People who resort to emotional blackmail often have a complex history that has led them to a place where their relationships are toxic and they are abusive.
Often, they will have had an emotionally abusive childhood and will have been on the receiving end of emotional blackmail from their parents.
This can mean that they find it very difficult to know what it normal and what is not, and they may lack enough knowledge of what a healthy relationship looks like to be able to build one themselves.
There are some personality traits that many emotional blackmailers share. They include:
Lack of empathy
Tendency to blame others
Emotional blackmailers are rarely able to accept that they are responsible for problems in their relationship, or for failings in other areas of their life, such as their careers.
Rather than thinking about whether they could have done something else differently, they tend to assume that someone else is at fault for their pain.
This means they feel justified in threatening their victims.
Emotional blackmail often goes hand-in-hand with other forms of abuse, both emotional and physical. Emotional blackmailers often have a personality disorder, particularly narcissistic personality disorder or borderline personality disorder.
People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) desperately need people to be with them and have relationships with them.
If they feel as if they are losing someone, they often resort to increasingly extreme.