How do Parental Alienators Operate?
Firstly they use the children when they are young enough to manipulate, its very subtle. You may not be aware until your children start to play one parent off against the other. Every time they don’t get their own way over something that you have both agreed to in the past, will suddenly become acceptable by the alienator,
You may find you children whispering with the alienator, then standing alongside them and laughing at you. You may find your children’s behaviour disrespectful.
If they have siblings the alienator will sometimes pit one against the other causing friction between them and you.
When the children are older and more difficult to manipulate , they change their allegiance.
They may have recruited a group of minions, subservient friends, younger vulnerable juveniles who may already have been in trouble with the police or with criminal backgrounds. Then they covertly use these persuadable submissive persons to do their dirty work. Often in the form of:-
- Criminal Damage to your property or cars.
- Internet bullying in the form of fake social media profiles
- Spreading lies and vicious rumours amongst friends and family they have managed to infiltrate.
- Creating fake documents and circulating them through third parties to try and prove their innocence.
- Going to court and giving false evidence against you in return for payoffs.
- Making false allegations to the police through a third party
These minions are often already in trouble with the police so have no objections to stirring up a bit of trouble, especially if there are monetary or employment rewards to be gained.
Sometimes the alienator already has some incriminating evidence over these people, and will use it against them if they don’t perform. Maybe adultery, financial scamming or other criminal activity!
They are never in short supply of enablers and flying monkeys to help them achieve their goals.
If and when they are finally caught, they feign surprise and deny all knowledge of the event taking place saying they knew nothing about it. They have always already arranged a fake alibi and are masters at covering their tracks,
The children are forbidden from seeing any relatives or friends who may influence them in any way, anyone who may discourage or prevent the alienation from occurring. The relatives often don’t want to be involved and stand back and observe from a distance, they neither support the alienator or you, because they are well aware of the alienators behaviours. After all they have lived with the Alienator for possibly more years than you have, and witnessed their exploitations and concealed their conduct for many years.
All gifts and cards from family are destroyed, returned or hidden and the children are told that the parent has forgotten them and does not care.
All photographs showing any happy memories of the children’s childhood are often destroyed, this would be further proof that you are the loving parent that you have always been.
Every ounce of evidence be it family, friends, photos, mementos, gifts, or treasurable items will be eradicated from the children’s lives to further legitimize the alienators story.
They are excluded from all family events and made to believe that this is normal. When close friends and relatives of the partner pass away the alienator finds this amusing, (Because of their total lack of empathy) and openly shows their feelings to the children. Don’t expect to receive any messages of sympathy or condolence.
The longer this goes on the more entrenched the damage to the children. As they get older they become more and more like the alienator. They have observed this behaviour during their impressionable years and sadly this imprinted behaviour becomes the norm.