. Playing the victim
A common narcissistic strategy is to play the victim. “You hurt me! Poor, poor me.” Instead of working through the issue with you or internally, they have no problem dragging others into it by lying and painting you as the perpetrator and themselves as the victim.
Oftentimes, this involves the aforementioned preemptive strike or provoking to get a reaction. For example, destroying your property, slandering you, turning people against you, or physically attacking you. And then when you respond appropriately to their active or passive aggression, now they can say that you’re the aggressor because you are hurting them or that you’re unreasonable because of your “wild, unacceptable behavior.”
It’s callous and calculated, and again, it involves accusing you of the things that they themselves are doing or have done. So it’s not uncommon that the audience of this dramatic spectacle doesn’t see the whole picture or doesn’t care enough to figure out the full story. It is not uncommon that many will take the side of the narcissist. The narcissist is desperate that their spectacle be believed for the sake of their emotional management, so much so that they will say and do almost anything.
For a narcissist, it is rarely about the truth and almost always about their audience’s perception.
This way they receive false validation that they are right and good, and that you are wrong and evil. Here, their sense of self-esteem is restored and their feelings of shame and inadequacy are managed. So it’s all well and good. Except for those who got hurt—but who cares about them, right?