Sign #2: They lead a double life and engage in pathological lying, despite grandstanding about a deceptive “moral” value system.
As I’ve discussed in a previous article, malignant narcissists, sociopaths,and psychopaths are pathological liars. They chronically lie as a way to maintain power and control over their victim’s reality as well as their choices. After all, if your partner is lying to you about sleeping with multiple people behind your back, you are unable to protect yourself both physically or emotionally. You might stay in the relationship without knowing the level of infidelity they’re committing or how much risk they’re putting you in.
Survivor Relle describes to me how the startlingduplicity of her sociopathic partner extended to his choice of an affair partner. She says, “I had no idea he was living a separate life after grooming and establishing a relationship with the very same young girl who got the job he believed he was entitled to. He told me he would destroy her life and her career. I had no idea the last six months with him was what is defined as the discard. It was pure hell on earth as he tried to destroy me to the point of suicide. I found out he was with this specific girl months after I escaped. She is in so much danger and she doesn’t have a clue.”
In the infamous case of Mary Jo Buttafuoco, her sociopathic husband was able to hide his chronic deception and affair even after his mistress decided to physically show up on Mary’s doorstep and shoot her in the head. Mary thankfully survived, and as she writes in her book, Getting It Through My Thick Skull: Why I Stayed, What I Learned, And What Millions of People Involved With Sociopaths Need to Know: