Posted in BPD - The Emotionally Unstable, child abuse and emotional abuse, Child neglect and emotional abuse, Children's emotional difficulties, Emotional Abuse - parental alienation, Emotional Abuse - PAS Children, Emotional Abuse or Parental Alienation?, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Emotional wellbeing of teenagers

Practitioners working with children aged 13-18 years may observe some of the key features described in the previous section. Getting help for the child and family as early as possible gives the best chance of a good outcome. Neglect and emotional abuse are often not recognised in teenagers and even where they are they may not be taken seriously by professionals. Not much is known about their personal experiences, as there is a lack of research which identifies the feelings, or experiences of this population. Many of the behaviours exhibited by emotionally abused or neglected teenagers may be interpreted by others as a lifestyle choice or ‘acting out’ when they may in fact be an indicator of neglect or emotional abuse. Consequently their conduct may lead them to enter the juvenile justice system rather than the child protection system. A better understanding of teenage neglect and emotional abuse may enable teenagers to access appropriate and timely help.

• All practitioners coming into contact with teenagers who exhibit the behaviours and issues above must actively consider neglect or emotional maltreatment, rather than simply addressing the problems they present, such as alcohol use.

• Remember, teenagers who have experienced neglect or emotional abuse may be particularly vulnerable to other forms of victimisation; therefore appropriate action should be taken.

• A sensitive exploration of teenagers’ experiences may help professionals understand their situation, and allow the teenagers to access appropriate support themselves.

• Hospital emergency departments and mental health providers need to be particularly aware that teenagers, especially the victims of violence, may be experiencing neglect or emotional maltreatment.

While early recognition and intervention are vital, it is never too late to help a child or teenager. If concerns about possible neglect or emotional abuse arise it is important you take action as soon as possible regardless of the age of the teenager.

If you have a concern you can call the police, social services or the NSPCC (0808 800 5000). And remember that children can contact ChildLine 24/7 (0800 1111; childline.org.uk).

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/globalassets/documents/advice-and-info/core-info-neglect-emotional-abuse-teenagers-13-18.pdf

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Posted in BORDERLINE (EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE) PERSONALITY DISORDER, BPD - The Emotionally Unstable, child abuse and emotional abuse, Child neglect and emotional abuse, Children's emotional difficulties, Parental Alienation PA

Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)

Fear, Obligation And Guilt: How We Allow Loved Ones To Control Us

In their 1997 book, Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You, authors Susan Forward, Ph.D. and Donna Frazier state that “emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which people close to us threaten to punish us for not doing what they want. Emotional blackmailers know how much we value our relationships with them. They know our vulnerabilities and our deepest secrets. They can be our parents or partners, bosses or coworkers, friends or lovers. No matter how much they care about us, they use this intimate knowledge to win our compliance.” According to Forward and Frazier, fear, obligation and guilt (“FOG”) are the tools of emotional manipulators.

“Emotional Blackmail” and “FOG”, terms coined by psychotherapist Susan Forward, Ph.D., are about controlling relationships and the theory that fear, obligation or guilt (“FOG”) are the transactional dynamics at play between the controller and the person being controlled.  Understanding these dynamics are useful to anyone trying to extricate themselves from the controlling behavior by another person and deal with their own compulsions to do things that are uncomfortable, undesirable, burdensome, or self-sacrificing for others.

Fear, Obligation and Guilt (FOG)

Posted in Children's emotional difficulties, Parental Alienation PA

Children’s emotional difficulties

Children often display symptoms of anxiety which are not always picked up immediately. When there are stressors in their environments or if they have experienced a difficult event, children need to make sense and understand what has happened. This is not necessarily a problem, because making sense of positive and negative experiences is part of growing up, and helps to build a child’s resilience. However, some children can struggle to integrate their experiences or may not feel comfortable enough to approach adults for support.

http://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellor-articles/how-to-support-your-child-with-anxieties