Most of us are sitting around 80% past and 20% future. And the 80% obsession with the past is causing most of our problems. It creates discontentment, frustration, anxiety, fear, etc.
Too often we’re filled with remorse and regrets. And we are attempting to live emotionally in the past. We fill ourselves with guilt in an attempt to change what’s already been done…
Guilt only complicates the future, it can never alter the past.
We have a bizarrely innate talent for seeing things as way less painful/traumatic in retrospect, and this goes for physical pain as well as emotional pain (maybe it’s a self-preservation thing?! I dunno). So essentially, when we have a bout of fantasising about the past and living in it, we often completely gloss over the whole reason behind why it is our past, and not our present! Almost as if that part isn’t of any relevance or importance.
But it’s E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G honey! And that’s what we need to focus on. For whatever reason something might be in your past, remind yourself there’s a really good reason why it’s there and not your ‘now’.
Does this sound like you?
One of the most important wellness tools for many people is spending time with people you enjoy. They have found that regular contact with family members and friends who are supportive keeps them well
We All Need Friends
Everyone needs and wants to have friends. They enrich your life. They make you feel good about yourself and about being alive. Friends are especially helpful when you need special attention and care. A good friend is someone who:
- you like, respect and trust, and who likes, respect and trust you
- accepts and likes you as you are, even as you grow and change
- listens to you and shares with you, both the good and the bad
- you can tell anything to and know they will not betray your confidence
- lets you express your feelings and emotions, and does not judge, tease or criticize
- gives you good advice when you ask for it, assists you in taking action that will help you feel better, and works with you to figure out what to do next when you are having a hard time.
- lets you help them when they need it
- you want to be with, (but you aren’t obsessed about being with them)
- doesn’t ever take advantage of you
- Recognise the toxic friendships – When you lead a busy life, spending your precious time with friends who make you feel exhausted and down every single time you see them is simply not worth it. Surely, not everyone is capable of being happy and positive all the time but toxic friendships will always leave you wondering why you even try to hold on to those people. If a particular friendship is draining your energy, it is time to leave it behind. There are probably more people in your life who deserve more of your attention.
ELEMENT 2: SOCIAL RECOGNITION
So, should you worry about what this ex-friend is saying behind your back? Should you try to get in your mutual friends’ and neighbors’ ears and convince them of what a selfish freak she can be, how her view of you is inaccurate, how angry and disappointed you were when she didn’t step up and notice that you were having a rough time yourself? No. If they have brains in their heads, they can see very clearly that she is immature and vindictive toward someone she previously treated as her closest friend. It should be obvious to them that her reasons for icing you out are weak at best.
And if these mutual friends don’t know that, or it’s more convenient to just keep the peace with your needy drama queen ex, or they actually find her tirades against you convincing, then you don’t need them in your life anyway. You know you’re not a bad friend.
The fake friend spins a tale out of his otherwise simple ass job
I once went out with an extremely pretentious girl who described her job as, “I’m in charge of making calls to potential clients. It is up to me to keep gathering prospects for the company so that deals can be closed. A lot of money is involved.”
Bitch was just a telemarketer. She made $8/hr.
Work is important. Everybody has to work, but only the fake people see the need to show how important their work is to others. That’s when they start embellishing everything if their job truly sucks.
Or, if their job is pretty prestigious and commands a high salary, they’d only be talking about work most of the time. That’s when they shamelessly try to compare salaries, number of hours worked or what cars everybody drive.
Do you see how the fake friend only looks at people as a set of status and numbers?