You have a diagnosis.
You’ve been told by a professional who conducted an assessment, or your therapist, or you filled out an online test and the results were clear.
Plus you have your own experience of reading the list of symptoms and nodding so hard your head nearly fell off.
So it seems incredibly obvious that your man has Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
And that’s validating to know.
I still remember the immense validation and relief I felt from finding out the diagnosis for my husband that I felt explained all of our relationship challenges. He was diagnosed with ADD, Attention Deficit Disorder.
I remember thinking, “I knew there was something wrong with him!”
His diagnosis relieved me from having to reflect on my own shortcomings for several more years.
Why should I bother thinking about how I might be contributing to our problems? He was the one with the disorder, I figured.
But that didn’t actually make me happier.
If anything, it distracted me from doing the one thing that finally made my marriage shiny and amazing again: changing how I treated my husband.
And by changing, I mean I went back to treating him the way I did when we first met and fell in love.
Then the strangest thing happened: he turned back into the man who had wooed me.
The one that I thought was so smart, funny, handsome and talented. The one who didn’t seem to have a disorder at all.