Posted in #child alienation, #Pathogenic Parenting, Alienation, Alienation - The act of cutting off, Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A Long Goodbye

Dear Mikey, I apologise if my last letter appeared to be addressed more to Mamma and me than it was to you. That happens with writing sometimes. I have a destination in mind at the beginning, only …

Source: A Long Goodbye

Posted in Alienation, Alienation - The act of cutting off, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, Alienator Personality Disorders, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Understanding Stages of Grief applied to Parents Affected by PA

Imagine a similar pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.

The effects of Parental Alienation, Parental Child Abduction and retention are very similar to the loss of a child in some other way. However, the bereavement cannot end.

This feeling of bereavement can also affect the child that an abducting/alienating parent claims to love and can have serious emotional scars that can remain for a long period of time – If not for a lifetime.

Yet, parental child abduction and parental alienation remain as silent abuses that the effects never seem to be fully understood unless you or your family have to cope with this trauma yourselves.

Even parents that are lucky enough to have any contact whatsoever with their children, Parental Alienation, where a custodial parent maliciously tries to destroy the relationship between the child and target parent, rips the innocent child from their arms slowly. They witness the suffering. They witness the effects but they feel powerless to do anything about it.

The very sad part of this is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by Parental alienation and also thousands of cases involving parental child abduction but it is only recently that law professionals are starting to sit up and take notice of the traumatic emotional damage that this can cause target families and children.

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Posted in Alienation - The act of cutting off, Parental Alienation PA

Alienation – The act of cutting off or interfering with an individual’s relationships with others.

Alienation may be absolute, where all the victim’s relationships are sabotaged equally, or it may be targeted towards a particular type of relationship. For example, the victim may be cut off from social friendships; family relationships; professional relationships; contact with members of a group, club or organization; or contact with members of a particular gender, race, social status or religion.

A personality-disordered individual may frown on their victim having social relationships outside the home. They may try to break those relationships by making up shocking or accusing stories about either the non-personality-disordered (Non-PD) individual – or about the person the Non-PD is trying to befriending. The Non-PD may face consequences or punishments as a result of making or maintaining contact with a person who is not on thean “approved” list.

In the case of chosen relationships, partners are often pressured to avoid contact with their own siblings, parents or extended family. In the case of unchosen (family) relationships, the Non-PD’s romantic relationships, partnerships or marriages may be sabotaged.

Professional relationships may also be the target of alienation attacks by a personality-disordered individual.

The most widely reported form of alienation is parental alienation – where a parent tries to sabotage the relationship their child has with the other parent. This is quite common when divorcing someone who has a personality disorder.

Alienation may be overt or covert.

In overt alienation, the victim knows the abuser discourages or disapproves of a relationship. They may be confronted with threats of consequences or a system of rewards and punishments as an incentive to reduce or break off contact.

In covert alienation, the victim is not aware of the activities of the abuser. The abuser may attempt to subtly manipulate the victim’s habits or routine to reduce the incidence of contact with another person using diversions. The abuser may also use distortion campaigns or manipulations to divert friends or family away from contact with the victim. The abuser may also recruit proxies or third parties to directly or unwittingly sabotage or compromise a relationship.

Related Personality Disorders:

Alienation is a common occurrence in relationships involving people who suffer from Antisocial Personality Disorder, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Dependent Personality Disorder,Histrionic Personality Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder,Paranoid Personality Disorder, Schizoid Personality Disorder, Schizotypal Personality Disorder.

What it feels like:

Alienation is a form of emotional abuse. We need social contact to maintain a healthy emotional state as much as our bodies need food and water to maintain a healthy physical state. If we are socially malnourished, we may begin to exhibit symptoms of depression, such as anger, insomnia, loss of appetite, or low energy.

When somebody denies us access to loved ones, friends and family, it can be as damaging as being denied physical needs such as sleep and nutrition. If you are an adult and your actions pose no direct threat of physical or emotional harm to others, no one has the right to control who you can and can’t see or where you can and can’t go.

When we are malnourished and abused in this way, we are vulnerable to making poor personal choices. We may revert to ineffective behaviors to try to resolve the issue such as anger, retaliation, begging, bargaining or sneaking around.

If we are subject to chronic alienation, we are prone to progress through the classic five stages of grief – anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Once we reach acceptance, we are apt to become enablersof the abuse, denying ourselves the very thing we need most to become healthy. We may avoid contact with outsiders, defend our position, avoid scrutiny and avoid situations which threaten to shine a light on our plight. This process is sometimes referred to as Learned Helplessness or Stockholm Syndrome.

Posted in Alienation, Alienation & Reuniting, Alienation - The act of cutting off

Alienation is a Human Tragedy

Alienated  Grandparents  Anonymous Incorporated

                                             International Headquarters          

Posted in Alienation, Alienation - The act of cutting off, Alienator Personality Disorders

Symptom Checklist-90-Revised Scores in Adult Children Exposed to Alienating Behaviors

This study addresses a particular form of child psychological maltreatment, exposing a child to alienating behaviors in the context of a high degree of conflict between the parents. The objective of this research was to identify retrospectively the alienating behaviors that occurred in an Italian sample of children and the reported associated psychosocial symptoms. Seven hundred and thirty-nine adults in Chieti, Italy, completed an anonymous and confidential survey regarding their childhood exposure to parental alienating behaviors and measures of current symptomatology. About 75% of the sample reported some exposure to parental alienating behaviors; 15% of the sample endorsed the item, “tried to turn me against the other parent.” The results revealed strong and statistically significant associations between reported exposure to parental alienating behaviors and reports of current symptomatology.

winners and losers

Posted in A Severely Alienated Child of Parental Alienation Syndrome, Alienation, Alienation & Reuniting, Alienation - The act of cutting off

Alienation a normal reaction? Maybe, after 1 year. What about 25 years?

Alienation a normal reaction? Maybe, after 1 year. What about 15 years?

As noted by Dr. Bernet, a Vanderbilt University psychiatrist, “We don’t want to label kids unnecessarily, but these kids are not reacting in a normal way.” “We’re talking about kids who have a false belief, a little like a delusion, that the other parent is an evil, dangerous person. To me that looks and sounds like a mental disorder.” Obviously, the alienating parent needs help. But, as pointed out by Jaffe et al. (2010) “a minority of parents who suffer from personality and mental disorders may ignore the court and spend their waking hours finding ways to exhaust the other parent emotionally and financially.” I do not imagine the parents noted by Jaffe et al. would voluntarily seek help nor do they care about stopping the denigration.

Divorce Poison