Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult children of Narcissistic parents, Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Adult Children of Narcissists, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, BEING A CHILD OF NARCISSISTS, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A Narcissist Cannot Apologize or Take Accountability

An individual with narcissistic personality disorder has a hair line trigger to any criticism real or imagined, and cannot be ‘wrong’. This creates a highly abusive situation for a person in a narcissistic relationship, because the narcissistic personality will perform outrageous abusive crimes and will take no responsibility for his or her actions.

According to the narcissist, he or she is above reproach and it is always someone else’s fault. The narcissist will use all sorts of malicious weapons to avoid taking responsibility and apologising, including adamantly and righteously denying any wrong doing, using lies as weapons to distract, citing that he or she did apologise when no credible apology was forthcoming, projecting by reaching into past unrelated incidents to use any slight he or she can muster against the other person, or by creating abandonment or threats to abusively make the other person back down or take on the fault instead.

When trying to get a narcissist to be accountable for painful, abusive and pathological acts, hooking into being abused is certain, and accountability from the narcissistic personality impossible. If trying to make a narcissist take responsibility and say ‘sorry’, the harder you try the harder the narcissist will hit back. Non-narcissistic individuals who possess a conscience are no match for the conscienceless narcissist. Be very aware that if he or she is cornered, the narcissist is more likely to devalue and discard you, exit the relationship, and abandon ‘loving you’ rather than be accountable and risk injuring his or her false self. Continue reading “A Narcissist Cannot Apologize or Take Accountability”

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Posted in ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, And Manipulation Are Key Tools, How to Heal From a Toxic Parent, Manipulative People, Motivations of manipulators, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Recovery, Surviving, Surviving Parental Alienation!!, Toxic stress

Toxic People You Should Avoid

1. The Gossip

2. The Temperamental

3. The Victim

4. The Self-Absorbed

5. The Envious

6. The Manipulator

7. The Dementor

8. The Twisted

9. The Judgmental

10. The Arrogant

Once you’ve identified a toxic person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when and where you don’t. You can establish boundaries, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively.

Word Art 15 (2) Continue reading “Toxic People You Should Avoid”

Posted in ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, How to Heal From a Toxic Parent, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Recovery, Surviving, Surviving Parental Alienation!!, Surviving the Narcissistic Parent, Toxic stress

Toxic people defy logic

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons.

Word Art 15 (5)

As important as it is to learn how to deal with different kinds of people, truly toxic people will never be worth your time and energy—and they take a lot of each. Toxic people create unnecessary complexity, strife, and, worst of all, stress.

“People inspire you, or they drain you—pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen

People Who Are One-Sided

People Who Are Passive Aggressive

People Who Lack Forgiveness And Trust

People Who Are Punitive

Continue reading “Toxic people defy logic”

Posted in Alienation, Alienation - The act of cutting off, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, Alienator Personality Disorders, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Understanding Stages of Grief applied to Parents Affected by PA

Imagine a similar pain and the same sense of loss, with one exception-the parent is very much aware that the child is alive.

The effects of Parental Alienation, Parental Child Abduction and retention are very similar to the loss of a child in some other way. However, the bereavement cannot end.

This feeling of bereavement can also affect the child that an abducting/alienating parent claims to love and can have serious emotional scars that can remain for a long period of time – If not for a lifetime.

Yet, parental child abduction and parental alienation remain as silent abuses that the effects never seem to be fully understood unless you or your family have to cope with this trauma yourselves.

Even parents that are lucky enough to have any contact whatsoever with their children, Parental Alienation, where a custodial parent maliciously tries to destroy the relationship between the child and target parent, rips the innocent child from their arms slowly. They witness the suffering. They witness the effects but they feel powerless to do anything about it.

The very sad part of this is it is not unique. There are hundreds of thousands of children and parents affected by Parental alienation and also thousands of cases involving parental child abduction but it is only recently that law professionals are starting to sit up and take notice of the traumatic emotional damage that this can cause target families and children.

read more Continue reading “Understanding Stages of Grief applied to Parents Affected by PA”

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, Destructive Narcissism, destructive narcissist pattern (DNP), How do you survive a narcissist father?, HOW TO SURVIVE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, Parental Alienation PA

Dr. Jekyll and the evil Mr.(s). Hyde

It won’t be long before you will become privy to your narcissists frightening temper.  At first their rage will be indirect, aimed at someone else.  This demonstration of their power functions in such a way that it serves to intimidate and control others, including you.  You are also likely to witness physical outbursts, like demonstratively putting their fists through a solid wall, breaking or throwing things, hurling abuse; and it won’t be too long after that when you will be on the receiving end of the violence.   All of these tactics, along with their scathing criticism of you are designed to erode your self-esteem, your confidence, and give them even more control over you.  The more fearful you become, the more they will rule by fear, it is as if their power is an aphrodisiac to them.  As a result of the fear you will be subjected to, you will find yourself becoming highly vigilant, nervous and overly sensitive to every threat, walking on eggshells around your captor.  The more insecure you become, the more powerful your narcissist becomes.

Bit by bit you will become isolated from all your supports; your family, friends and colleagues.  The isolation is likely to happen without your realizing it; it may be through covert and overt acts of criticism in an attempt to turn you against the people you are closest to.  Truth is that your narcissist can feel threatened by outsiders influencing you to see through the illusion they have created, so they need to isolate you.  Their behaviour will become so demanding that you will withdraw rather than go through this punishing and tortuous interrogation every time you want to meet up with anybody.  Friends and family tend to become tired of all the excuses you make, and they step back from you.  Before you know what has happened, you are isolated, and job done for the narcissist.

Throughout this crazy behaviour, just to confuse things more, your narcissist switches to being a sweetheart.   You see the person you fell in love with suddenly emerge once again.  You’re beautiful Dr. Jekyll returns, and the evil Mr.(s). Hyde disappears out of sight, and your heart begins to sing once again.  Your guards come down; you move close to your beloved once again, this move towards them melts away all the hatred and frustration you were feeling.  You are filled with hope and a renewed optimism for the future, and you cling on with all of your might.  But this phase does not last for long, and very soon you are back to the downward spiral yet again, and along with the fear comes renewed criticism from an even more enraged Mr(s) Hyde.  It is this duality in the human nature of the narcissist (the “pull and push” behaviour) that leads to the Trauma Bonding (Stockholm Syndrome) and co-dependency needs that is so damaging for the victim.  Whatever caused the change to the narcissist’s behaviour, you can be sure it will be your fault, because your narcissist never ever takes responsibility for their behaviour.  Ultimately you are the blame; somehow you provoked whatever “bad” happens.

 

read more here:-Whether a man or a woman, take care not to give your heart too quickly to a narcissist!

Posted in Adult children of Narcissistic parents, Adult Children of Narcissists, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, As Narcissists and narcissistic people age, BEING A CHILD OF NARCISSISTS, COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF TRAITS OF NARCISSISTS, Parental Alienation PA

My Narcissistic Father’s Attempt to Make a Mini-Me

 read the full  story here:- My Narcissistic Father’s Attempt to Make a Mini-Me

Both of my parents are narcissists who divorced when I was six. I resided primarily with my mother and spent every other weekend at my father’s. One Saturday my father arrived unannounced. He had me get in the back seat of his car and said “Here, catch”

An over-sized, leather baseball mitt landed in my lap.

“Uh-oh” I thought.

Back then, my father was a prominent businessman in the town bordering my mothers. So he didn’t take me to little league tryouts where my friends would be. Instead, he took me to the field in the next town over where all his business contacts’ kids were trying out.

See, my father was some hotshot—by his accounts—baseball player in high school and college. Since I was his son, he figured that I’d have the same talent. So he took me to where he could show me off by having his kid mirror his talent. Essentially, he was looking for me to outperform all his friends’ kids so people could see how great he was.

He really should have played at least one game of catch with me first.

Posted in ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX

ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX

A NPA may exonerate their version of “shared parenting,” but in reality, they

practice sole custody with near or total termination of target parent contact

and rights with the children. If the alienator has physical custody (especially

long distance) of the child or teen and the alienation has hit an acute level, it

may become a danger for the target parent to have the child anywhere near

them. Frequently, the target is forced into supervised visitation on frivolous

grounds of “interfering” with the narcissistic alienator’s manipulative rela-
tionship with the children. NPAs often fuel their own behavior by falsely

complaining to the world about the target parent and often conceal the truth

that most of them have joint custody, but mislead others to believe it is sole

custody. If the target parent is upset or reacts angrily at the alienator’s be-
havior, this equates in their narcissistic mind as “proof” that the target parent

is lying. The reality is often that the NPA lives by the motto that former

General Alexander Haig once so eloquently stated: “That’s not a lie; it’s a

terminological inexactitude and a tactical misrepresentation.”

Liz Richards author of the Washington Times commentary on April 23,

2006 and headlined as: “The Other Side of Fathers’ Rights Controversy” re-
ported:

Many professional statistical studies show high win rates for fathers ac-
cused of family abuse along with low rates of false allegations against

fathers, while little is said about the known fact disputing fathers are the

most vicious false accusers. (Richards, 2006, p. 26)

Unadulterated Arrogance 421

Richards expands on the fact that in their 1996 report “Domestic Vio-
lence and the Courtroom,” the American Judges Association in Williamsburg,

Virginia, noted that:

. . . wife batterers and child abusers convince family court officials that

their ex-wives are ‘unfit’ or ‘undeserving’ of sole custody in roughly 70

percent of contested custody battles. Since then, at least 23 states have

conducted gender-bias studies; all with similar findings. (Richards, 2006,

p. 26)

While it is true that most violent narcissists are men who will often re-
quest a protective order or file assault charges against their female victims.

Unfortunately, the courts have paid very little attention to the high rate of

dismissed complaints against mothers and stepparents, initiated by fathers,

because we live in a world where justice can be radically lopsided and nar-
cissists will use the system to the maximum.

Researcher Joanna Ashmun, whose work Narcissistic Personality Disor-
der (NPD): How to Recognize a Narcissist reveals:

The most telling thing that narcissists do is contradict themselves. They

do this virtually in the same sentence, without even stopping to take a

breath. It can be trivial (e.g., about what they want for lunch) or it can

be serious (e.g., about whether or not they love you). When you ask

them which one they mean, they’ll deny ever saying the first one, though

it may literally have been only seconds since they said it—really, how

could you think they’d ever have said that? You need to have your head

examined! They will contradict FACTS.

They will lie to you about things that you did together or about what

opposing counsel and judges state. They will misquote you to yourself.

If you disagree with them, they’ll say you’re lying, making stuff up, or

are crazy. (Ashmun, 2004)

For comparative demonstration, it is interesting to consider Ashmun’s

chart and compare puerile-like characteristics of the NPD and the NPA with

normal six-year-olds.

norm

Furthermore, Joanna Ashmun accurately, and yet provocatively reminds us

that:

Narcissists lack a mature conscience and seem to be restrained only by

fear of being punished or of damaging their reputations—though, again,

this can be obscure to casual observation if you don’t know what they

think their reputations are, and what they believe others think of them

may be way out of touch with reality. Their moral intelligence is about

at the level of a bright five- or six-year-old; the only rules they recognize

are things that have been specifically required, permitted, prohibited,

or disapproved of by authority figures they know personally. Narcissists

can’t be counted on not to do something just because it’s wrong, illegal,

or will hurt someone, as long as they think that they can get away with

it or that you can’t stop them or punish them (i.e., they don’t care what

you think unless they’re afraid of you). (Ashmun, 2004)

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BypP5tNaxQHWZmFmZGYyY2UtYjg4My00YWE4LTgwZDktNDQ1ZGZlZDk5YzI4/view