Narcissistic abusers twist things around through gaslighting, through triangulation, through projection, and it’s always somebody else’s fault,” she says. “A lot of times, the narcissist will get very angry and walk out of counseling sessions. They never want to talk authentically about what is their part in causing conflict in the relationship. They will deflect over and over and over again.”
Another sign, she says, is being cool, calm and collected—sometimes even amused—when their partner is clearly distraught.
“Narcissistic abusers get entertainment out of the chaos they create, and that’s very different than just an average person who has some things that they need to work on in life,” Shannon says. “They know the game that they’re taking the victim on.”
Narcissistic partners plus abuse equals a relationship you may feel trapped indefinitely in.