Attachments can be SECURE or INSECURE/ANXIOUS

A SECURE attachment pattern between baby and mother develops when the mother has an ability and willingness to try to understand behaviours and emotions from her baby’s point of view. She is attuned to his needs, e.g. responds to his crying by picking the baby up and soothing him, either by feeding, or changing him, or simply holding him. She learns to differentiate his cries, sometimes hunger, pain, boredom, tired etc and responds appropriately. She talks to the baby, maybe sings to him and smiles at him and as the baby grows she is rewarded by his response, in that he smiles back and they can engage in “conversation” e.g. the baby “coos” and laughs/gurgles in response to the mother’s attention and often tries to mimic her sounds. Within this attuned, coordinated relationship, the baby learns to regulate his own feelings and behaviours. The mother’s love is unconditional, and this provides the growing child with a sense of security and trust in his mother (often referred to as his attachment figure)

Babies can of course have secure attachment patterns with fathers, and other adults, so long as those adults are able to be emotionally available to the child (as outlined above) as well as physically present.

A secure attachment pattern will be a protective factor for the child throughout the lifespan. He will have learned that he is loved, effective, autonomous and competent and will have an expectation that other people will be available, co-operative and dependable, as he progresses through life.

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