Have you ever had the gut-sense someone was lying to you but weren’t sure? Or been fooled by a smooth talker? Or accused someone of lying, and later found out you were wrong? Would it help you to know that while accomplished liars smoothly spin reasonable sounding stories, even practiced liars signal deceit with small nonverbal clues? They do. Our eyes often catch these clues without our brain registering exactly what we’ve seen. If you’d like to train your eye and brain to consciously register these signals, you can detect a liar or a truth-teller. Look for these classic clues: The top and the bottom of the face don’t match Have you ever seen someone smile with his mouth and not his eyes? Or frown with her mouth while her eyes sparkled with glee? Because a liar can more easily control his mouth’s shape than his eyes’ expression, a liar can force a smile or frown while his eyes tell a different story. Trust the eyes. Sudden deadpan When you next talk with a friend, notice her facial animation. Most people show a lot of facial animation until they want to guard what their thinking.
What can you do?
The most important thing you can do when you’re up against a liar is to trust yourself. A liar makes you doubt yourself, turning you against you. Don’t let that happen.
Next, you’ll be tempted to react to their lies. Don’t let this happen, because when you react, you find yourself off balanced. Instead, stay calm and objective, and say what you know to be true.
Be on guard
Finally, be on guard. Accept that you can’t trust the liar, nor can you take what he or she says as reliable. Keep records, because ultimately you’ll need them, if not for a third party’s benefit, then for yourself. Liars create a toxic environment, and ultimately you’ll need to exit stage right.
A liar will …