NARCISSISTIC BEGINNINGS AND CHILDHOOD
Regarding chronically alienated children, it is estimated that up to 40
percent develop an alignment with the alienator and have no problem over and over again to denigrate and outright reject the other parent and every-thing they say. These children tend to loose the spirit and soul that once nurtured a love for the NPA’s target as they refuse to bite the hand that feeds them by nurturing unwavering hatred. These children are psychologically abused by the alienator and inanely believe the target parent to be evil and horrible, when in fact; it is the NPA who qualifies for that status.
Research studies should be performed regarding NPAs, to assist unskilled
therapists to identify the real abuser instead of inadvertently advocating NPA
deception and blaming the target parent. Even an experienced or renowned
therapist is quite capable of being bamboozled to breach ethical standards
and professional objectivity by treating and performing a custody evaluation
with the child simultaneously.
When narcissistic parents are too absorbed with their own preoccupa-
tions to spend time with their kids, they often raise narcissistic children, or at least children with profound narcissistic vulnerabilities, such as shame-sensitivity and the inability to manage intense negative feelings or to control their own aggressive impulses. Several years ago, a study of elementary-school-aged boys showed that those who were already identified as aggressive were less skillful than their more docile peers at accurately interpreting the behavior of others their age and were more likely to read intentional hostility into an ambiguous situation and respond with a preemptive strike. (Hotchkiss, 2003, p. 99)
Often, years pass with exploitative and repetitive brainwashing, denigration, and manipulation of the child against the target parent, and that, as the child matures into a teenager or adult, they become truly incapable of making sound and healthy choices, because irreversible damage has occurred. Few parents maintain the financial and psychological endurance against narcissistic abuse or have the skills to uncover the pettifoggery, before the child’s mind is completely altered and initiated into the alienator’s cult of parenthood. Experts and courts need to appreciate that time is of the essence.
Inexperienced therapists, evaluators, and often judges do not take into
account when a child or teen has been subjected to years of poor behavior
by an NPA prior to divorce or custody disputes and who have imposed such
unbalanced and warped ideas on their offspring. When a teen claims to take
their own stand on making mature adult choices, such a thought pattern
needs to be addressed and corrected. Haven’t we all seen enough parental
and juvenile dysfunction increase in the news over the last decades?
The rates of teen violence and peer crimes are on the rise because so
many NPAs are never home to parent (often out on “business” dates, using
drugs or alcohol) and they refuse to allow the target parent to assist. Often
these types of NPAs will veil their paramour under the guise of being a friend
or babysitter and then further deceive their former spouse and professionals
by remarrying that individual with the hidden intention to cause further hurt
to the target parent through the purchasing of the “synthetic replacement.” It
is not uncommon for the NPA’s extended family to contribute to the alienating
process by participating in concealing such facts.