What Is Reverse Projection?
Reverse projection means even if you’re no longer in relationship with your abuser, you may still thing well of her rather than face the truth- she abused you. Being realistic will help you to accept that yes, you were abused, yes, things were bad & yes, you have been adversely affected by it all. Once you admit these things, & only then, can you begin to heal.
And if reverse projection helped you to accept responsibility for being abused, that will create plenty of problems in itself. It’s unhealthy to accept responsibility for being abused because you did nothing wrong! Doing so creates a root of toxic shame inside, & toxic shame creates so many problems. It destroys your self esteem, it sets you up to be abused by others, it makes you unable to accept help when you need it & more. You also are carrying the abuser’s shame when it’s not yours to carry. That shame needs to be laid square on the abuser, never on the victim. Whether or not the abuser carries her own shame is up to her, but it is never your responsibility to carry it!