Character Assassination—and How to Handle It

By Darius Cikanavicius

The manipulator is driven by shame, insecurity, and fear. As soon as they start feeling inferior, or as soon as you notice the manipulator’s toxicity—or as soon as they noticeyou noticing their toxicity—they begin feeling deep insecurity. In their attempt to manage it, they may try to cover their tracks and save their image by giving you made up explanations and excuses, instead of recognizing their unhealthiness and working on themselves to overcome it. If you are able to see though their smoke and mirrors tactics, ideally you will either set a firm boundary and distance yourself from them or they will get terribly scared and ashamed and distance themselves from you, because they avoid people who can see through their facade like a plague. 
Now, since manipulators are terrified by others not liking them or having a negative perception of them, they will try to make themselves feel better by finding others to support their delusions. So they will use their social power, or go tell their circle their version of the story where you are a villain or where you are the perpetrator and they are the victim. In doing so, depending on the type of the relationship, they will say how you are a bad person, mischaracterize you, be overly-critical of you, while in reality they feel inferior—and in certain aspects factually they are inferior—and project that onto you, sometimes without even consciously realizing it. 

“They cant kill the truth

So they try to assassinate the character.”

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