Dont Pretend!

  1. Don’t pretend you have not been hurt by the experiences of neglect, rejection, abandonment, or alienation that your parents created for you. It’s okay to feel your feelings, name your feelings, and explore ways to heal the hurt.
  2. Don’t let yourself begin believing your parents’ lies that their poor treatment and abuse of you was due to some inner failing of your own. Your parents chose their actions, you were a child trying to survive and navigate a dysfunctional family system. Your parents were adults who knew what they were doing as they built dysfunction into the family system.
  3. Don’t believe you are not worthy or “good enough” to live a life filled with people who value you for who you are and not what need you could meet for them.
  4. Don’t become the inverse of the narcissist – a people-pleasing, boundaryless, co-dependent to the next narcissist who targets you as an adult.
  5. Don’t hold onto false hope that your parent will change with time; often narcissistic behaviors just grow more ingrained over the years and your parent may never be able to love you in the way that other parents love their children.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202105/breaking-the-trauma-bond-forged-narcissistic-parents

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