This article summarizes panel discussions that took place at an international conference on shared parenting (SP) held in May 2017. The panelists were internationally recognized experts on the legal and psychological implications of custody arrangements and parenting plans. Seven broad themes dominated the discussions: whether or not there was persuasive evidence that SP provides real benefits to children whose parents separate; what specific factors make SP beneficial; what symbolic value SP might have; whether there should be a legal presumption in favor of SP, and if so, what factors should make for exceptions; whether high parental conflict, parents’ failure to agree on the parenting plan, or dynamics of parental alienation should preclude SP; and what should happen when a parent wants to relocate away from the other parent.
A psychologist quoted in the article, Joshua Coleman, author of “When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Child Don’t Get Along,” who was on the parental end of this issue, offers this advice to parents whose adult children have cut them out of their lives:
“Often, [Coleman] said, parents in these situations give up too soon. He advises them to continue weekly letters, e-mail messages or phone calls even when they are rejected, and to be generous in taking responsibility for their mistakes — even if they did not seem like mistakes at the time.
“After all, he went on, parents and children have very different perspectives. ‘It’s possible for a parent to feel like they were doing something out of love,’ he said, “but it didn’t feel like love to that child.’
Read more at When Children Abandon Parents
Why DO so many children abandon parents in their darkest hour? After Sir Ian Botham admits he didn’t visit his dementia-stricken father, one writer asks the painful question
- Rebecca Ley’s father suffered from dementia
- She stood by him till the end, even when he didn’t seem to recognise her
- But Ian Botham said he didn’t visit his dad when he had Alzheimer’s
- He didn’t want to see him when he’d lost his mind
- Wanted to remember him as he was in his prime
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2642006/Why-DO-children-abandon-parents-darkest-hour-Im-stunned-Ian-Botham-didnt-visit-dementia-stricken-father.html#ixzz49kagRI9c
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While it’s true that many parents of estranged adults have been victimized, that doesn’t mean a parent must remain a victim. This moves us to the third category of coping I’ve created here:Successful participation.
None of these conscious coping strategies is wrong, but consider which one appeals to you.How have you coped in the past? How do you want to cope?
It’s up to each of us to decide whether we will learn to cope in practical ways that help us get past the pain, foster our growth, and advance us forward in our own happy lives.
read the full article on this website:-Are you a victim? Do you want to stay that way?
The demands by SIFF-FRW on behalf of aggrieved fathers are:-
1. Fathers should be given Child Visitation orders in all matrimonial cases within 15 days of the petition.
2. Courts must immediately deny maintenance/alimony to any woman who opposes or indirectly attempts to prevent her separated husband from accessing and parenting the children and also to working/highly educated mothers.
3. Courts must initiate contempt proceedings suo-motu against those mothers who do not respect visitation orders.
4. Children must not be allowed to be used as pawns in custody disputes.
5. Children must not be allowed to be used as money earning tools by women in custody disputes.
6. Under no circumstances the grandparents of the child must be denied access to the children.
7. Govt. must allocate funds for conducting research on the adverse impacts on fatherless children.
8. Single mothers should be given mandatory counselling to increase involvement of biological Father in children’s lives
9. Reforms in the existing child visitation/custody laws – ‘Shared parenting’ must be the default arrangement if case of separation or divorce between spouses.
Fathers’ use of technology like Skype and video conferencing to get in touch with children should not be curtailed by judiciary.
Abandoned Parents: The Devil’s Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents Paperback – August 27, 2014
Adult children who abandon their parents are becoming an issue around the globe. This book is about the causes and consequences.