When we understand the Rules of Engagement with a narcissist, this gives us more reason to ignore them rather than go to war.
And … of course this helps lead us to the space to get onto working on our Inner Healing.
Narcissists are not like normal people in arguments and times of conflict. For most people conflict drains energy from their Inner Being – it is distasteful, painful and exhausting.
Narcissists are the opposite; conflict, drama and trauma energises them.
The narcissist’s TRUE feelings about him or herself are disastrous – hence why a fictitious character was created by him or her to be a buffer between the narcissist and his or her inner wounds.
This entity, known as Ego (False Self), is running the narcissist’s emotions and life and feeds from pain.
In stark contrast, the entity known as the True Self, (which still exists within us, even if not free yet because of internal trauma) feeds off and blossoms from love, authenticity and truth.
Because the narcissist is self-divorced from his or her True Self, the narcissist cannot feel, register or hold good feelings. He or she can only operate within the range of painful feelings. All “good” feelings, for a narcissist are delusional / obsessive and ego driven.
We are no match for a narcissist in a battle, who like a shark in blood infested waters, gets switched on and powered up.
We … instead … are torn to shreds.
It’s your ego that wants to fight on, but our True Self knows that the energy being expended and the brutalisation we suffer is not worth it, and is NOT who you really are.
Your True Self is screaming at you this: Pull away and heal and create yourself as a Being that is impervious to abuse. Don’t try to fight back because you will only feed it, absorb it and become it.