatised victims that end up in the therapy room. Unfortunately, Narcissism and Narcissistic Victim Abuse (NVS) are subjects that most therapists are unaware of, leaving them ill equipped for recognizing and working with victims suffering from this devastating form of abuse, an abuse that strips them of their identity. From the boardroom to the bedroom, narcissists are everywhere; they can be parents, partners, friends, bosses, siblings—no one is safe. This form of abuse goes way beyond physical and psychological injury, it strikes at the very soul of the victim, leaving them wondering whether they are literally going mad. It is imperative for everyone to understand the relationship dynamics that exists between the narcissist and their victims, i.e. their need for entitlement, control, power, grandiosity and specialness.
read more here:- http://narcissisticbehavior.net/
Daughters of narcissistic fathers often describe feeling “unsatiated” when it to comes to getting what they needed from their fathers. They never got enough and would have to compete with siblings for time with Dad. As a young child, Dad would comment on how beautiful you were. But as you grew older, he would rarely miss out on commenting on weight and attitude. You probably carry these concerns into adulthood, even if you found success. With a Dad like this, it’s never enough. With men (or women), you often feel vulnerable and worried you’ll be dumped for someone else. Anxiously avoiding commitment or taking on the narcissitic role are both natural ways to keep relationships safe; it’s understanble and self protective.(But, you lose.)
A daughter needs her dad’s adoration; it validates her and helps her internalize her specialness. Healthy fathers give their girls that gift. You are special and deserve love, for being you.