Posted in Alienation

Christmas Planning – Day One

Every year I compile a list of positive actions to do in the lead up to the Christmas holidays.

It is a very difficult time for those of us who are going through Parental Alienation. Having been through it myself for 23 years I have found many inventive ways of spending my time leading up to, and during the Christmas festivities.

Why not think about volunteering overseas?

One of the organisations you could get involved with is VSO.

Volunteer abroad with VSO

If you are an experienced professional of any age, you can find out more about volunteering with us on this page.

We also have programmes for 18-35 year olds (ICS) and for organisations interested in providing corporate volunteering opportunities for their employees

If you are interested in volunteering locally, please contact the VSO office in your country of residence.

Raleigh International also offer  opportunities for over 25 overseas

Aged between 25-75 and seeking a change of scene? Thinking about a career break or ready to embrace a new challenge? You’ve come to the right place – Change Starts Here through our Volunteer Manager roles.

Raleigh Expedition is an exciting opportunity for you to work alongside and support young people to become leaders and empower communities to create lasting change.

We’ve been connecting communities and volunteers for over 30 years and would love you to join us:

  • Live and work in some of the world’s most breath-taking landscapes across Costa Rica, Tanzania and Nepal.
  • Use your skills and experience in roles on project sites or in our international offices.
  • Be the driving force behind change in marginalised communities through our water, sanitation and hygiene and community resilience projects.
  • Lead and inspire groups of young volunteers aged 17-24.
  • Take an active role protecting natural resources and vulnerable environments.
  • Develop your leadership skills and make friends from all over the world.

Helping Abroad

Do You Want To Help Others, but Worry You Can’t Afford the Volunteer Fees?

Now, you can make a difference in the lives of people throughout the world with our affordable volunteer abroad programs

Helping Abroad guarantees the lowest prices for exciting volunteer programs all over the world
Fees are paid directly to host families and projects – absolutely no middlemen!
Experience life-changing adventures while providing invaluable assistance to poor people
Discover personal satisfaction through rewarding work that creates positive changes in the world

Peace Corps

WWOOF (World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms)

Become a GVI Trust Scholar

The folks over at GVI have an entire database full of volunter projects around the world to browse through. While there’s a fee associated with the programs, the organization’s Trust Scholar program, their volunteer abroad scholarship, awards up to £2,000 to eligible applicants.

SVP (Sudan Volunteer Programme)

United Nations Volunteer

Over 2,000 assignments become available each year to carry out the United Nations’ mission of fostering peace and promoting development.


American Village Camps in France

Volunteer Forever Scholarship





Posted in Alienation, Pathological Lying, PERSONALITY DISORDERS, Sociopath

Head Fuckery | SociopathHell.Com

This is a fairly strong titled post….and apologies upfront to anyone offended by the title. The reason this is titled Head Fuckery is that is exactly what a Narcissist Sociopath does with their blame, lies, deceit, emotional blackmail, deflection/projection, abuse and so on.

How does Head Fuckery work?

  • ask a direct question~ get lies in return
  • abuse~ mental/emotional/physical and financial
  • turning their unacceptable behaviour into you are actually the one acting inappropriate
  • denial, denial, denial~ never do they accept accountability {yet you are to be 100% accountable}
  • hypercritical~ about most everything & everyone
  • falsely accuse you of things and/or events that they actually did and/or said
  • fault blaming~ they can point out every single fault they perceive you have
  • intentionally causing pain~ and then denying they did.
  • displays of limited emotional connection to a person or place

Being involved with a Narcissistic Sociopath is like getting into a washing machine and setting it on spin cycle. You go round & round & round, never to stop. To stop the spin cycle and Head Fuckery, there is only one option: get out!

Continue reading “Head Fuckery | SociopathHell.Com”

Posted in Alienation

How Narcissists Play Mind Games to Make You Think the Problem is You

If narcissists are so self-absorbed and use people to boost their self-esteem, you may wonder: Am I no different than the narcissist, since the excessive love-bombing that he or she used was so effective on me?

The tactics that they used to love-bomb you are intentionally designed to make you vulnerable and will psychologically elicit love, appreciation, trust and a sense of obligation from anyone. They used they on you to elicit that love from you for themselves.

They are the same tactics used by cults to indoctrinate. In fact, the very term “love-bombing” was originally used by the Unification Church (the “Moonies”), although they insisted it is genuine and it was critics of religious “love-bombers” who insist there are ulterior motives.

Either way, you are not a narcissist for responding psychologically to the way tactics such as “mirroring” naturally entice someone to like you. There is even a popular book out now called The Science of Likeability that discusses some of the same techniques that narcissists happen to use and why they work.

Narcissists use them during the idealization phase of the relationship under intense conditions in a very short period of time to encourage strong bonding. The fact that you were susceptible to them does not make you a narcissist– it makes you human.

In contrast, Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a disorder in which the criteria indicate that narcissists have a sense of entitlement and expect constant, excessive admiration. People who have this disorder have a need for this admiration which drives them to deceive and manipulate in order to receive it.

In addition, you actually loved him or her, or at least the person they presented to you. You likely put all of your trust, commitment and care into the relationship and your feelings were real.

Narcissists do not love people– they love how people make them feel or what people can do for them. The narcissist implemented these tactics with the goal of getting you to return the emotions so they could feel self-validated. You had no ulterior motive or goal.

Posted in Alienation

How Narcissists Play Mind Games to Make You Think the Problem is You | Fairy Tale Shadows

This is how narcissists play mind games.

They call it “morally equivalent,” the things they incite in the dramatic production they’re scripting off-stage while we wander through the storybook they dropped us into, wondering how things veered so sharply off-course.

Or worse, the imaginary things, the shadows they project onto us of their own behavior. The cheating. The lying. The stalking. The abusive and predatory actions. The contradictions. The controlling manipulations. The jealous attitude.

They manufacture emotions that look and feel like monstrosities in our own repertoire, then call us monsters for reflecting back to them what they wanted to incite or expected to see all along.

They create worlds for themselves in which no one can be trusted by acting themselves in an untrustworthy manner, and then trapping you into reacting to being betrayed.

These are all just narcissist mind games.

Everything they say, everything they do, ends up making you wonder if you are the one to blame, if there is something wrong with you, if you are no different than he or she is.

Continue reading “How Narcissists Play Mind Games to Make You Think the Problem is You | Fairy Tale Shadows”

Posted in Alienation

3 Mind Games Every Single Toxic Person Plays With You

They have personality and mental disorders and they need professional help. The last thing you need is to ruin yourself by trying to figure out him/her and giving your all in order to help them.

Now that we have that clear, here are the three mind games toxic people play with you.

Game #1: Gain, Preserve or Acquire Control

Toxic people are all about control—if they don’t have control over other people, they have nothing.

If they can elicit a particular response from you or move you to do what they want, this gives them the feeling of power that they are looking for. This makes them feel like they are in control over the situation and it also gives them the feeling of power over you.

What’s the story behind this? Toxic people need to have control everywhere, but if they can’t get it wherever they want it, they’ll double the dose on you. So if they can’t have control at work, they’ll search for it elsewhere—ergo they’ll make up for it with you.

Pay attention if you’re purposely giving the control to satisfy the person playing the mind game or are you being manipulated?

Continue reading “3 Mind Games Every Single Toxic Person Plays With You”

Posted in Alienation

Mind Games People Play | Psychoanalysis Now

We play mind games because it makes us feel powerful and allows us to avoid taking responsibility for our feelings. The drawback of playing mind games is that you never really have an authentic relationship with people and thus never feel a deep loving connection that comes from honesty and trust.

Below are seven common mind games.

1 – Disqualifying. This is a method of saying something hurtful to someone and then, when they become hurt, doing a double-whammy by making it seem you didn’t at all mean what they thought you meant. You may say to someone, “Sometimes you’re so gullible.” If the person becomes hurt (which you consciously or unconsciously want), you reply, “Oh, I was just joking. Sometimes you’re so over-sensitive.” Not only do you hurt them once, but you hurt them twice, by disqualifying what you first said and then insulting them. This can make the other person both angry and confused.

2 – Forgetting. Passive-aggressive personalities play this game. Basically they forget important things like appointments, promises, paying back loans and the like. You wait for them to remember but they don’t, and when you bring it up they reply, “Oh, I’m so sorry, I forgot.” After having to bring it up several times you start to get annoyed. Then they reply, “Oh, I’m really sorry. Are you angry? You seem angry.” If you ask them if they’re angry at you, they protest, “Oh, God no. If I were I’d tell you.” They make you feel that you’re angry over nothing, which makes you more angry. This is how they “dump” their anger onto you without giving you a chance to voice your own anger.

3 – Persecuting. Sometimes people project their hatred onto others and persecute them. They are either unaware of their own hatred or they think it’s justified. Once they begin projecting, they look for reasons to persecute. If the hated individuals disagree with them on politics, decline an invitation or smile the wrong way, the persecutor finds a way to punish them. They may talk trash about them behind their backs, get others to gang up against them, or speak to them in a condescending or insulting way. They judge them as bad or evil and treat them accordingly. They never discuss their feelings or try to work things out. This is the opposite of the golden rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This could be stated, “Punish others for not being what you want them to be.”

Continue reading “Mind Games People Play | Psychoanalysis Now”