When you lack self-respect and self-love
Before we explore why self-respect is crucial for happiness, we must first learn to recognize the red flags of low self-esteem.
1. You’re the doormat.
If you’re always the one that people ask things for without giving back anything in return, then you might need to build up your self-love. Same is true if you let people walk all over you, giving in to their wishes even though you hate it.
2. You lose yourself in a relationship.
You start a relationship and then, in the process, completely forget who and what you are. Decisions are made without your approval or notice, and you just plod along. Your forget your values and find yourself doing things you wouldn’t normally do, and which is totally against your true nature.
3. You are attention seeking.
You’re dying for validation which your low self-esteem cannot provide. Instead, you follow an image or symbol in order to gain attention and sometimes do stupid and erratic things, like making a fool of yourself at a party or the office.
4. You overindulge in bad habits.
You’re drinking, drugging, overeating, self-harming, punishing yourself, and your body. Food and drugs become ways to indulge and to forget.
5. You care for people who don’t care for you.
You’ll move mountains for someone who doesn’t even take notice of you. You keep making excuses for those who wouldn’t think twice to throw you under the bus.
6. You tolerate verbal, mental, or physical abuse.
You tolerate abusive partners and nasty people because you remember that one time they really treated you nicely, and you hang on to that feeling of belonging.
7. You have desperate, casual sex.
You have sex with someone just because you need the attention. Your sex isn’t liberated, fun, or respectful. You don’t enjoy it, but instead, use sex as a way to feel you belong or are loved.
8. You are a puppet.
You meekly go along because you genuinely believe you have nothing of value to add to a conversation, relationship, or meeting because you think your opinions offer no value.
9. You became untidy and sloppy.
Your surroundings are in a mess. Your room is scattered with clothing and the sink in the kitchen is constantly full of dishes. You don’t’ care about cleaning up and just want to sleep all day.