Posted in Alienation

Christmas Planning – Day 13

Its a tough time when you don’t see your children especially at Christmas, adverts everywhere depicting scenes of happy families, magazine adverts featuring children opening presents etc etc.

Yes me too, 29 years of alienation from my son and I do still have moments when I have to remind myself that:-

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” ~Walter Anderson

If we blame negative circumstances for our place in life, we are giving up responsibility and control.

We can choose to spread our misery, or we can choose to rise above our circumstances.

Self-pity is a form of selfishness. It makes us less aware of the needs and suffering of others.

  • Self pity encourages a build up of negativity.
  • Self pity destroys productivity.
  • Self pity prevents opportunities for learning.

Last year I read an inspiring post on one of the PA forums about a group of alienated parents “Me and some friends are all having a whip round and putting on a big xmas dinner for a group of single and lonely people who won’t get to see their children on Xmas day at the local pub, nobody will spend the day alone!”

Mentally strong people prevent self pity by:-

  • Facing their Feelings
  • Lean to recognize the warning signs of the downward spiral
  • Question their perceptions
  • Practice Gratitude
  • Help those less fortunate than you
  • Refuse to complain
  • Maintain an optimistic outlook
  • Build mental strength
  • Keep a journal. Write in it for 10 minutes every day.
  • Watch funny videos, clips and pictures.
  • Get a pet animal.
  • Take regular long walks.
  • Meditate.
  • Inner work.
  • Read inspirational quotes each day.

taken from Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do, an international bestselling book that is being translated into more than 25 languages.

Parental alienation is mental abuse and takes it toll on your children and you!!!! It’s now more important than ever to keep your mind focused and stay healthy for your children as well as yourself.

Believe it or not even the alienator will be affected by this abuse, but better equipped at handling it as many alienators are sufferers of NPD or some type of personality disorder.

If you are wondering why they should be better equipped, its their lack of empathy for other people. Our empathy allows us to imagine how other people feel and allows us to see them as human beings rather than objects. Some people have very little capacity for empathy and appear to be cold and unfeeling; narcissists have little or no empathy (empathy makes it difficult to be cruel to other people).

Over the next few weeks I shall be posting hints and tips on strengthening your resolve to give you the confidence, and resilience to deal with Parental Alienation and move forward with your life.

Keep up the good work and stay strong.