This article really resonated with me and I would like to share. I have had several clients recently who have managed to overcome and work through boundary issues with close ones to great effect. Its not all about labelling and blame shifting.!
“As a trainee psychodynamic therapist, it is common for me to hear that the majority of platonic and romantic relationships fail because boundaries have not been communicated. Instead of addressing the situation and laying down healthy rules, people would rather ghost or brand the other person as ‘toxic’. This creates a blame culture which is not only counterproductive but allows people to sidestep accountability for their own responses. I have seen countless memes on Instagram therapy accounts which claim to help us identify toxic people. The truth is that with the exception of some incredibly serious circumstances where a person has been abusive, very few people are ‘toxic’. And even in those serious circumstances, would we call a rapist or domestic abuser ‘toxic’? Probably not. There are other terms to describe their actions. In reality, putting healthy boundaries in place ought to be seen as the act of fortifying relationships rather than building walls to keep people out or, indeed, avoid having difficult conversations about our needs and feelings. “