Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Emotional Intelligence Toolkit

HelpGuide’s Emotional Intelligence Toolkit is a step-by-step guide to controlling troublesome thoughts, managing stress and difficult emotions, improving your relationships, and following through on positive intentions. The Toolkit can help you to:

  • Change self-defeating moods and attitudes
  • Quickly manage stress and anxiety
  • Stay connected to what you feel as well as think
  • Follow through on your hopes and dreams

The toolkit is based on the recent transformations that have taken place in the field of psychology. Emotion is now at the heart of clinical theory and is seen as the foundation to psychological change. We also now know that all of our thinking benefits greatly from having an emotional component.

https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-toolkit.htm/

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Healing from abuse

Family is supposed to be our safe haven. Very often, it’s the place where we find the deepest heartache.

Iyanla Vanzant

You survived the abuse. You’re going to survive the recovery.

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The scars you can’t see are the hardest to heal.

Astrid Alauda

It is impossible to correct abuses unless we know that they’re going on.

Julian Assange

We should meet abuse by forbearance. Human nature is so constituted that if we take absolutely no notice of anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.

Mahatma Gandhi

Do you never look at yourself when you abuse another person?

Plautus

The results of any traumatic experience, such as abuse, can only be resolved by experiencing, articulating, and judging every facet of the original experience within a process of careful therapeutic disclosure.

Alice Miller

Do not look for healing at the feet of those who broke.”

Refuse to inherit dysfunction. Learn new ways of living instead of repeating what you lived through.”

The only people who get upset about you setting boundaries are the onces who were benefiting from you having none.”

“Don’t let someone who did you wrong make you think there’s something wrong with you. Don’t devalue yourself because they didn’t value you. Know your worth even if they don’t.”

“You have escaped the cage. Your wings are stretched out. Now fly.”

https://www.healthyplace.com/insight/quotes/quotes-on-abuse

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What works in parental alienation? Look for the evidence … | LinkedIn

As a psychologist, I am a scientist-practitioner – the evidence matters. Just because programme Z has worked with families G and H – it does not mean it will work with family K or F. Both the Family Separation Clinic and the Anna Freud Centre have recently promoted the success of their programmes. Eia Asen of the Anna Freud Centre reports a 90% success rate – reporting their internal audit figures. Karen Woodall of the Family Separation Clinic, while being overtly critical and denigratory of other programmes and practitioners, asserts there is an evidence base for her work – one which does not require independent evaluation or comparison to other programmes. I had hoped to review data of their programme as part of my current research, but have had no response to my request for a copy of the presentation on their work made by Nick Woodall at a recent London conference.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-works-parental-alienation-look-evidence-dr-sue-whitcombe/

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Abusers

“Abusers – they’ll manipulate and they’ll lie to you.
And when you no longer give them that power, they’ll try to manipulate your family or the people close to you instead. Abusers want everyone to hate you just as much as they do. It’s sick. Their lack of morals and integrity is sick. The amount of hate they harbor in their hearts is sick, as are their psychopathic or sociopathic traits.”
LaTasha “Tacha B.” Braxton

“Dissociation leaves us disconnected from our memories, our identities and our emotions. It breaks the trauma into digestible components, so that different aspects of the trauma get stored in different compartments in our brain. What happens as a result is that the information from the trauma becomes disorganized and we are not able to integrate these pieces into a coherent narrative and process trauma fully until, hopefully, with the help of a validating, trauma-informed counselor who guides us to the appropriate therapies best suited to our needs, we confront the trauma and triggers in a safe place.”

Shahida Arabi, Becoming the Narcissist’s Nightmare: How to Devalue and Discard the Narcissist While Supplying Yourself

“Abuse is never deserved, it is an exploitation of innocence and physical disadvantage, which is perceived as an opportunity by the abuser.”

― Lorraine Nilon, Breaking Free From the Chains of Silence: A respectful exploration into the ramifications of Paedophilic abuse

“No matter what, the day didn’t feel like Christmas to her.

She remembered years ago, when she had been just a little kid, and the word had been enough to make her happy. Nothing stirred in her now. Her childhood felt like it had been in another life. As she sat alone in her room with tears drying to her face, she resolved that no matter what the calendar said, it wasn’t Christmas.If it was, she’d feel happy, not depressed.”

― Kayla Krantz, Survive at Midnight

I’m still not sure if I was a victim or not… and if I was, who was my abuser?”

― Eskay Teel, Alice in Worcestershire: Big girls don’t cry

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Emotional Abuse

“The only person that deserves a special place in your life is someone that never made you feel like you were an option in theirs.”
Shannon L. Alder

“The scars from mental cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as wounds from punches or slaps but are often not as

obvious. In fact, even among women who have experienced violence from a partner, half or more report that the man’s emotional abuse is what is causing them the greatest harm.”

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

“So often survivors have had their experiences denied, trivialized, or distorted. Writing is an important avenue for healing because it gives you the opportunity to define your own reality. You can say: This did happen to me. It was that bad. It was the fault & responsibility of the adult. I was—and am—innocent.” The Courage to Heal by Ellen Bass & Laura Davis”

Ellen Bass, The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse

An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he’s not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”

Lundy Bancroft, Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

My dad had limitations. That’s what my good-hearted mom always told us. He had limitations, but he meant no harm. It was kind of her to say, but he did do harm.”

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

“It is not the the bruises on the body that hurt. It is the wounds of the heart and the scars on the mind.”

Aisha Mirza

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The Legal Argument Package: Forensic or Clinical Psychology

The world is changing. An attachment-based and trauma-informed model of complex family conflict surrounding divorce represents the return of clinical psychology to court-involved practice.

Craig Childress, Psy.D.
Clinical Psychologist, PSY 18857

Dr. Craig Childress: Attachment Based "Parental Alienation" (AB-PA)

Things are changing. 

We are shifting from a forensic psychology non-solution to a clinical psychology solution for complex family conflict surrounding divorce.

This is not a child custody issue.  The conflict surrounding child custody is a symptom. The issue is family pathology that is creating complex attachment-related  pathology in the family; complex family conflict surrounding divorce.

This is a family pathology and treatment issue.  Conducting family therapy is the domain of clinical psychology, treating attachment pathology in the family is the domain of clinical psychology (a child rejecting a parent is an attachment-related pathology), treating the expression of parental personality disorder pathology in parenting and the family is the domain of clinical psychology, and treating the trans-generational transmission of complex trauma is the domain of clinical psychology.

This is a clinical psychology issue, diagnosing and treating family pathology; the attachment system, family systems therapy, personality disorder pathology, complex trauma. …

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Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Announcement by Linda Turner

As many of you already know I have been working in a voluntary capacity for the past two years for NAAP.

I have decided to resign and no longer have any involvement with NAAP.

Any questions or enquires regarding NAAP, please contact them directly.

Linda

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)? A Psychologist Explains

What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy? 5 Definitions

Before we begin discussing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, it is a good idea to define it first. Here are a few definitions of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy from some different psychology organizations, and one traditional dictionary definition. The following definitions of CBT are in no particular order.

  1. According to the Mayo Clinic, CBT is “a common type of talk therapy (psychotherapy). You work with a mental health counselor (psychotherapist or therapist) in a structured way, attending a limited number of sessions. CBT helps you become aware of inaccurate or negative thinking so you can view challenging situations more clearly and respond to them in a more effective way.”
  2. According to the Beck Institute, CBT is “a time-sensitive, structured, present-oriented psychotherapy directed toward solving current problems and teaching clients skills to modify dysfunctional thinking and behavior.”
  3. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) says that “Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) focuses on exploring relationships among a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. During CBT a therapist will actively work with a person to uncover unhealthy patterns of thought and how they may be causing self-destructive behaviors and beliefs.”
  4. According to the National Health Service (NHS) of England, “CBT is based on the concept that your thoughts, feelings, physical sensations and actions are interconnected, and that negative thoughts and feelings can trap you in a vicious cycle. CBT aims to help you deal with overwhelming problems in a more positive way by breaking them down into smaller parts. You’re shown how to change these negative patterns to improve the way you feel. Unlike some other talking treatments, CBT deals with your current problems, rather than focusing on issues from your past. It looks for practical ways to improve your state of mind on a daily basis.”
  5. Finally, according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, CBT is “psychotherapy that combines cognitive therapy with behavior therapy by identifying faulty or maladaptive patterns of thinking, emotional response, or behavior and substituting them with desirable patterns of thinking, emotional response, or behavior.”

https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/what-is-cbt-definition-meaning/

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

CBT Finding a therapist

Finding a therapist

CBT is widely available on the NHS. If you feel that CBT may be helpful, then you should first discuss it with your GP. Private therapists are also available. Before starting CBT, we recommend you check that your therapist is accredited by BABCP.

BABCP believes that accreditation is important in protecting the public and raising the quality of CBT.

To find details of BABCP-accredited CBT therapists visit www.cbtregisteruk.com

https://www.babcp.com/public/What-is-CBT.aspx

Posted in Parental Alienation & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

What is CBT

Cognitive behavioural therapies, or CBT, are a range of talking therapies based on the theory that thoughts, feelings, what we do and how our body feels are all connected. If we change one of these we can alter the others.

When people feel worried or distressed we often fall into patterns of thinking and responding which can worsen how we feel. CBT works to help us notice and change problematic thinking styles or behaviour patterns so we can feel better. CBT has lots of strategies that can help you in the here and now.

https://www.babcp.com/public/What-is-CBT.aspx