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Accept That Your Narcissist Parent Won’t Change
One of the most difficult challenges you face is accepting that your narcissist parent in all likelihood will never change. If the narcissist in your life finds a way to make personal progress toward a healthier state of being, great, but you should assume he won’t. Narcissists rarely change, and if they are acting nicer it is most likely a manipulative maneuver. Holding out hope that your parent will finally give you the unconditional love you have craved your whole life is natural, but it is a false dream that makes you vulnerable to further abuse and keeps you from moving on.
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How do we forgive a parent who has mentally abused a child or young adult using parental alienation strategies or a person who has aided this parent?
Aiding a parent includes those who have intentionally looked the other way, knowing the child or young adult was being ripped from the loving arms of their parent as the sacred parent/child bond was being broken. Worse, many of those who looked the other way received financial or other benefits at the expense of harming the psychological and physical health of this innocent child or young adult and loving parent.
This is very evil so how can we forgive?
How do we know this once evil person will not change back and become evil again?
Alienating parents are liars and manipulators as are those who aid them; they are smooth operators. Remember those who aid alienating parents are smooth operators too. Like politicians, often try to sell forgiveness; have angel eyes and a cold heart. Be cautious and see what they DO consistently.
A few days ago, a post was written on a Facebook group that asked the question “Could you ever look your ex in the eyes and tell them that you forgive them for what they have done??” and the responses were varied although weighted on the fact that many could not.
When you look at the “tactics” that are sometimes used in a relationship breakdown where the children are used as a weapon, it is quite undertandable that affected parents might feel this way
The group was <a class="ax cc ie if ig ih" href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/PAWWSG?source=post_page—————————" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: inherit; text-decoration: none; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: transparent; background-repeat: repeat-x; background-image: url(" data:image svg+xml;utf8, “); background-size: 1px 1px; background-position: 0px calc(1em + 1px);”>Parental Alienation World Wide Support Group that has over 30,000 members which really highlights how many families are affected by this behaviour.
You claim to be an “expert” in this attachment-related family conflict pathology. Post your vitae, let’s have a look at the actual substance of your claimed “expertise” in attachment-related family pathology – or are you expecting to be “recognized as superior without commensurate achievements” – let’s have a look at your vitae, Karen.
You are the one who is so prominently claiming to be an “expert” – back it up, Karen, because I don’t believe you are an “expert” in anything – I suspect it’s simply a grandiose delusion.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857
DSM-5 Narcissistic Personality Disorder Criterion 1: “Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).”
Karen Woodall, you assert that you are an “expert”… I have a quiz for you.
You’re a mental health person, right? So you should know symptom terms and definitions. I have one for you. I’ll describe the symptom and you give me the clinical term. Ready, okay here:
The Symptom: A fixed and false belief that is maintained despite contrary evidence.
What’s that called, Karen?
Right, a delusion. I was pretty sure you’d get that one. So here, let me give you a clinical application scenario and see how you do.
Say you have this person who thinks that they’re inventing something that will save the world, or that they’re making some earth-shattering new “discovery” but then it turns out that it’s not true. …
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A Vanishing Expertise
Tell me, who says you’re an “expert” Karen? You do.
Wait, I’ll bet Bill Bernet does too, doesn’t he. He says you’re an “expert.” But wait, who says Bill Bernet is an “expert”? Oh, you do. I get it. You all just go around anointing each other as “experts” and then just make stuff up. Sweet. You know that’s a scam, right? You’re not a real expert in anything. You know that, right?
You are? You are really an “expert” for real? Okay, show us. On your vitae. Post your vitae, Karen. Show us how you developed your expertise. Where did you receive your training in the attachment pathology? Where did you receive your training in family systems therapy? Where did you receive your training in personality disorder pathology? Where did you receive your training in complex trauma? Where did you receive your training in the neuro-development of the brain during childhood?
You’re not an expert in anything, Karen, except in your own imagination and fantasies. It’s a Fairy Tale, Karen.
Karen recently posted a blog about Fairy Tales and splitting that was kind of all over the place, but the central premise is that she’s some sort of expert on “splitting” and she’s sort of simultaneously discovering splitting and reporting on her discovery.
There’s so much nonsense being put forth, I need to address it. But there’s so much to address, I’m going to do it in multiple posts. This first one on just the general nonsense of her grandiosity, and then I’ll devote the second one to the more specific nonsense of what she says.
Fairy Tales from the Woodalls
In her blog, Karen seemingly admits that her approach to understanding complex family conflict surrounding divorce is to create a fairy tale – a make-believe story she creates about a new form of pathology she thinks she’s “discovering.”
How exciting that must be for Karen, she thinks she’s discovering…
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Karen Woodall is the most active obstructionist. This is because she has her personal finances at stake. She’s put all of her professional status into her Separation Clinic and drives the clinic’s marketing (her making money) by her being an “expert” in this new form of pathology. Apparently her husband, Nick, is in on this too, so it’s a whole family affair. If we return to the established knowledge of professional psychology – she’s no longer an expert and there goes all her marketing of herself and her clinic – and if we actually solve the pathology – there goes her entire clinic. Her entire world is built on her being an “expert” in a “new form” of pathology.
Neither one is true.
So she’s been the most active in scrambling to remain relevant by obstructing and creating confusion. To do this, she picks up on words or phrases I’m using and then mimics them, – but without meaning. She doesn’t really understand actual psychology – so she uses the terms but then kind of twists and distorts them into what she wants them to be. Sort of a, “Truth and reality are what I assert them to be” relationship with actual reality.
I’m worried about Karen Woodall’s psychological state, but I’m in Los Angeles. Can someone over in England please check on her to make sure she’s okay.
Whenever I sign into my blog I get a newsfeed panel, and her blog has been showing up in this panel recently. I typically don’t read them. They’re just her own stuff without any scientific support. She’s just making stuff up. And as long as she’s basing her work on Gardnerian PAS, she’s pretty much irrelevant to any solution. Gardnerian PAS prevents the solution.
But recently I’ve been attending to her, because we’re shifting into solutions that are grounded in actual knowledge, and as we do that the Gardnerians, particularly Karen, are seeking to sow confusion, co-opting terms and constructs that don’t apply to the PAS model, but then using them as a way of sowing confusion. They want to pretend that there’s no…
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That little girl misses her father. She’s lost him. Forever. Because the ignorant mental health people thought they had time. They didn’t. They were just ignorant, and because of that, she’s going to suffer for the rest of her life. Without escape. They took that from her.
What makes you think we have time? We need to fix things now. Today. Immediately. Love is always a good thing for a child to receive. Especially today.
Craig Childress, Psy.D.
I have a client. A targeted parent father. He so very much loved his daughter. She’s nine. Her mother created all sorts of barriers to the father’s love for his daughter. Most recently was an effort by the mother to replace the father with her new boyfriend.
The father was set to actively fight for his love in court. That’s why he contacted me, he wanted my help. He has a very strong case.
But then he had a massive stroke that left him paralyzed, conscious but not able to communicate. It’s severe. He’ll wind up dying eventually from this stroke and its aftermath, maybe six months, maybe a couple of years, but he’s not going to recover language or the ability to move.
What makes you think we have time?
My heart breaks for his daughter, the love of this dad’s life. She will never know ever again, the…
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