Posted in Adult Children Of Psychopaths, Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma, Aftermath of Parental Alienation, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

I am divorcing a narcissist…

Accordingly to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, someone exhibiting five or more of the traits set out below can be suffering from a narcistic personality disorder:-

• A need for excessive attention and admiration.

• A sense of entitlement particularly to special treatment.

• A grandiose sense of self-importance.

• A pre-occupation of fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty or ideal love.

• A belief that one is special and can only be understood by or associated with special people or institutions.

• An exploitation of others.

• A lack of empathy.

• An envy of others or the belief that one is the object of envy.

• Arrogant behaviour or attitude. Continue reading “I am divorcing a narcissist…”

Posted in Abusive Narcissists Get Inside Your Head, Adult Children of Narcissists, Adult Children Of Psychopaths, Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Effects of parental alienation include low self-esteem and self-hatred

Why is the World Health Organisation only just now talking about including it into the ICD11? Is this because it is a new area of research?

Parental alienation is a relatively new coined concept which has emerged in research in the 1980s.

Although the existence of parental alienation has probably always existed, it could have easily been termed under other mental and behavioural issues. Furthermore, given that the numbers of separations and divorce are on the increase locally, the incidence of parental alienation might be more observed and visible.

The inclusion of parent alienation is facing resistance from a number of groups. They say the concept is based off of faulty methods or pseudo-science. Why do you think they say so? Continue reading “Effects of parental alienation include low self-esteem and self-hatred”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

When Parental Alienation Crosses into the Criminal Jurisdiction

I am writing this article as a follow up to an article I wrote that was published in The Law Society Gazette on 4th December 2018 and which focussed on a case in which I was involved and where I represented the father, Re D (a child (parental alienation) [2018] EWFC B64.

Crown court – relevance of parental alienation
Parental alienation is not confined to family cases.  It can and does feature in criminal cases, where allegations are made, by an alienating parent, against a backdrop of a prolonged, serious and acrimonious relationship between parents following separation/divorce.

When representing a parent in a criminal court I emphasise to my clients the need for all relevant facts to be before the jury, just as they need to be before a family court. This will require a thorough consideration of what might constitute relevant evidence coupled with a detailed request for disclosure from the prosecution.  This is so that the jury can properly understand and evaluate the family background which may have led to the allegations against the defendant.

Unfortunately and very often, I find myself representing a parent who did not think, at the outset, that  it was necessary to be represented at the police station and so attended without being accompanied by a solicitor.  As with any criminal case, the absence of legal representation at the police station can often cause a client considerable difficulty by the time it reaches trial.  This can arise for a number of reasons but most commonly in these types of cases because the parent is often in shock and distress when questioned by the police because allegations of this nature are deeply distressing and often historical.  The parent may then say something, innocently, that is either not accurate or subsequently contradictory of something else he or she may say.  This can often subsequently add weight to the prosecution’s case when seeking to suggest to the jury that the parent or his or her account is not credible.   Another risk of the client attending the police station alone is that police procedures and conduct may not be properly applied and, as such, the client is prejudiced.   Without knowing the rules and procedures, the client will not know when or how to complain.

Cross-examining children and young people, whether in the family court or the criminal court, is never easy.  They are vulnerable and at all times require sensitivity and need systems in place [known as “special measures”] which facilitates them giving evidence.  However, with skilled and experienced cross-examination, any unreliability in their evidence can usually be unravelled. Continue reading “When Parental Alienation Crosses into the Criminal Jurisdiction”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Sometimes parental alienation masks another personality disorder…

In other posts we have discussed parental alienation, what it is and the impact that it has on children during and after divorce.

We’ve also covered some of the ways that a trusting relationship can be re-established, even after damage has been done. The alienation from a parent does not have to be permanent, even if the rebuilding of trust takes time.

Parental alienation often happens not because of the malicious actions of one parent but because of a complex set of behaviours that involve both parents and even the extended families.

However, in some circumstances Continue reading “Sometimes parental alienation masks another personality disorder…”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Alienators think like criminals.

Behavior is a product of thinking. The following five “errors” characterize the cognitive processes of mothers and fathers who alienate a child from a parent. These same errors are inherent in the thought processes of murderers, arsonists, rapists, and other offenders. (People who do not have a criminal personality also make these errors in thinking, but not to the same degree.)

The following applies to both mothers and fathers.  It is not gender specific.  The pronoun “he” is used to avoid awkwardness in writing. Continue reading “Alienators think like criminals.”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Consultation response submitted to Review of Part 1 of the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 and creation of a family justice modernisation strategy

Consultation response submitted to Review of Part 1 of the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 and creation of a family justice modernisation strategy

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Ethics of Sharing Client Stories | Psychology Today

Use of Confidential Information for Didactic or Other Purposes– Psychologists do not disclose in their writings, lectures or other public media, confidential, personally identifiable information concerning their clients/patients, students, research participants, organizational clients or other recipients of their services that they obtained during the course of their work, unless (1) they take reasonable steps to disguise the person or organization, (2) the person or organization has consented in writing, or (3) there is legal authorization for doing so.

To meet the APA Standard, I’ll either get permission to share the client’s story or change identifying details. Here’s how this looks in practice:

Continue reading “The Ethics of Sharing Client Stories | Psychology Today”

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Guidelines on the writing and use of case histories

However, as one advocate of case studies has pointed out, it is the case histories of 100 years ago that we remember today — “Anna O” being a case in point — rather than the science of the day, which is now seen to be at least partly spurious [2]. The Human Givens Institute believes that, given the value of the case study, its use should continue, providing that in each case properly informed consent is obtained and effective steps are taken to preserve client confidentiality/privacy, as set out in these guidelines.

Therapists should also note that it is possible to illustrate an aspect of therapy and its underlying principles and application without direct reference to an actual therapeutic episode (which is what a case study does). This approach avoids the issue of privacy and consent.

In general, human givens practitioners produce case studies (i.e. accounts of particular therapeutic episodes) to reflect successful treatments and publish these to illustrate the approach used and the outcome for the benefit of colleagues. Alternatively and equally valuable are accounts of therapy which have not succeeded.

These guidelines are mainly concerned with the kinds of case studies that can be defined as narrative case studies (or case histories) where the content is presented as events in an unfolding plot with participants (patient, therapist, significant others) and actions (presenting situation, treatment, outcome, etc).

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What To Do When Someone Steals Your Idea: React Like A Professional

2. There Are No New Ideas

Next, ask yourself if you’re upset because someone has stolen your idea or because they’ve stolen your content. The distinction may be hard to determine, but it’s critical. Nobody can copyright an idea, even if it’s awesome. Besides, there aren’t really any new ideas, anyway. Some ideas are so evergreen that it’s likely you copied them to begin with. Get real with yourself…did the person who’s pissing you off take ‘your’ idea or your actual work product?

3. Do You Even Own Your Work?

The next question is vital for freelancers, who often perform work for hire. It can feel yucky to acknowledge, but often your contract stipulates that your photograph, your article, or your song lyrics belongs to the person who bought it. Double-check your rights before your act (and don’t sign contracts that limit your claim to the work you produce).

4. Ask for Attribution

Often, a good way to start a civil conversation about your copied work is to contact the culprit and ask them to attribute it to you. This will nip 90 percent of copying in the bud—either they’ll give you credit for your words or image, or take it down. It can also feel less scary for people who aren’t used to confrontation, but still feel entitled to take claim for their hard work. Use neutral language and try to take the emotion out of your request.

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery

To imitate someone is to pay the person a genuine compliment — often an unintended compliment.