The resounding theme is: “This is not about me; it’s about you.” Your fault, your problem to fix, your lack of attention to something. A lot of times, a narcissist will glance around them and accuse numerous people within their social circle or family as being narcissists. They are masters of projection, often oblivious to the ways they abuse, entangle, manipulate, and poison others.
“Because of the way narcissistic people operate and think, they have a tough time connecting with people in a deeper way—without inviting chaos and conflict in at some point. Because of this, it’s hard for them to sustain relationships over time. They may be the person who wants lasting romantic love so badly, but they don’t realize that what they are seeking is someone to worship them in an unreasonable way,” says Dr. Ho.
She adds, “You basically have to worship the ground they walk on, validate them, and coddle them. And if you are way too successful, they are always going to have issues with you. They may even act like they are supportive of you if they know doing so will make them look good or help them with a connection. But, secretly, another person’s greatness infuriates them.”