A mother discovers that her children have been sexually abused by a close relative for years. It’s the stuff of nightmares, yet such cases are frighteningly common. Here she tells her family’s story in the hope it helps others identify the danger signs.
Continue reading “Groomed by a grandfather”
This is regarding my boyfriend’s grandpa- I’m pretty close to the whole family but recent events are making things complicated.
Grandpa is 91 years old and lives in a house by himself but my boyfriend and his sister take turns staying overnight to care for him to make sure he doesn’t fall while going to bathroom, etc
Grandpa is making sexual advances toward granddaughter. I don’t know what to do?.https://www.agingcare.com/questions/grandpa-is-making-sexual-advances-toward-granddaughter-i-dont-know-what-to-do-440745.htm
Usually, inappropriateness is a sign of frontotemporal dementias – FTD, and not the nice flower people. I would definitely talk with your neurologist about this – it may be time to reevaluate therapeutic options.
My grandfather keeps saying hurtful, sexually inappropriate things… but he’s dying. Should I spend time with him?
There’s no right answer to this one, says our elder. You have to do what feels right to you.
This is really strange to write, but I need help with this. I haven’t spoken to anyone, because my family doesn’t understand and will think of me as dramatic. (They are sociopaths, unfortunately.) Anyway, my grandfather is dying. He has cancer in his lungs and his self-care is very poor despite this. I want to go visit him and spend time with him, but a part of me doesn’t want to. I only write this because he’s made very inappropriate comments to me. He’s not my blood grandfather, but I grew up with him as a little girl. Things he’s said… well just yesterday while my grandma was talking to me on the phone, I mentioned how I got extra money this weekend, and when she asked how, I heard him in the back saying, “selling p**sy.” Which was so inappropriate and hurt my feelings. I never disrespect my grandpa. He’s also commented on my breast size and calls me his girlfriend as a joke. It is starting to feel like all this time he wasn’t my grandpa, to begin with, but I don’t want him to leave me without saying goodbye. I’m really torn and up
Dying grandad is inappropriate
If there is one thing the #MeToo movement has done, it has brought the topic of sexual abuse to the forefront. With new allegations of abuse and assault filling our airwaves and clogging our newsfeeds, it can be scary to think about how common sexual abuse is. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that 1 in 6 boys and 1 in 4 girls will be abused before the age of 18. The consequences of sexual abuse can be severe, including depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and actions, and even physical health problems. So what can you as a parent do to avoid having your child become one of these statistics? Tempting as it might be to put your head in the sand, being knowledgeable and informed about abuse is one of the best ways we can protect our children.
The following 10 tips will help you identify who might pose a risk and how you can keep your children safe from abuse:
Continue reading “Keep Your Child Safe from the Sneakiest Sexual Abuser”
She chose a pedophile over me. She chose to roll over in her bed at night when he got out of the bed to come into mine. She chose to put me in the bedroom across the hall from them, instead of further down the hall, out of his grasp. She knew he had groomed me with threats to keep my mouth shut for all of these years, and groomed my parents, his own son, to trust him to leave their precious child alone with him because grandparents should be the adults you can trust to leave your child alone with.
She knew all of this, I would come to figure out as she and I argued. And yet, she chose their money over me, even though she was an educated woman and could have supported herself without him. She chose security in their wealth and success over me. She chose everything else in her life over an innocent child.
My Grandpa Was A Sexual Predator. Thank God My Parents Listened To Me.
Continue reading “My Grandpa Was A Sexual Predator.”
As a parent, one of your strongest instincts is to keep your child safe – from harm, from abuse, from being preyed upon. Predators – do you know what to look for if someone is “grooming” your child?
Predators are hidden in plain sight – they can be an older sibling, family member, relative, colleague or friend. In fact, 90% of the time a predator is someone with a relationship to the victim and the family.
You may be thinking… that won’t happen to my child, that can’t happen to our family. But it can. The best thing you do is to be prepared to spot the red flags BEFORE something happens. Predators have child grooming techniques you can learn to spot.
Common Tricks a Child Predator Uses: Telling Signs of a Child Predator
Continue reading “Predators are hidden in plain sight “
As predators get away with their acts, they learn the best ways to deflect others from discovering their secrets, and they enjoy the lack of accountability. They devise different sets of values for different life frames, so that they can speak convincingly about socially-approved venues of right and wrong, yet have no qualms about their socially-condemned behavior.
Robert Hare, one of the world’s foremost experts on psychopathic behavior, believes that people need to know what to do in the event they find themselves involved or associated with a predatory psychopath. Among his tips:
Continue reading “Inconspicuous Predators”
- Be careful of props—the winning smile, the promises, the fast talk, and the gifts meant to deflect you from the manipulation and exploitation that may be occurring. “Any of these characteristics,” he says, “can have enormous sleight-of-hand value, serving to distract you.”
- Anyone who seems too perfect is. Psychopaths hide their dark sides until they get their target person deeply involved. Too much flattery, feigned kindness, and cracks in grandiose stories should provide clues and put you on your guard. Make reasonable inquiries.
- Know yourself—or you might be vulnerable from your blind spots. Predators know how to find and use your triggers, so the more you realize what you tend to fall for, the more closely you can guard against it.
Faced with the possibility that her deviant step-grandfather could re-enter her life—and become part of her young children’s lives—a mom reached out to Reddit’s parenting community to determine if she was “overreacting.”
The woman presented her conundrum by sharing some background about their relationship: “He was abusive toward my mom and her siblings and to his own kids … My sister and I both experienced him being very inappropriate with us as kids. It started with him walking in on us in the bathroom and looking through the door when we were changing. It progressed to touching us in ways we were not comfortable with, to making comments about our bodies as we became teenagers, and trying to get us alone.”
Continue reading “A man with a history of lewd behavior is not a man you want around your kids.”