Kids end up deflecting situations because of a fear of not pleasing their parents. This travels into adulthood, and people continue the behavior because of fear. It becomes a defense tactic to keep themselves from getting hurt or abandoned by those they care about.

Sometimes people get so good at deflecting. They do it automatically without realizing that they’re doing it. Unfortunately, this behavior can turn sour. As a teenager or an adult, deflection can move from harmless little lies to being downright abusive. This is counterproductive to keeping their partner in their life, but they don’t see it that way.

A pattern of deflection can be fueled in one of two ways. Fear, which was discussed above, is the first way. Narcissism is the second way. While both ways can turn a person into an abuser, narcissism is the worst of the two.

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