LOSS OF CONTROL OF GRANDIOSITY
What happens if the narcissist fails to find Narcissistic Supply Sources (NSSs)?
This precipitates a narcissistic crisis. The narcissist becomes more desperate and more compulsive in looking for his drug. The more he fails, the more he is hurt and he expresses his emotional turmoil by acting out.
Moreover, the absence of SNSSs or their deficiency coupled with the resulting narcissistic crisis increase the fluctuations in the quantity of Narcissistic Supply and widen the Grandiosity Gap (between the grandiose fantasies of the narcissist and his less than glamorous reality). This volatility erodes the narcissist’s self-esteem, self-image, and self-confidence. The narcissist self-devalues and is reduced to depression and doubts.
In other words: the gap between the narcissist’s grandiose fantasies and reality is so wide that the FEGO‘s narcissistic defence mechanisms can no longer be maintained even with the use of strong repression and denial.
This triggers two defensive reactions. Their aim is to stabilise Narcissistic Supply and to reduce the narcissist’s emotional lability:
1. The Reactive Repertoire is reawakened (encouraging the narcissist to flee the scene of his failures and thus create an alibi for future failures).
2. An increase in the consumption of PNSSs (if SNSSs are deficient) or of SNSSs (if PNSSs are deficient).
This last measure does stabilise the situation in the short run but it has a destabilising effect in the longer run.
All this is done mainly to protect the FEGO. The narcissist “knows” that when the FEGO is shattered, the ability of the Hyperconstruct to resist the punitive influence of the SEGO dwindles and both TEGO and the narcissist’s relations with outside objects are in danger.