Here are twelve of the most common lies narcissists and sociopaths tell us, translated into what they actually mean:
1. I would never lie to you.
I am lying as I say this. You do know that an authentic truth-teller wouldn’t have to convince you, right? The reason I constantly have to tell you I would never lie to you is because I know you will eventually find the discrepancies between what I say and what I do. When you’re struggling to understand why I am acting with such cruelty, you’ll remember how I stressed to you that I am an honest person, a person of integrity and character – a person who would never do such things. You’ll be confused because my actions speak so differently than my words. Slowly but surely, I am brainwashing you into believing that I would never lie. That will create a conflict in you – enough reasonable doubt for whenever my lies come to the surface. You’ll want to believe in the person I pretended to be, rather than who I really am.
2. He or she was obsessed with me.
My past victims discovered my infidelity, my falsehoods and even gained a momentary glance behind the mask. They called me out, even tried to expose me. They tried to hold me accountable for my actions. Don’t be surprised if they reach out to warn you – but by the time they do, you’ll be convinced they’re crazy and obsessed with me. They’re just jealous of what we have – or at least that’s what I’ll tell you. They’re just stalking me because they want me back so desperately – couldn’t have anything to do with the pain I’ve inflicted upon them, right?
3. I was hanging out with friends.
I am busy grooming my primary source of narcissistic supply, an old flame or a new victim. I’ve got lots of “friends” in my harem who worship me and who need my time. Rest assured, there’s always plenty of ego strokes to go around for me. Any time I disappear, you can bet I am love-bombing someone and getting the attention I am entitled to. I am just that special. Don’t worry, you can be my “friend” too!