Posted in Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult Children of Narcissists, Adult Children Of Psychopaths, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Effects of parental alienation include low self-esteem and self-hatred

Why is the World Health Organisation only just now talking about including it into the ICD11? Is this because it is a new area of research?

Parental alienation is a relatively new coined concept which has emerged in research in the 1980s.

Although the existence of parental alienation has probably always existed, it could have easily been termed under other mental and behavioural issues. Furthermore, given that the numbers of separations and divorce are on the increase locally, the incidence of parental alienation might be more observed and visible.

The inclusion of parent alienation is facing resistance from a number of groups. They say the concept is based off of faulty methods or pseudo-science. Why do you think they say so? Continue reading “Effects of parental alienation include low self-esteem and self-hatred”

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Posted in A Family’s Heartbreak, A lesson of life after her parents been divorced, A Solution To End ‘Parental Alienation’?, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult Child Estrangement, Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Quantifying the Degree of Interparental Conflict – the Spectrum Between Conflict and Forms of Maltreatment and Abuse

Interparental conflict is detrimental to the development of children. Only few methods for quantifying the degree of interparental conflict exist and this produces controversies about what is detrimental to child well-being and what is not. This is particularly critical in cases where there is a form of child abuse or maltreatment that cannot be diagnosed because of the lack of standards or criteria. The present study describes a method for quantifying the degree of interparental conflict on the basis of a generalizable measure which is scalable, robust, and reproducible. The method is developed on the data basis of a survey study, in which 1146 parents reported 46,720 items on the topic of hostile-aggressive parenting. The algorithm can estimate the degree of child abuse and child maltreatment which is particularly relevant for assessments of non-sexual forms of child maltreatment or abuse. The present methodology differs from classical psychometric approaches and available instruments in that its application yields the practically interpretable measure of a ‘loss of child well-being’ and that this measure can be dynamically adapted to child welfare standards changing in a society over the years. The approach identifies criteria which family courts or child welfare agencies should use for assessing interparental conflicts in a standardized and reproducible manner.

Continue reading “Quantifying the Degree of Interparental Conflict – the Spectrum Between Conflict and Forms of Maltreatment and Abuse”

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult children of Narcissistic parents, Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents, Adult Children of Narcissists, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, BEING A CHILD OF NARCISSISTS, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

A Narcissist Cannot Apologize or Take Accountability

An individual with narcissistic personality disorder has a hair line trigger to any criticism real or imagined, and cannot be ‘wrong’. This creates a highly abusive situation for a person in a narcissistic relationship, because the narcissistic personality will perform outrageous abusive crimes and will take no responsibility for his or her actions.

According to the narcissist, he or she is above reproach and it is always someone else’s fault. The narcissist will use all sorts of malicious weapons to avoid taking responsibility and apologising, including adamantly and righteously denying any wrong doing, using lies as weapons to distract, citing that he or she did apologise when no credible apology was forthcoming, projecting by reaching into past unrelated incidents to use any slight he or she can muster against the other person, or by creating abandonment or threats to abusively make the other person back down or take on the fault instead.

When trying to get a narcissist to be accountable for painful, abusive and pathological acts, hooking into being abused is certain, and accountability from the narcissistic personality impossible. If trying to make a narcissist take responsibility and say ‘sorry’, the harder you try the harder the narcissist will hit back. Non-narcissistic individuals who possess a conscience are no match for the conscienceless narcissist. Be very aware that if he or she is cornered, the narcissist is more likely to devalue and discard you, exit the relationship, and abandon ‘loving you’ rather than be accountable and risk injuring his or her false self. Continue reading “A Narcissist Cannot Apologize or Take Accountability”

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult children of Narcissistic parents, Adult Children of Narcissists, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Child’s Experience of NPD Abuse

For all the complaints most parents make about spoiled children, children really do have very little power over their parents. This is even more true in the case of a child with an NPD parent, since the child intimately knows the unpredictability, implied threats and intense rages that the parent demonstrates. The child learns early in life to ‘duck and cover’ by constantly appeasing the childish whims (that change with the breeze) of the NPD parent. The child becomes terrified that if they speak to anyone outside of the family about their very ill parent, no one will listen or believe them, since the NPD parent is a master of the ‘false face’ in public. Secondarily, the child is terrified that their complaint will get back to the NPD parent, and they will pay a high penalty for this.

read the complete article here:-http://hubpages.com/health/The-Child-Victim-of-a-Narcissistic-Personality-Disordered-Parent

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, ALIENATION AND THE NARCISSISTIC TOXIC MIX, Destructive Narcissism, destructive narcissist pattern (DNP), How do you survive a narcissist father?, HOW TO SURVIVE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, Parental Alienation PA

Dr. Jekyll and the evil Mr.(s). Hyde

It won’t be long before you will become privy to your narcissists frightening temper.  At first their rage will be indirect, aimed at someone else.  This demonstration of their power functions in such a way that it serves to intimidate and control others, including you.  You are also likely to witness physical outbursts, like demonstratively putting their fists through a solid wall, breaking or throwing things, hurling abuse; and it won’t be too long after that when you will be on the receiving end of the violence.   All of these tactics, along with their scathing criticism of you are designed to erode your self-esteem, your confidence, and give them even more control over you.  The more fearful you become, the more they will rule by fear, it is as if their power is an aphrodisiac to them.  As a result of the fear you will be subjected to, you will find yourself becoming highly vigilant, nervous and overly sensitive to every threat, walking on eggshells around your captor.  The more insecure you become, the more powerful your narcissist becomes.

Bit by bit you will become isolated from all your supports; your family, friends and colleagues.  The isolation is likely to happen without your realizing it; it may be through covert and overt acts of criticism in an attempt to turn you against the people you are closest to.  Truth is that your narcissist can feel threatened by outsiders influencing you to see through the illusion they have created, so they need to isolate you.  Their behaviour will become so demanding that you will withdraw rather than go through this punishing and tortuous interrogation every time you want to meet up with anybody.  Friends and family tend to become tired of all the excuses you make, and they step back from you.  Before you know what has happened, you are isolated, and job done for the narcissist.

Throughout this crazy behaviour, just to confuse things more, your narcissist switches to being a sweetheart.   You see the person you fell in love with suddenly emerge once again.  You’re beautiful Dr. Jekyll returns, and the evil Mr.(s). Hyde disappears out of sight, and your heart begins to sing once again.  Your guards come down; you move close to your beloved once again, this move towards them melts away all the hatred and frustration you were feeling.  You are filled with hope and a renewed optimism for the future, and you cling on with all of your might.  But this phase does not last for long, and very soon you are back to the downward spiral yet again, and along with the fear comes renewed criticism from an even more enraged Mr(s) Hyde.  It is this duality in the human nature of the narcissist (the “pull and push” behaviour) that leads to the Trauma Bonding (Stockholm Syndrome) and co-dependency needs that is so damaging for the victim.  Whatever caused the change to the narcissist’s behaviour, you can be sure it will be your fault, because your narcissist never ever takes responsibility for their behaviour.  Ultimately you are the blame; somehow you provoked whatever “bad” happens.

 

read more here:-Whether a man or a woman, take care not to give your heart too quickly to a narcissist!

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, BEING A CHILD OF NARCISSISTS, Daughters of narcissistic fathers, Destructive Narcissism, destructive narcissist pattern (DNP), HOW TO SURVIVE NARCISSISTIC ABUSE, Parental Alienation PA

Narcissism – The 21st Century Epidemic

The 21st Century has brought with it a narcissistic epidemic, and a flood of traumatised victims that end up in the therapy room.  Unfortunately, Narcissism and  Narcissistic Victim Abuse (NVS) are subjects that most therapists are unaware of, leaving them ill equipped for recognizing and working with victims suffering from this devastating form of abuse, an abuse that strips them of their identity. From the boardroom to the bedroom, narcissists are everywhere; they can be parents, partners, friends, bosses, siblings—no one is safe. This form of abuse goes way beyond physical and psychological injury, it strikes at the very soul of the victim, leaving them wondering whether they are literally going mad. It is imperative for everyone to understand the relationship dynamics that exists between the narcissist and their victims, i.e. their need for entitlement, control, power, grandiosity and specialness.

read more here:- http://narcissisticbehavior.net/

Posted in A Narcissistic Parent, Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult children of Narcissistic parents, Adult Children of Narcissists, Parental Alienation PA

Why Your Narcissistic Parent Needs You

Why Your Narcissistic Parent Needs You

Isn’t is puzzling? No matter how much you ignore your narcissistic parent they keep coming back to you. Even if you say “I don’t want any contact with you,” they’re back.

It’s like trying to stop that stray dog from following you home.

When your narcissistic father is pursuing you, it’s almost possible to believe he loves you.

But he doesn’t. He’s not capable of loving you. He’ll tell you he loves you. But when you think back you realize that he’s never demonstrated unconditional love for you. His “love” has always been conditional on how much adoration and praise you shower on him.

That’s not love.

The Disappearing Narcissistic Parent

Back in the early 90s, I was having a rough time making it, financially speaking. The bad economy decimated the town I was living in. There were few jobs to be found. I found three part-time jobs—the highest paying being $5 per hour—and a $60 a week apartment about the size of a refrigerator box.

I couldn’t afford a car so I walked to work. The nearest grocery store was over a mile away, so I was limited in what I could purchase each trip.

I couldn’t afford a phone, so I couldn’t leave a phone number on job applications to get a higher paying job.

My narcissistic mother knew the situation I was in. She never came around to check on me. Never offered a ride to the grocery store so I could stock up. Never had me come over to do my laundry so I didn’t have to carry a garbage bag of clothes a half mile. And she certainly didn’t offer to help out with my expenses.

I didn’t see much of her for a couple years. Yet when I got back on my feet and had a respectable job I heard from her all the time.

What gives?

read more here:- Why Your Narcissistic Parent Needs You

Posted in Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head

5 Powerful Ways Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head

In popular culture, the term “narcissistic” is thrown about quite loosely, usually referring to vanity and self-absorption. This reduces narcissism to a common quality that everyone possesses and downplays the symptoms demonstrated by people with the actual disorder. While narcissism does exist on a spectrum, narcissism as a full-fledgedpersonality disorder is quite different.

read the full article by Shahida Arabi

https://selfcarehaven.wordpress.com/2014/07/21/five-powerful-ways-abusive-narcissists-get-inside-your-head/